Teen wants to go a residential treatment program?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thanks, all. My issue and concern with these programs is that DD isn’t really a behavioral issue. She doesn’t skip school, no drugs/alcohol, bright, articulate, the stereotypical “a pleasure to have in class.” But she is so profoundly sad and depressed. I just feel like the types of people she might meet and such would make it a ooor fit. But I also want to take her seriously.

Did you stop to consider that this is part of the issue in itself? She’s so busy being perfect for everyone else that she never gets to fall apart and address her needs? This is very common in certain psychiatric disorders, like eating disorders.

What “type of people” are you concerned for her to meet? People who have mental illness, just like she does? There is no “type of people” with mental illness.. if affects all demographics.

Your response might provide a few clues about why she’s eager to go away from her environment to heal. Listen to her carefully.

Not op but you’re off base. It is widely and openly acknowledged in the mental health treatment community that adolescents without substance abuse are not well served in settings where that is commonly the chief complaint. No one is casting aspersions on the teens with substance abuse-but their needs are different AND it’s absolutely possible for patients not down the substance use path or on the periphery to start or escalate use when they are spending all their time with kids with addiction. It’s not a criticism of the kids with addiction issues, it’s human nature!

If you’re in the business, you’d know that there are residential programs that don’t deal with substance abuse, right? Many programs do not want to deal with substance abuse, as it’s a very different kettle of fish, especially in the early stages.

This. While one poster seems familiar only with programs that deal with substance abuse, there are programs that work with kids with other areas. OP's daughter took a huge risk in telling her mom that she wanted to explore a residential program. OP should keep exploring to find programs. The daughter's therapist should be involved in this process.

OP, if at any moment you have even the tiniest fleeting thought that your daughter might move from depression to thoughts of suicide or other self-harm, then please scoop her up and take her immediately to the nearest ER for an eval, calling the therapist while you're on the way. Don't be afraid to ask her point blank if she has had suicidal thoughts or if she feels like harming herself. It is completely untrue that asking these questions are in a way suggesting the action.

Hugs.

[Anonymous]

There is a short term residential program in Fairfax called Leland House.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thanks, all. My issue and concern with these programs is that DD isn’t really a behavioral issue. She doesn’t skip school, no drugs/alcohol, bright, articulate, the stereotypical “a pleasure to have in class.” But she is so profoundly sad and depressed. I just feel like the types of people she might meet and such would make it a ooor fit. But I also want to take her seriously.

Did you stop to consider that this is part of the issue in itself? She’s so busy being perfect for everyone else that she never gets to fall apart and address her needs? This is very common in certain psychiatric disorders, like eating disorders.

What “type of people” are you concerned for her to meet? People who have mental illness, just like she does? There is no “type of people” with mental illness.. if affects all demographics.

Your response might provide a few clues about why she’s eager to go away from her environment to heal. Listen to her carefully.

Not op but you’re off base. It is widely and openly acknowledged in the mental health treatment community that adolescents without substance abuse are not well served in settings where that is commonly the chief complaint. No one is casting aspersions on the teens with substance abuse-but their needs are different AND it’s absolutely possible for patients not down the substance use path or on the periphery to start or escalate use when they are spending all their time with kids with addiction. It’s not a criticism of the kids with addiction issues, it’s human nature!

If you’re in the business, you’d know that there are residential programs that don’t deal with substance abuse, right? Many programs do not want to deal with substance abuse, as it’s a very different kettle of fish, especially in the early stages.

This. While one poster seems familiar only with programs that deal with substance abuse, there are programs that work with kids with other areas. OP's daughter took a huge risk in telling her mom that she wanted to explore a residential program. OP should keep exploring to find programs. The daughter's therapist should be involved in this process.

OP, if at any moment you have even the tiniest fleeting thought that your daughter might move from depression to thoughts of suicide or other self-harm, then please scoop her up and take her immediately to the nearest ER for an eval, calling the therapist while you're on the way. Don't be afraid to ask her point blank if she has had suicidal thoughts or if she feels like harming herself. It is completely untrue that asking these questions are in a way suggesting the action.

Hugs.

There are but there are many unscrupulous programs and bad fits are very common! Many harrowing accounts online. I agree she should take it extremely seriously but fact is there are risks to the wrong level of care, which is why licensed professionals should drive decisions about placement, not teenagers. That’s why if your teen has a stomach ache you take them to a gastroenterologist to see what they recommend, not start looking yourself into getting her appendix removed at a for-profit center.

[Anonymous]

There is always the poster who gives horror stories. I, like many people I know, have children who are alive and functioning today because of residential treatment. I k is kids for whom it hasnt worked. But I don’t know any who are worse for going. Most have really benefited.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thanks, all. My issue and concern with these programs is that DD isn’t really a behavioral issue. She doesn’t skip school, no drugs/alcohol, bright, articulate, the stereotypical “a pleasure to have in class.” But she is so profoundly sad and depressed. I just feel like the types of people she might meet and such would make it a ooor fit. But I also want to take her seriously.

Did you stop to consider that this is part of the issue in itself? She’s so busy being perfect for everyone else that she never gets to fall apart and address her needs? This is very common in certain psychiatric disorders, like eating disorders.

What “type of people” are you concerned for her to meet? People who have mental illness, just like she does? There is no “type of people” with mental illness.. if affects all demographics.

Your response might provide a few clues about why she’s eager to go away from her environment to heal. Listen to her carefully.

Not op but you’re off base. It is widely and openly acknowledged in the mental health treatment community that adolescents without substance abuse are not well served in settings where that is commonly the chief complaint. No one is casting aspersions on the teens with substance abuse-but their needs are different AND it’s absolutely possible for patients not down the substance use path or on the periphery to start or escalate use when they are spending all their time with kids with addiction. It’s not a criticism of the kids with addiction issues, it’s human nature!

If you’re in the business, you’d know that there are residential programs that don’t deal with substance abuse, right? Many programs do not want to deal with substance abuse, as it’s a very different kettle of fish, especially in the early stages.

This. While one poster seems familiar only with programs that deal with substance abuse, there are programs that work with kids with other areas. OP's daughter took a huge risk in telling her mom that she wanted to explore a residential program. OP should keep exploring to find programs. The daughter's therapist should be involved in this process.

OP, if at any moment you have even the tiniest fleeting thought that your daughter might move from depression to thoughts of suicide or other self-harm, then please scoop her up and take her immediately to the nearest ER for an eval, calling the therapist while you're on the way. Don't be afraid to ask her point blank if she has had suicidal thoughts or if she feels like harming herself. It is completely untrue that asking these questions are in a way suggesting the action.

Hugs.

There are but there are many unscrupulous programs and bad fits are very common! Many harrowing accounts online. I agree she should take it extremely seriously but fact is there are risks to the wrong level of care, which is why licensed professionals should drive decisions about placement, not teenagers. That’s why if your teen has a stomach ache you take them to a gastroenterologist to see what they recommend, not start looking yourself into getting her appendix removed at a for-profit center.

You are not making any sense. Look, I get it that you're emotional about this subject. But OP is asking for advice. She doesn't need you discouraging her from looking at her options. Practically every post except yours indicates involving the therapist and doing her homework. Your post is pretty much a rant against … I don't know what. You even lobbed one against the kid, who should be commended for being brave enough to surface the subject with her mom. Honestly I think the best thing for you to do is to call your own therapist and get in to see him/her, and let OP keep doing what she's doing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thanks, all. My issue and concern with these programs is that DD isn’t really a behavioral issue. She doesn’t skip school, no drugs/alcohol, bright, articulate, the stereotypical “a pleasure to have in class.” But she is so profoundly sad and depressed. I just feel like the types of people she might meet and such would make it a ooor fit. But I also want to take her seriously.

Did you stop to consider that this is part of the issue in itself? She’s so busy being perfect for everyone else that she never gets to fall apart and address her needs? This is very common in certain psychiatric disorders, like eating disorders.

What “type of people” are you concerned for her to meet? People who have mental illness, just like she does? There is no “type of people” with mental illness.. if affects all demographics.

Your response might provide a few clues about why she’s eager to go away from her environment to heal. Listen to her carefully.

Not op but you’re off base. It is widely and openly acknowledged in the mental health treatment community that adolescents without substance abuse are not well served in settings where that is commonly the chief complaint. No one is casting aspersions on the teens with substance abuse-but their needs are different AND it’s absolutely possible for patients not down the substance use path or on the periphery to start or escalate use when they are spending all their time with kids with addiction. It’s not a criticism of the kids with addiction issues, it’s human nature!

If you’re in the business, you’d know that there are residential programs that don’t deal with substance abuse, right? Many programs do not want to deal with substance abuse, as it’s a very different kettle of fish, especially in the early stages.

This. While one poster seems familiar only with programs that deal with substance abuse, there are programs that work with kids with other areas. OP's daughter took a huge risk in telling her mom that she wanted to explore a residential program. OP should keep exploring to find programs. The daughter's therapist should be involved in this process.

OP, if at any moment you have even the tiniest fleeting thought that your daughter might move from depression to thoughts of suicide or other self-harm, then please scoop her up and take her immediately to the nearest ER for an eval, calling the therapist while you're on the way. Don't be afraid to ask her point blank if she has had suicidal thoughts or if she feels like harming herself. It is completely untrue that asking these questions are in a way suggesting the action.

Hugs.

There are but there are many unscrupulous programs and bad fits are very common! Many harrowing accounts online. I agree she should take it extremely seriously but fact is there are risks to the wrong level of care, which is why licensed professionals should drive decisions about placement, not teenagers. That’s why if your teen has a stomach ache you take them to a gastroenterologist to see what they recommend, not start looking yourself into getting her appendix removed at a for-profit center.

You are not making any sense. Look, I get it that you're emotional about this subject. But OP is asking for advice. She doesn't need you discouraging her from looking at her options. Practically every post except yours indicates involving the therapist and doing her homework. Your post is pretty much a rant against … I don't know what. You even lobbed one against the kid, who should be commended for being brave enough to surface the subject with her mom. Honestly I think the best thing for you to do is to call your own therapist and get in to see him/her, and let OP keep doing what she's doing.

Multiple people have replied advising caution (while taking the issue seriously), including me. I “lobbed” nothing against the child. Sometimes these programs are helpful and sometimes they are unhelpful or worse-why whitewash it? And I hardly think that suggesting a child’s physician should be central in level of care decisions is unusual.

[Anonymous]

I am glad that we were able to come to an agreement. Now call your therapist and get in tomorrow.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Talk to her about what those programs are really like, make sure she really understands that she will be treated more like a prisoner than a patient, then see what she thinks about going.

F you

Excuse me?

Never mind, I'll just report your post. Not sure (or interested in) what your problem is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thanks, all. My issue and concern with these programs is that DD isn’t really a behavioral issue. She doesn’t skip school, no drugs/alcohol, bright, articulate, the stereotypical “a pleasure to have in class.” But she is so profoundly sad and depressed. I just feel like the types of people she might meet and such would make it a ooor fit. But I also want to take her seriously.

Did you stop to consider that this is part of the issue in itself? She’s so busy being perfect for everyone else that she never gets to fall apart and address her needs? This is very common in certain psychiatric disorders, like eating disorders.

What “type of people” are you concerned for her to meet? People who have mental illness, just like she does? There is no “type of people” with mental illness.. if affects all demographics.

Your response might provide a few clues about why she’s eager to go away from her environment to heal. Listen to her carefully.

Child doesn't have an eating disorder and has depression.

It was an example of a disorder that manifests itself with “perfection”. You people are grasping at too many straws.

[Anonymous]

If 1X weekly outpatient isn't enough, consider more intensive outpatient therapy - 2 or 3X weekly, with someone who specializes in that kind of work.

People tend to have unrealistic expectations of inpatient treatment, like it's a kind of total makeover. But when you come out, you're still the same person with the same world you have to deal with. Inpatient programs know this, and typically insist on extensive followup treatment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Talk to her about what those programs are really like, make sure she really understands that she will be treated more like a prisoner than a patient, then see what she thinks about going.

F you

Excuse me?

Never mind, I'll just report your post. Not sure (or interested in) what your problem is.

Have you ever been in a such a program or have had a child in one?

[Anonymous]

OP, have you looked at the Intensive Outpatient Programs? They are intensive therapy for a few hours after the school day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If 1X weekly outpatient isn't enough, consider more intensive outpatient therapy - 2 or 3X weekly, with someone who specializes in that kind of work.

People tend to have unrealistic expectations of inpatient treatment, like it's a kind of total makeover. But when you come out, you're still the same person with the same world you have to deal with. Inpatient programs know this, and typically insist on extensive followup treatment.

Ahhh, mostly right but a little off target. When you come out, you may have changed but you are dealing with a world and environment that hasn't changed. It is hard to maintain your change if you are in an environment that maintains its old patterns of behavior and its old expectations of you and for you. To this end, OP and family should also be undergoing some sort of familial therapy and/or training to get ready to help the daughter when she leaves the inpatient program. Think of it as the old Bible moral that you don't put new wine into an old cask. The family needs to change to help the daughter be successful in her new mode.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Talk to her about what those programs are really like, make sure she really understands that she will be treated more like a prisoner than a patient, then see what she thinks about going.

F you

Excuse me?

Never mind, I'll just report your post. Not sure (or interested in) what your problem is.

Have you ever been in a such a program or have had a child in one?

Why else would I say or think that?? I didn't just imagine it and I truly think it's something that someone willingly wanting to go such a program should be made aware of.

[Anonymous]

Here is my experience as an adult. This year I struggled with major depression and suicidal ideation. I discussed going inpatient with my psychiatrist (and I was going to go to private pay, top place) and he recommended against it. Said something to the effect that it was proven Not to be more effective than working on issues at home. He said to consider a second opinion with a psychiatrist and/or Ketamine. I would discuss thoughts with her psychiatrist. Good luck.