Middle schoolers at the mall on Saturday night?

[Anonymous]

Trashy, but not dangerous in the least.

[Anonymous]

Why would this not be okay? I don’t get it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would say yes, but I would also be at the mall (obviously not with my kid though). Hard now on just dropping off a middle schooler and leaving though.

I'm the PP who said we drop off. I'm genuinely curious why the hard no on drop off? Is it some specific risk about the mall, or are you not in favor of leaving a tween anywhere when you are not there? I just want to understand he risk, if I am missing it.

I’m the poster who won’t drop off. It’s all about level of comfort. If you have never been followed you may not understand. I’ve been followed at the mall before. It’s not a risk I’m willing to take with my tween child right now. The way I feel about it is—you do you. I have no issue with other people dropping their kids at the mall. Right now mine won’t be left there without myself or DH also there (window shopping or whatever) while she hangs out with her friends.

Appreciate this response. And I get that the possibility of being followed, especially if you experienced it, would be concerning. I honestly wasn't judging, just curious about the risk. Thanks for identifying one. I should say that my DD has Life360 on her phone, which gives me some level of comfort. And I do use it to check occasionally that she is at the mall (and moving around).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Trashy, but not dangerous in the least.

OP here. This is my favorite comment.

Update: She went to the mall. I dropped her off and picked up. We did talk about shoplifting right before, as well as not doing stupid things that would get you in trouble with security. I told her that he had to say with the group, take a friend with her if she went to the bathroom. It sounds like they had a good time.

[Anonymous]

My 7th grader goes to the mall with friends (and no parent) all the time. In fact, the majority of kids in her grade that she knows also do.

I'm not sure the problem here.So, I'm interested to hear that side, as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Didn’t you guys go to the mall as kids??? You buy a snack, people watch, maybe buy some inexpensive accessories... lots of giggling... casually stroll through the food court a few times to see who you can find from school. Hold hands with a new boyfriend. Buy lip gloss at Sephora...

To the PP who’s worried about following, your kid can be followed whether you’re in the mall or not.

Kids have done this for decades.

The negatives are: vaping, drugs, shopliftings and shootings. Some Malls attract a rough crowd.

That said it was what we did in the 1970s.

Before the ice skating rink shut down and the roller skating rink shut down we preferred going to those. Some kids go bowling but that is more of a cold weather activity in the rust belt.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes for sure. Middle school is when it is cool to hang out at the mall. By high school, it isn't really cool anymore.

They wander the stores, try on ridiculous outfits their parents would never let them buy, they look at edgy t shirts / shoes. They get a smoothie or a coffee, they chit chat.

Occasionally we had minor issues but those were just teachable moments. Once they started playing tag / hide and go seek or some kind of game where they were running through the mall. Got in trouble with security. Another time someown with them shoplifted a small item from Ardene's. didn't get caught but my DD wasn't sure what to do. A thirs time two friends coupled off and left the group and went odf their own and rhe resr of the kids didn't know where they were, didn't want to leave their friends. In allcases we just talked through the scenarios and they were good learning moments.

I didn't stay at the mall the while time. I typically came back early and would walk around 10-15 minutes before pick up time. Never saw anything that was concerning.

+1. Can confirm (at least in the 90s) the cool thing was to go to the mall when in middle school. They're finally "old" enough to be without parents doing "cool" things and feeling sooo "mature".

Let your middle schoolers get this out of their system.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would say yes, but I would also be at the mall (obviously not with my kid though). Hard now on just dropping off a middle schooler and leaving though.

I'm the PP who said we drop off. I'm genuinely curious why the hard no on drop off? Is it some specific risk about the mall, or are you not in favor of leaving a tween anywhere when you are not there? I just want to understand he risk, if I am missing it.

I’m the poster who won’t drop off. It’s all about level of comfort. If you have never been followed you may not understand. I’ve been followed at the mall before. It’s not a risk I’m willing to take with my tween child right now. The way I feel about it is—you do you. I have no issue with other people dropping their kids at the mall. Right now mine won’t be left there without myself or DH also there (window shopping or whatever) while she hangs out with her friends.

It would be more effective to teach your daughter to go into the Lulu Lemon or someplace like that and ask a female clerk for assistance than to run to mommy. They need to learn how to fend for themselves.

[Anonymous]

How is this not ok? Seriously I’m scared for some of your families. I was babysitting newborns at this age. You are raising useless kids who will either spend their life in fear of the world or jump out of a figurative window to escape you. It is a mall. A public place. A busy one. Helicopter parenting is damaging.

[Anonymous]

I let my 8th grader go but had a talk before. No talking to any strangers whatsoever. Even if they flatter or other ways to try to get attention. She sticks w/ friends and people she knows only.
The malls are recruiting grounds for traffickers. Kid thought I was over the top but I'd rather be safe than sorry and have that in the back of her head.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How is this not ok? Seriously I’m scared for some of your families. I was babysitting newborns at this age. You are raising useless kids who will either spend their life in fear of the world or jump out of a figurative window to escape you. It is a mall. A public place. A busy one. Helicopter parenting is damaging.

+1 Not only did my son go to the mall with his friends in 7th grade, they took the metro there and back without any adults!