Is it typical for most college kids to go to college four or more hours away from home?

[Anonymous]

No - most college students attend stat schools/community colleges in or near their home towns.

Personally I couldn't wait to get away from my family and have never lived fewer than 5 hours flight away from them since I was 18 ... you reap what you sow!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I find it amazing that people on this board don't seemed fazed about their kids going very far away for college. If a kid goes to college far away, it greatly reduces their chances of returning after graduation. That being said many people in the DC area aren't originally from here and may not have plans to stay here indefinitely, so maybe that's it. They never expected to live close to their kids once they reached adulthood anyways. As for me, my entire family lives in VA, and it seems normal to be close to family. The idea of only seeing my adult kids 2x a year is heartbreaking. If my kid really wanted to go far away to school, I would allow, but I will be honest, I'm certainly not encouraging it in any way.

This is abnormal thinking. Cut the apron strings already.

NP. This is not abnormal thinking at all. Quite the contrary.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I find it amazing that people on this board don't seemed fazed about their kids going very far away for college. If a kid goes to college far away, it greatly reduces their chances of returning after graduation. That being said many people in the DC area aren't originally from here and may not have plans to stay here indefinitely, so maybe that's it. They never expected to live close to their kids once they reached adulthood anyways. As for me, my entire family lives in VA, and it seems normal to be close to family. The idea of only seeing my adult kids 2x a year is heartbreaking. If my kid really wanted to go far away to school, I would allow, but I will be honest, I'm certainly not encouraging it in any way.

This is abnormal thinking. Cut the apron strings already.

NP. This is not abnormal thinking at all. Quite the contrary.

+1 the idea of living hours away from family and only seeing them a few times per year is not at all the norm anywhere in the world except for certain pockets or the US. In Fact this is one of the things I find sad and problematic about US culture.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I find it amazing that people on this board don't seemed fazed about their kids going very far away for college. If a kid goes to college far away, it greatly reduces their chances of returning after graduation. That being said many people in the DC area aren't originally from here and may not have plans to stay here indefinitely, so maybe that's it. They never expected to live close to their kids once they reached adulthood anyways. As for me, my entire family lives in VA, and it seems normal to be close to family. The idea of only seeing my adult kids 2x a year is heartbreaking. If my kid really wanted to go far away to school, I would allow, but I will be honest, I'm certainly not encouraging it in any way.

I want my kids to live where it makes them happy, and where they have the best opportunity. That may or may not be the DMV. I am not putting my desires or needs ahead of theirs.

Yeah but sending them hundreds/thousands of miles away almost guarantees that they will be gone for good. And whose to say that if they stayed closer to home they wouldn't have been happy either?

Do you have any source for that statement? It is not at all consistent with what we've seen happen. As others have said, most of the kids who go to far flung schools come from UMC families, and the kids are often prioritizing top schools that give them the flexibility to go where they want post-graduation. Many of them just follow the jobs in the areas they are interested in, and our area has a great job market even if family ties or childhood community weren't important to a particular kid. Most kids I know move back to their home cities or within driving distance after graduation, at least the ones who come from happy families and have a lot of friends in the area.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I find it amazing that people on this board don't seemed fazed about their kids going very far away for college. If a kid goes to college far away, it greatly reduces their chances of returning after graduation. That being said many people in the DC area aren't originally from here and may not have plans to stay here indefinitely, so maybe that's it. They never expected to live close to their kids once they reached adulthood anyways. As for me, my entire family lives in VA, and it seems normal to be close to family. The idea of only seeing my adult kids 2x a year is heartbreaking. If my kid really wanted to go far away to school, I would allow, but I will be honest, I'm certainly not encouraging it in any way.

This is abnormal thinking. Cut the apron strings already.

NP. This is not abnormal thinking at all. Quite the contrary.

+1 the idea of living hours away from family and only seeing them a few times per year is not at all the norm anywhere in the world except for certain pockets or the US. In Fact this is one of the things I find sad and problematic about US culture.

Oh my dear. I am European and have cousins who lived or are currently living on every continent except Antartica. My father left his family to lived permanently on the other side of the world. My nephews have lived or plan to live on different continents than the ones they grew up in.

We are a much, much, larger group than you think, poor ignorant person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I find it amazing that people on this board don't seemed fazed about their kids going very far away for college. If a kid goes to college far away, it greatly reduces their chances of returning after graduation. That being said many people in the DC area aren't originally from here and may not have plans to stay here indefinitely, so maybe that's it. They never expected to live close to their kids once they reached adulthood anyways. As for me, my entire family lives in VA, and it seems normal to be close to family. The idea of only seeing my adult kids 2x a year is heartbreaking. If my kid really wanted to go far away to school, I would allow, but I will be honest, I'm certainly not encouraging it in any way.

This is abnormal thinking. Cut the apron strings already.

Not really. At all. I am not American so maybe my perspective is different than someone who is only familiar with American culture but seeing your adult kids only a few times per year, not being a regular presence in grandkids’ lives etc. bc your entire family is scattered around thousands of miles apart is very very abnormal in most parts of world and many parts of the US, too.

[Anonymous]

No, there is a huge range. Finances play a huge part in it. My sibling and I both went away. My parents restricted us to the East Coast. So glad to get away from them.

[Anonymous]

The provincial thinking is strong. Suppose, depending on their field, they want to work in Silicon Valley, or Wall Street, or Hollywood? That doesn't mean they'll live in those places forever, but there is a tremendous level of employment experience for young college grads available elsewhere that may be much more difficult to come by in DC. I'm truly shocked that many in this thread are of the mind that their kids will stay nearby for their entire lives.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I find it amazing that people on this board don't seemed fazed about their kids going very far away for college. If a kid goes to college far away, it greatly reduces their chances of returning after graduation. That being said many people in the DC area aren't originally from here and may not have plans to stay here indefinitely, so maybe that's it. They never expected to live close to their kids once they reached adulthood anyways. As for me, my entire family lives in VA, and it seems normal to be close to family. The idea of only seeing my adult kids 2x a year is heartbreaking. If my kid really wanted to go far away to school, I would allow, but I will be honest, I'm certainly not encouraging it in any way.

This is abnormal thinking. Cut the apron strings already.

Not really. At all. I am not American so maybe my perspective is different than someone who is only familiar with American culture but seeing your adult kids only a few times per year, not being a regular presence in grandkids’ lives etc. bc your entire family is scattered around thousands of miles apart is very very abnormal in most parts of world and many parts of the US, too.

Well it all depends. Individualistic notions of people growing up and “going out on their own” are not the norm in many cultures, which emphasize that elders should be looked after by family members and that family well-being is a collective responsibility. This is challenging individualistic notions that the ultimate aim of adult life is to be independent and able to “go it alone”.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I find it amazing that people on this board don't seemed fazed about their kids going very far away for college. If a kid goes to college far away, it greatly reduces their chances of returning after graduation. That being said many people in the DC area aren't originally from here and may not have plans to stay here indefinitely, so maybe that's it. They never expected to live close to their kids once they reached adulthood anyways. As for me, my entire family lives in VA, and it seems normal to be close to family. The idea of only seeing my adult kids 2x a year is heartbreaking. If my kid really wanted to go far away to school, I would allow, but I will be honest, I'm certainly not encouraging it in any way.

I want my kids to live where it makes them happy, and where they have the best opportunity. That may or may not be the DMV. I am not putting my desires or needs ahead of theirs.

Yeah but sending them hundreds/thousands of miles away almost guarantees that they will be gone for good. And whose to say that if they stayed closer to home they wouldn't have been happy either?

Not really. Maybe, maybe not.

I don't particularly like this area and don't think it offers much quality of life, particularly considering what it costs to live here. I'd be happy if my kids found better places to live, and I don't mind moving to be closer to them.

I promise not to tell your kid you feel this way during these first years of separation. And you promise not to tell my kid I feel the same.

[Anonymous]

Staying one's whole life in, say, Virginia, or even in a three-state radius, sounds awfully limiting for one's career prospects.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Staying one's whole life in, say, Virginia, or even in a three-state radius, sounds awfully limiting for one's career prospects.

There's a lot more to life than career.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Staying one's whole life in, say, Virginia, or even in a three-state radius, sounds awfully limiting for one's career prospects.

There's a lot more to life than career.

which is why we are OUTA HERE as soon as we retire.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Staying one's whole life in, say, Virginia, or even in a three-state radius, sounds awfully limiting for one's career prospects.

Many (most?) of us do not define our lives by “career prospects.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I find it amazing that people on this board don't seemed fazed about their kids going very far away for college. If a kid goes to college far away, it greatly reduces their chances of returning after graduation. That being said many people in the DC area aren't originally from here and may not have plans to stay here indefinitely, so maybe that's it. They never expected to live close to their kids once they reached adulthood anyways. As for me, my entire family lives in VA, and it seems normal to be close to family. The idea of only seeing my adult kids 2x a year is heartbreaking. If my kid really wanted to go far away to school, I would allow, but I will be honest, I'm certainly not encouraging it in any way.

This is abnormal thinking. Cut the apron strings already.

It’s not abnormal thinking. Lots of people prioritize family over career in a variety of different ways — and this is one of them.