How old were your kids when they could wake up and get to the bus stop on their own?

[Anonymous]

My son could do this at 6. He woke to an alarm clock, got his breakfast, watched cartoons while he ate, knew to check the clock so he would go out to the bus at the right time, and gave the baby (1 yr old) a bottle in her crib before he left. He would tell me he was leaving and give me a kiss goodbye. I was usually still sleeping.

Today's kids don't do this kind of thing in elementary school because their parents think they can't or they think it's child abuse if you encourage such independence and self-reliance.

My kids are grown now and they turned out great, I'm very proud of both of them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My son could do this at 6. He woke to an alarm clock, got his breakfast, watched cartoons while he ate, knew to check the clock so he would go out to the bus at the right time, and gave the baby (1 yr old) a bottle in her crib before he left. He would tell me he was leaving and give me a kiss goodbye. I was usually still sleeping.

Today's kids don't do this kind of thing in elementary school because their parents think they can't or they think it's child abuse if you encourage such independence and self-reliance.

My kids are grown now and they turned out great, I'm very proud of both of them.

You are the laziest mother ever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you have a clearance? The college kid plan isn’t really legal - the IRS wants you to be more precise so they can tax the arrangement.

How would they ever know?

OP would need to have a lease because you can't just throw someone out who you have let live there for free. Judges won't let you do that. With a lease, OP has more protection, but she opens herself to getting sued just like anyone with an off the books nanny is open to being sued.

It is just a very, very bad idea. She would be better off getting an au pair, having them do before school care/get kid to bus stop, and after school care and start dinner.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My son could do this at 6. He woke to an alarm clock, got his breakfast, watched cartoons while he ate, knew to check the clock so he would go out to the bus at the right time, and gave the baby (1 yr old) a bottle in her crib before he left. He would tell me he was leaving and give me a kiss goodbye. I was usually still sleeping.

Today's kids don't do this kind of thing in elementary school because their parents think they can't or they think it's child abuse if you encourage such independence and self-reliance.

My kids are grown now and they turned out great, I'm very proud of both of them.

You are the laziest mother ever.

+1,000,000!

[Anonymous]

My kid, who isn't a morning person, is just NOW doing this at age 15. It's something we've been working on since he was 10.

I have a 12 yo DD who could do it at 8. In fact, several times she'd call me at work "mom, I'm leaving for school and DS still isn't up!"

What works for the non morning person is an annoying alarm set far enough away from his bed that he must get up to shut it off.

[Anonymous]

My 7th-grader does this now every day (except she walks to school, no bus). She did it on occasion during 6th grade, when I needed to be somewhere early and therefore left the house before 8 am. (The first time she was very worried about being late and ended up arriving at school 20 minutes before the doors opened.) This year she prefers to be in charge of her mornings. Looking back, I honestly don't think she could have pulled this off before, say, mid-way through 6th grade. Maybe earlier if there had been a need so we focused on it? She had some classmates who were getting themselves out the door and to school in 5th grade. But I think this is pretty child-dependent.

[Anonymous]

My 9th grader couldn’t do it, we are pushing very hard, like no phone if she turned off yet alarm and I have to wake her up..

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My son could do this at 6. He woke to an alarm clock, got his breakfast, watched cartoons while he ate, knew to check the clock so he would go out to the bus at the right time, and gave the baby (1 yr old) a bottle in her crib before he left. He would tell me he was leaving and give me a kiss goodbye. I was usually still sleeping.

Today's kids don't do this kind of thing in elementary school because their parents think they can't or they think it's child abuse if you encourage such independence and self-reliance.

My kids are grown now and they turned out great, I'm very proud of both of them.

You are the laziest mother ever.

+1,000,000!

You're both jealous.

[Anonymous]

My DD did this in 5th grade. I would wake her up for breakfast before I left the house, then she would finish getting packed and left the house on her own.

We put a light on a timer that turned blue when she needed to leave the house. Also installed a keyless lock. (It's an August, which sends me a notification when the door is unlocked/locked. This let me know she was on her way without having to micromanage her.)

She was home alone about 40 min each morning the whole year. Never had a problem - she is very responsible and organized.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My son could do this at 6. He woke to an alarm clock, got his breakfast, watched cartoons while he ate, knew to check the clock so he would go out to the bus at the right time, and gave the baby (1 yr old) a bottle in her crib before he left. He would tell me he was leaving and give me a kiss goodbye. I was usually still sleeping.

Today's kids don't do this kind of thing in elementary school because their parents think they can't or they think it's child abuse if you encourage such independence and self-reliance.

My kids are grown now and they turned out great, I'm very proud of both of them.

You are the laziest mother ever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That is a sad way to start the day. I say this as a single mom who has had to rush kids out the door for years. If you have the option of a college student staying with you, definitely go that route.

One of my kids could reliably get out the door by the beginning of 9th grade -- alarm, making lunch, etc. I would not expect an elementary school kid to do this. Even if they could, they could burn down the house, get abducted, leave the door unlocked, forget their key, etc. I realize it's from necessity but keep in mind that they still deserve to be taken care of.

Again, single mom myself who has turned down plenty of job options so I could be there at both ends of the day for my kids. They deserve it.

DP. It's great that you are able to afford having a job where you're home for both ends of the day. Not everyone can. For many, that would mean only a 5 and a half hour workday if you factor in commute time. Kids deserve to be taken care of and they deserve food and housing security, which comes from financial stability that a five hour per day job may not provide.

Also, to say it's a sad way to start the day is not the case for everyone. I had SACC before care for my DD and she begged me starting in fourth grade to let her stay home and take the bus in the mornings instead of going to SACC. When I finally relented, she was thrilled. If I ever mention she always had the option of going back to morning SACC, she says absolutely not. She's not allowed to use electrical appliances like the toaster or microwave when she's by herself. She has the number of trusted adults in the neighborhood who she could call in an emergency. I call and check on her multiple times in the morning and she knows if she misses the bus she should go back inside and I'll leave work to take her to school. She has never missed the bus. She's an independent kid who likes doing this. My older DS would not have liked this.

If OP's child is comfortable with doing this, with the right planning, no one needs to be sad or burn the house down. As far as being abducted, OP needs to be comfortable with the neighborhood, distance to the bus stop and whether other kids are also at the bus stop. She should teacher her kid about precautions to avoid abduction anyway, including not to go with anyone even if she knows them well. Teach a secret word that only someone really meant to get her would know. The rule I thought my kids, well before the getting themselves to the bus issue arose, is no adult should ever ask for help from a kid to find their dog, cat, missing toddler, for direction....Don't stop to talk or answer questions. These are basic lessons kid should know anyway.

OP, make sure your child would be comfortable doing this. If she is, then just make sure you go through all the details with her and come up with a plan she fully understands. Good luck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My son could do this at 6. He woke to an alarm clock, got his breakfast, watched cartoons while he ate, knew to check the clock so he would go out to the bus at the right time, and gave the baby (1 yr old) a bottle in her crib before he left. He would tell me he was leaving and give me a kiss goodbye. I was usually still sleeping.

Today's kids don't do this kind of thing in elementary school because their parents think they can't or they think it's child abuse if you encourage such independence and self-reliance.

My kids are grown now and they turned out great, I'm very proud of both of them.

You are the laziest mother ever.

+1,000,000!

Not enough +s on the planet. A cat is a better mother.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My son could do this at 6. He woke to an alarm clock, got his breakfast, watched cartoons while he ate, knew to check the clock so he would go out to the bus at the right time, and gave the baby (1 yr old) a bottle in her crib before he left. He would tell me he was leaving and give me a kiss goodbye. I was usually still sleeping.

Today's kids don't do this kind of thing in elementary school because their parents think they can't or they think it's child abuse if you encourage such independence and self-reliance.

My kids are grown now and they turned out great, I'm very proud of both of them.

This is just a tale of how kids can survive in abusive homes too. No, thanks for your self-oblivious horror story, Not a parenting hack but parenting by a hack!

OP - please ignore this poster. You are a single mom and that has some challenges but you are not really asking how to get wolves to raise your child, are you?

[Anonymous]

As PPs have said, it really depends on the kid. My oldest (in 11th grade and with ADHD/LD), can't reliably get himself up and out the door on time. It's something we've worked really hard on but he requires a lot of oversight. My middle kid (in 9th grade) could get herself up, ready and out the door on her own by 2nd grade. She's organized, inherently motivated and (sometimes overly) responsible. My youngest (in 8th grade and also with ADHD/LD) could do it by 5th grade.

Contrary to what a PP said about kids getting ready and out the door on their own, this is not a 'sad' situation unless you make it sad. It's only sad if you don't teach kids how to do it, give them the tools they need and the support they need to be successful. You're not doing this from a place of neglect but from necessity. Giving kids opportunities to be independent and self-sufficient is empowering and confidence-building. Heck, my kids wake me up when I oversleep. We learn each other's rhythms and support each other.

[Anonymous]

Kids can get up themselves with an alarm clock, get themselves ready for school at any age, but cannot be home alone until the age of 13
Before that you can leave them home alone when you go to the grocery store, but they should have before school and after school care
That is the law