Gender 'disappointment' - how do I get over this?

[Anonymous]

No. It is not all right to feel this way. You have so much to be grateful for and all you can do is whine and feel sorry for yourself because you don't have a son! You don't deserve the children you have and I am not suffering from infertility. You make me want to throw up.

[Anonymous]

I’m the opposite of you. I’m pregnant and I’d be devastated if it’s a boy. Boys don’t seem to care much about their families as they get older.

[Anonymous]

OP, you are very vulnerable now. Please just ignore the posters who are being mean.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m the opposite of you. I’m pregnant and I’d be devastated if it’s a boy. Boys don’t seem to care much about their families as they get older.

This is about how you raise your kids. My husband goes to his elderly parents' doctors appts because they don't process and remember things anymore. Raise your children to be good humans and you won't have the problem with them not caring about their families as they get older.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m the opposite of you. I’m pregnant and I’d be devastated if it’s a boy. Boys don’t seem to care much about their families as they get older.

Are you kidding - boys care the most. What is your background?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m the opposite of you. I’m pregnant and I’d be devastated if it’s a boy. Boys don’t seem to care much about their families as they get older.

Are you kidding - boys care the most. What is your background?

OMG you are both ridiculous. How much a child "cares" for their families as adults has nothing to do with their gender.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m the opposite of you. I’m pregnant and I’d be devastated if it’s a boy. Boys don’t seem to care much about their families as they get older.

True. They end spending more time with their wife’s family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m the opposite of you. I’m pregnant and I’d be devastated if it’s a boy. Boys don’t seem to care much about their families as they get older.

Are you kidding - boys care the most. What is your background?

OMG you are both ridiculous. How much a child "cares" for their families as adults has nothing to do with their gender.

Yes it does. Girls tend to stay closer to their mothers. They don’t want to hang around their husband’s mother.

[Anonymous]

I think you are going to enjoy having two daughters so close in age. They'll be best friends.

[Anonymous]

Look, you are in the slog right now with a toddler and a baby. This is the kind of crap you obsess over during that stage. In a few years, you’ll look back and laugh at yourself for being neurotic.

In the meantime, focus on enjoying the kids you have and maybe try to repair your relationship with your mom. Sounds like that rift it causing you grief and I bet that’s something you could actually change.

[Anonymous]

OP here.

Thank you so, so, so much for all of the supportive replies. I really didn't know what to expect when I posted - I felt like at worst, I would be attacked and left feeling worse than I started; at best I might get a few shallow niceties or ignored. But a lot of you gave me really thoughtful, helpful responses. Especially those of you with older kids and a better perspective on everything.

A few things said here have really resonated, and I am enormously grateful to you if you took time to reply. I think it will still be a process, and, like a lot of you said, something I need to 'grow out of' as I get out of this particularly tough phase of parenting. But I honestly feel better today than I have in weeks, so thank you. Sometimes you find help in the unlikeliest of places, even in an anonymous cesspool forum like this one

A theme in a lot of people's replies was that I do not have to repeat the patterns of my own mother with my daughters, and I have been thinking about that a lot. Last night I was reading my daughter stories at bedtime and doing funny voices, and I remembered that my mom once told me she doesn't "do" storytime, and never did. It's a little thing, but it just helped me realize that I am different than my mom, and my daughter is different from me. Our dynamic will be entirely different than ours was, for better or worse.

Thank you!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m the opposite of you. I’m pregnant and I’d be devastated if it’s a boy. Boys don’t seem to care much about their families as they get older.

Are you kidding - boys care the most. What is your background?

OMG you are both ridiculous. How much a child "cares" for their families as adults has nothing to do with their gender.

Yes it does. Girls tend to stay closer to their mothers. They don’t want to hang around their husband’s mother.

That’s not true.

Unfortunately some MIL’s are not welcoming and therefore no relationship. It’s not a one way street. Mothers if you want your sons to be attentive later teach them,

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here.

Thank you so, so, so much for all of the supportive replies. I really didn't know what to expect when I posted - I felt like at worst, I would be attacked and left feeling worse than I started; at best I might get a few shallow niceties or ignored. But a lot of you gave me really thoughtful, helpful responses. Especially those of you with older kids and a better perspective on everything.

A few things said here have really resonated, and I am enormously grateful to you if you took time to reply. I think it will still be a process, and, like a lot of you said, something I need to 'grow out of' as I get out of this particularly tough phase of parenting. But I honestly feel better today than I have in weeks, so thank you. Sometimes you find help in the unlikeliest of places, even in an anonymous cesspool forum like this one

A theme in a lot of people's replies was that I do not have to repeat the patterns of my own mother with my daughters, and I have been thinking about that a lot. Last night I was reading my daughter stories at bedtime and doing funny voices, and I remembered that my mom once told me she doesn't "do" storytime, and never did. It's a little thing, but it just helped me realize that I am different than my mom, and my daughter is different from me. Our dynamic will be entirely different than ours was, for better or worse.

Thank you!

Aw, thanks for the update OP. Glad you've been feeling better. Sometimes it helps just to get things off your chest and know you're not alone! Happy Thanksgiving

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m the opposite of you. I’m pregnant and I’d be devastated if it’s a boy. Boys don’t seem to care much about their families as they get older.

Are you kidding - boys care the most. What is your background?

OMG you are both ridiculous. How much a child "cares" for their families as adults has nothing to do with their gender.

Yes it does. Girls tend to stay closer to their mothers. They don’t want to hang around their husband’s mother.

My MIL will be here in a few hours and I can’t wait.