Strange presents

[Anonymous]

OP, what does your DH think of this? Was she always like this? And does she give similar gifts to others?

[Anonymous]

My MIL constantly gives me clothes. The clothes are usually in size XL or L, and tend to be things like crop tops.

I'm an almost 40-year-old CPA who prefers to be pretty covered up 100% of the time, both at the office and in my personal life. I don't even like wearing shorts. And I'm 5'3" and 110 lbs.

I always graciously say thank you but... just WHY?

[Anonymous]

Does this count?

My brother gave me a self-help book for my 40th birthday. The title wasn’t something we had discussed and it wasn’t related to anything I’ve expressed an interest in.

When I returned it to Amazon, I discovered it cost less than $7.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When my daughter was a teen, my aunt gave her a purity pendant.
(we are all Jewish)

Purity= no sex before marriage. Doesn't that work for Jews?

Are you guys southern? It’s just part of the culture there. I don’t think purity pledges are religion-specific.

[Anonymous]

I'm sorry OP. Your MIL seems a little off and probably showing some favoritism.

Is she by any chance very frugal? My grandma grew up very poor in the Great Depression and would give us gifts of things she had around the house. Some of them half used, never anything any of us kids actually wanted. She would save bows from gifts and reuse them. She was also just an off person with some mental issues. The open bag of marshmallows thing sounds like something she would have done.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When my daughter was a teen, my aunt gave her a purity pendant.
(we are all Jewish)

Purity= no sex before marriage. Doesn't that work for Jews?

Are you guys southern? It’s just part of the culture there. I don’t think purity pledges are religion-specific.

Oh yes they are! It's all part of the Christian alternative to sex education.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Purity_ring

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The no gifts thread prompted me to think about the really odd gifts that MIL comes up with every year. The worst was a find religion package that included a bible, a donation made in our name to a nearby church that she had researched on our behalf, a homemade invitation from Jesus inviting us to the church, and a bunch of oriental trading religious plastic toys and crafts. We are agnostic. This was not appreciated. When DD was born, the gift package was to me and included a scale. a used copy of the Scarsdale diet that she probably got a garage sale and a tape measure to help me get my figure back. This was not appreciated.

One year she tried canning but didn't hit the mark. The cans of jelly and preserves that we received had black stuff floating at the top. DH thinks it was a mistake, I'm still on the fence as to whether she was planning to take us out of the picture with poison jam. Other years the gifts have been less inappropriate but still weird. I always wondered who on earth bought things from the in flight magazine section from Toscana something with strange dragon and medieval decor. Well, we received a large stone gargoyle statue for our living room, some black candles and Harry Potter books because MIL heard this was what kids like now. The invitation to our house was for MIL to read Harry Potter to DD by candlelight next to the gargoyle for spooky nights. DD was 2 at the time and this would have given her nightmares for weeks.

The latest gift package included a dryer vent cleaner kit, fire extinguisher and s'more making things like marshmallows, chocolate bars and graham crackers. The graham cracker box was expired and the marshmallow bag had already been opened and closed with a rubber band. It also included an invitation to our house for more making and fire safety night. I guess we will be hosting them to clean the dryer vent together and then enjoy stale s'mores.

I don't really have a question because really what do you say when you get one of these lovely packages, let alone get them twice a year.

DH,DD and I all have birthdays in October so we get a creative package to the whole family every October and Christmas.

Love the combo of s’mores and fire extinguisher. That is hilarious.

[Anonymous]

What are you going to get her for Christmas or her next birthday?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:These are kind of funny! My parents babysit a couple times a month and will theme it for my kids. Last week's was "frozen night" with Frozen costumes, ice cream, frozen movie, frozen game and nail polish with frozen stickers. My toddler girls loved it. The week before was Toy story and they rented toy story 4, ate dinner with sporks and sang the songs. They try for a theme every time.

I think your MIL just wants to be invited over more? She does sound a bit crazy though. Her gifts are similar to ones we've received from hoarders or people who shop at thrift stores/Ollie's.

The sporks. Amazing. Your kids must love these nights.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This thread is in poor taste.

When I receive a present, I say "thank you.". Then if you don't want to keep it, donate it or throw it out.

Hello, MIL.

[Anonymous]

Stuffed toys belonging to nursing home residents that died.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

These are thoughtful gifts, yet the execution is just so inappropriate!

You should ask her where she gets her ideas and you should point out how each of them went wrong.

Oh, this will go over well.

When have you ever sat someone down and gone over where each of their gifts have gone wrong.

Because this goes beyond strange gift-giving and into mental illness territory. The ideas were fine, the execution points to problems with cognition. Having a conversation about them will inform OP on what the next step should be: either, MIL is borderline but essentially harmless and OP should just gently say that they would prefer more traditional presents (or not say anything at all and continue receiving similar gifts), or OP will have to get MIL to a doctor.

For example, if MIL has Asperger's, she will likely not be offended if OP says something. My relatives with Asperger's aren't sensitive to perceived judgement as much as you or I, PP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

These are thoughtful gifts, yet the execution is just so inappropriate!

You should ask her where she gets her ideas and you should point out how each of them went wrong.

Oh, this will go over well.

When have you ever sat someone down and gone over where each of their gifts have gone wrong.

Because this goes beyond strange gift-giving and into mental illness territory. The ideas were fine, the execution points to problems with cognition. Having a conversation about them will inform OP on what the next step should be: either, MIL is borderline but essentially harmless and OP should just gently say that they would prefer more traditional presents (or not say anything at all and continue receiving similar gifts), or OP will have to get MIL to a doctor.

For example, if MIL has Asperger's, she will likely not be offended if OP says something. My relatives with Asperger's aren't sensitive to perceived judgement as much as you or I, PP.

"Borderline"? "Mental illness territory?" Classic DCUM take from this PP: Any behavior that's not what you deem "normal" can be pathologized and interpreted as a diagnosable illness....

Look, the gifts are odd but not necessarily red flags unless there are other behaviors OP's not mentioning.

If the gifts were a real departure from what MIL had been doing for years previously, maybe they'd indicate something was going on with MIL. But OP gives zero indication that the gifts she describes are deviations from some more conventional norm for her MIL.

The MIL to me seems quirky and frankly pretty creative in her way. OP, accept graciously and tell her you'll take her up on the Harry Potter reading in about 10 years. Be kind because honestly, she's trying to be thoughtful. Or maybe your sense of humor doesn't mesh with hers and she's actually pranking you in her way while keeping her face straight--? (My mom would have found the s'mores plus fire extinguisher idea hilarious. I could see her doing that for laughs.) )

[Anonymous]

We see my FIL frequently. He sees me and my belongings. I'm very not girly. I haven't worn pink since elementary school. My purses are fabric boho style cross body bags. I often wear sneakers. My most stylish outfits are from Old Navy. I am a vegetarian. My FIL has given me: a hot pink and leopard print scarf, slippers with hot pink fluffy feathers (or something), and a furry cowhide wrist wallet. One year he told all of the women in the family he'd like to buy us fur coats for Christmas. I declined. I think his daughter had a talk with him about that idea, because nobody received a fur that year.

[Anonymous]

"Borderline"? "Mental illness territory?" Classic DCUM take from this PP: Any behavior that's not what you deem "normal" can be pathologized and interpreted as a diagnosable illness....

+ "Borderline"? "Mental illness territory?" Classic DCUM take from this PP: Any behavior that's not what you deem "normal" can be pathologized and interpreted as a diagnosable illness....