I have little kids, and I want to know what you all know now about phones and kids

[Anonymous]

Are you able to say no to your younger children? Are you able to stand firm when they whine for a toy at Target or a treat at McDonald’s or to play on your phone or run around restaurants or interrupt adults talking? Then you’ll be fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:One of the things that I'm glad that I did was to be consistent. It has made my life so much easier. DD is 13 now.
-I am logged into all of her social media accounts (Insta, youtube, tiktok, even etsy). If she changes a password, she gives me the new one or she gives up the phone.
-I randomly do a phone check (photos, texts, emails, etc.).
-We talk regularly about the different types of impacts that social media (and the internet in general) can have on us. Nothing is temporary, colleges & employers check, etc..

OP- one of the most important things is consistency and follow through. If you're not going to follow through with the parameters you set, you're in for a rough road because kids will capitalize on it. Commonsense Media will be your new best friend; they've done all the research for us. Also, urban dictionary is great for any unfamiliar lingo that pops up.

There are lots of phone monitoring apps also. DD has an iphone and the parental controls are good. She has to send me a request for any apps she'd like to download and their is a good internet filter. When DD was younger I removed all internet browsing capabilities from her phone.

I also once drove DD to friend's house to apologize in person for a mean comment that she texted. This helped her understand that there are real feelings on the other end of her phone.

Good luck, OP!

+1 My DS has had an iphone for over a year now (10, 5th). He is not "obsessed" with it and much prefers playing with his friends to texting, etc. It will probably change in middle school.
I feel like by allowing him access to technology it is not a "forbidden fruit" so to speak, so he doesnt crave it or try to get as much time as possible on it. Frankly to him the phone is a tool to be used to text and watch funny youtube videos. I do have parental controls on it, as well as all apps have to go through me. He is not allowed on true social media, but does have a youtube channel with funny videos and minecraft play videos (all approved). I spend about an hour a week randomly checking what he has been texting/watching and we constantly have talks about what not to do online and why it is important.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Put it off for as long as possible.

I sometimes hear parents use some silly excuse like “they need to learn now how to moderate themselves”. It’s pretty clear tweens and teens just cannot. Honestly most adults cannot. Just be the bad guy and hold off as long as you can.

mine did.

I have one who can and one who can’t. Same values. Same parents. Same rules.

Some kids really just can’t self regulate well. aDHD boys seems to be the worst.

I agree with you that some can’t. I just didn’t like the first poster’s statement that teens can’t. Some can.