Leaving kid overnight for first time

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m sorry, OP, but I do think you have big issues. You need to own your role in the co-sleeping. You’re letting it happen, so take responsibility for it. And you also need to own the fact that your child has no relationship with her dad. You say it’s all his fault but it sounds like you’ve done nothing but enable this behavior. Are you one of those people who really likes to be needed? I literally couldn’t believe your post as I was reading it. You have created an incredibly weird dynamic in your house where you have set yourself up as your daughter’s protector (against her own dad!), and you sound like you have sky-high anxiety, which is clearly manifesting itself in your daughter as well. I sincerely hope that things get better for you, because the situation you have gone on is not at all healthy for you or your daughter.

+1 I totally agree. I was the one who originally posted that OP has issues. Family therapy would be a good start.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You need to own that the co-sleeping is your choice. She will be fine without you, but it is time to stop thinking of yourself as such a savior and refuge for her. Let her grow up a little. She is going to kindergarten soon, and so on. You don't have an infant. She will be fine with her father. Do not drag her on two cross-country flights due to your own martyrdom!

Co-sleeping isn't the issue, I'd be concerned if she were sleeping in her own room, too. But thanks for the laugh, your response makes me seem very dramatic - savior/refuge/martyr - but I definitely am not these things or see myself as such!

It most definitively is one issue Bc you said she freaks out if the nanny has to put her to bed. You also said she doesn’t sleep as well when she co sleeps with her Dad. You have set it up so she has to do sleep with you, which is one of the reasons you are worried about leaving her overnight. If she slept in her own bed in her own room, anyone could successfully put her to bed.

+1

[Anonymous]

Maybe she doesn't turn to him because you are always butting in when he tries! He is her father!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Read “how not to hate your husband after kids.”

Husband's need a book on how not to hate wives after kids. Reading some of these posts and I understand the high divorce rate!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You need to own that the co-sleeping is your choice. She will be fine without you, but it is time to stop thinking of yourself as such a savior and refuge for her. Let her grow up a little. She is going to kindergarten soon, and so on. You don't have an infant. She will be fine with her father. Do not drag her on two cross-country flights due to your own martyrdom!

Co-sleeping isn't the issue, I'd be concerned if she were sleeping in her own room, too. But thanks for the laugh, your response makes me seem very dramatic - savior/refuge/martyr - but I definitely am not these things or see myself as such!

Lady-you’re talking about flying a four year old cross country twice in three days to avoid not being able to act as her woobie for the night. You should not be laughing!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You need to own that the co-sleeping is your choice. She will be fine without you, but it is time to stop thinking of yourself as such a savior and refuge for her. Let her grow up a little. She is going to kindergarten soon, and so on. You don't have an infant. She will be fine with her father. Do not drag her on two cross-country flights due to your own martyrdom!

Co-sleeping isn't the issue, I'd be concerned if she were sleeping in her own room, too. But thanks for the laugh, your response makes me seem very dramatic - savior/refuge/martyr - but I definitely am not these things or see myself as such!

Lady-you’re talking about flying a four year old cross country twice in three days to avoid not being able to act as her woobie for the night. You should not be laughing!

+1,000! I’ll say it again - OP has issues.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You need to own that the co-sleeping is your choice. She will be fine without you, but it is time to stop thinking of yourself as such a savior and refuge for her. Let her grow up a little. She is going to kindergarten soon, and so on. You don't have an infant. She will be fine with her father. Do not drag her on two cross-country flights due to your own martyrdom!

Co-sleeping isn't the issue, I'd be concerned if she were sleeping in her own room, too. But thanks for the laugh, your response makes me seem very dramatic - savior/refuge/martyr - but I definitely am not these things or see myself as such!

Lady-you’re talking about flying a four year old cross country twice in three days to avoid not being able to act as her woobie for the night. You should not be laughing!

Right?!?

[Anonymous]

OP disappeared. Interesting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP disappeared. Interesting.

Maybe because these posts have been mean and unhelpful?

People here are so quick to judge before knowing all the facts.

[Anonymous]

I traveled a fair amount when my 3 kids were very young and while I certainly missed them and worried about them I relied on my husband and nanny to take care of everything. If can’t trust your husband and nanny to handle things you don’t have the right husband and nanny or, more likely, you just don’t believe that anyone but you can raise your child.

[Anonymous]

Haha - I loved my infrequent one or two night business trips! Room service and a good nights sleep were heavenly. But I had a great husband and a nanny and I just never worried about it.....except once. We had a new nanny who wasn’t working out and my husband fired her one evening on the spot (long story) while I was on the west coast. I was in tears after he called me but with the help of a neighbor everything was fine until I made it home.