Have you ever made your wife cry?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Made her cry? Like, intentionally? If she cries, that's on her.

Well, we found a husband who doesn't think it is a big deal to make his wife cry. Doesn't sound guilty at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, he made me cry. We were both dealing with a stillbirth. I was grieving and had serious hormonal stuff on top of all that. He was dealing with it by trying to not grieve and use logic to make me feel better. There were tears, lots of tears because of the horrible logical unfeeling things he was saying.

he was trying to help you. it's a terrible thing to go thru but i wouldn't put this on HIM.

I wasn't saying it was intentional. But after the 5th time you've made your wife cry, you'd think he'd learn. It took a gigantic blow up fight for him to understand what I needed.

Looking back, you still think he deserved it?

Do you mean did we need to have the gigantic blow up fight. No I don't think a fight was necessary. But after being very clear what I needed "Just hold me while I cry" and him telling my all the logical reasons that I didn't need to cry and crying was just making me feel bad and it was illogical to do something that made you feel bad, Yes, we needed it. And Yes he deserved it. I'm not one to make my husband guess what I needed. I told him. I told him while calm. I told him while I was upset. I told him. He was trying to convince me that it wasn't what I needed. And if I just did it his way I wouldn't feel sad anymore.

And I was a mess for about 2 months and got through the worst of it. DH's grief came out at weird times over the next couple of years and he'd take it out on me. And 4 years later, he still can't talk about it without getting upset. So his strategy of just not dealing with it has just dragged out the grieving process.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, he made me cry. We were both dealing with a stillbirth. I was grieving and had serious hormonal stuff on top of all that. He was dealing with it by trying to not grieve and use logic to make me feel better. There were tears, lots of tears because of the horrible logical unfeeling things he was saying.

he was trying to help you. it's a terrible thing to go thru but i wouldn't put this on HIM.

I wasn't saying it was intentional. But after the 5th time you've made your wife cry, you'd think he'd learn. It took a gigantic blow up fight for him to understand what I needed.

Looking back, you still think he deserved it?

Do you mean did we need to have the gigantic blow up fight. No I don't think a fight was necessary. But after being very clear what I needed "Just hold me while I cry" and him telling my all the logical reasons that I didn't need to cry and crying was just making me feel bad and it was illogical to do something that made you feel bad, Yes, we needed it. And Yes he deserved it. I'm not one to make my husband guess what I needed. I told him. I told him while calm. I told him while I was upset. I told him. He was trying to convince me that it wasn't what I needed. And if I just did it his way I wouldn't feel sad anymore.

And I was a mess for about 2 months and got through the worst of it. DH's grief came out at weird times over the next couple of years and he'd take it out on me. And 4 years later, he still can't talk about it without getting upset. So his strategy of just not dealing with it has just dragged out the grieving process.

You didn't give him chance to grieve. You made it all about you and only you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, he made me cry. We were both dealing with a stillbirth. I was grieving and had serious hormonal stuff on top of all that. He was dealing with it by trying to not grieve and use logic to make me feel better. There were tears, lots of tears because of the horrible logical unfeeling things he was saying.

he was trying to help you. it's a terrible thing to go thru but i wouldn't put this on HIM.

I wasn't saying it was intentional. But after the 5th time you've made your wife cry, you'd think he'd learn. It took a gigantic blow up fight for him to understand what I needed.

Looking back, you still think he deserved it?

Do you mean did we need to have the gigantic blow up fight. No I don't think a fight was necessary. But after being very clear what I needed "Just hold me while I cry" and him telling my all the logical reasons that I didn't need to cry and crying was just making me feel bad and it was illogical to do something that made you feel bad, Yes, we needed it. And Yes he deserved it. I'm not one to make my husband guess what I needed. I told him. I told him while calm. I told him while I was upset. I told him. He was trying to convince me that it wasn't what I needed. And if I just did it his way I wouldn't feel sad anymore.

And I was a mess for about 2 months and got through the worst of it. DH's grief came out at weird times over the next couple of years and he'd take it out on me. And 4 years later, he still can't talk about it without getting upset. So his strategy of just not dealing with it has just dragged out the grieving process.

You didn't give him chance to grieve. You made it all about you and only you.

I have no idea why I'm engaging in this with you. I did give him a chance to grieve. But he didn't think grieving was necessary because he logically thought of all the reasons being sad and grieving was unnecessary. He wanted the entire experience to be done and over like a week after it happened. And to never talk about it again. I would've welcomed him grieving. I would have felt less alone while going through it.

[Anonymous]

She cried when we had our first born and I'm pretty sure I had something to do with it. Other than that I can't recall ever making her cry but she may have behind closed doors but unlikely. We've never had a big fight and I've never done anything like cheating.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’ve heard men saying the worse thing they can do is to cause their wife to cry because of them. Apparently, it’s heartbreaking for men.

Just curious to hear from the men here, if they’ve ever made their poor wives cry? Did it break your heart seeing her cry because of you? How did you make things better afterwards?

Sorry, dumb comment.

Don't cry...

[Anonymous]

We are both criers.

[Anonymous]

I'd like to say it was the first time she saw me naked but I can not tell a lie! But I don't think she laughed either since she married me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'd like to say it was the first time she saw me naked but I can not tell a lie! But I don't think she laughed either since she married me.

Thank you for making me laugh!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most men are so weak and fearful of confrontation that they couldn't make their wives cry.

So, husbands who care are considered weak and fearful of confrontation? You like "beat the sh*t out of wife" type?

That type is vanishingly rare among DCUM readers. DCUM husbands are overwhelmingly the "walking on eggshells" type.

Link please?

www.dcurbanmom.com

[Anonymous]

The title of your post made me do a double take. My DH made me cry SO many times. We are divorced.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most men are so weak and fearful of confrontation that they couldn't make their wives cry.

So, husbands who care are considered weak and fearful of confrontation? You like "beat the sh*t out of wife" type?

That type is vanishingly rare among DCUM readers. DCUM husbands are overwhelmingly the "walking on eggshells" type.

Terrible generalization. You are a sexist.

[Anonymous]

I found I had to spank her for a very long time to get tears. She enjoyed it as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I found I had to spank her for a very long time to get tears. She enjoyed it as well.

Same here.. And I'm glad we discussed it before so I knew not to stop spanking once the tears started. It was quite an emotional release for her that she asks for now and then.

[Anonymous]

If you haven't, you just aren't trying.