How to nicely say no siblings for party?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hate when parents do this, but I understand. If you are going to do this, expect parents will drop off and won't stay. If going to a child's birthday party is going to require me getting a babysitter, we won't be going.

Here’s the thing. Even if they don’t explicitly say they’re excluding siblings when they invite one of your children to a party, they’re still not inviting siblings. It’s because people show up with uninvited guests that hosts have had to start spelling it out. Leaving off “no siblings” doesn’t mean “siblings welcome.” If it says “siblings welcome” feel free to bring them all. That, or listing everyone by name, is how you know it’s ok to bring all your kids.

Preach it!

I know. An invitation addressed to one child doesn’t automatically include others unless specified on the invitation. Have people forgotten basic etiquette?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I hate when parents do this, but I understand. If you are going to do this, expect parents will drop off and won't stay. If going to a child's birthday party is going to require me getting a babysitter, we won't be going.

Do you have a partner who can watch the other child? I'm flummoxed when people bring uninvited siblings AND the other parent to the party...

[Anonymous]

This is OP -- thanks all. We just put "we can't accommodate siblings. Thank you for your understanding." Hopefully that gets the message across. I do feel bad about it -- there's one family with three girls that my daughter plays with, but mostly just with the one closest to her age (who she asked to invite)... there are also several kids in her class with infant siblings who aren't allowed to play at the venue we're going to...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:First year we're hosting kid's birthday at an outside venue. Venue charges per head and caps at 20 kids. How do I nicely say on the invite that we can't accommodate siblings within good etiquette?

Why do you have to be nice? Just be matter-of-fact. No etiquette book in the world endorses people inviting themselves to a party.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"Due to space restrictions at the venue, we regret that we cannot accommodate any siblings." And if you want to and the kids are old enough, you can add "Please feel free to drop-off for the party."

Something like this or the first suggestion. I like the explanation for the no siblings because people will understand why the policy is in play. Sometimes I think people ignore the no sibling because they don't get why it is there, other then you asked for no siblings. We have friends who have twins and were surprised to get the no siblings invite, normally both the boys are invited because they both know the child, but that has started to change. I think it is nice when the parents explain why because it allows you to say to the other kid "there are space limits and Johnny does not know you like he knows your brother. I'll take brother, what do you want to do with Dad?"

I guess I find just "no siblings" a bit cold.

But everything you send about the party needs to include the reminder of no siblings.

Just make up this part, the kid won't know.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:First year we're hosting kid's birthday at an outside venue. Venue charges per head and caps at 20 kids. How do I nicely say on the invite that we can't accommodate siblings within good etiquette?

"No siblings.". Beginning and end.

This is fine, but it’s not particularly nice.

It’s not particularly nice to bring uninvited guests to a party and make people tell you it’s not allowed. That’s like saying it’s not nice to ask someone not to take $20 out of your purse or that you can’t drop off your kid for a play date without asking first.

I wouldn’t offer an explanation. Explanations open you up to argument. There’s a cap? But it’s just one child. It costs more? We’ll cover the cost (and maybe they will, but maybe they’ll forget). It’s not age appropriate? Larlo loves playing with his younger sister’s friends. Or Larla can help show the younger kids how to do it.

Less is more. No siblings. I wouldn’t even say please. If that’s too curt, maybe “siblings can’t be accommodated.” Don’t apologize though, because you didn’t do anything wrong.

This is a great rule to live by in general.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is OP -- thanks all. We just put "we can't accommodate siblings. Thank you for your understanding." Hopefully that gets the message across. I do feel bad about it -- there's one family with three girls that my daughter plays with, but mostly just with the one closest to her age (who she asked to invite)... there are also several kids in her class with infant siblings who aren't allowed to play at the venue we're going to...

I have no skin in this fight (I have a 1.5 yr old and have yet to throw a party for him) but I think that if the kid plays with ALL the siblings, then you can invite all the siblings as invited guests. This is different from a random classmate your kid barely speaks to showing up with his little sister in tow because the family only does "family time" on weekends. Maybe some random parent who sees a whole family show up might be a little miffed they had to leave their other kid at home, but that's not really your problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I hate when parents do this, but I understand. If you are going to do this, expect parents will drop off and won't stay. If going to a child's birthday party is going to require me getting a babysitter, we won't be going.

Sounds like it's better for everyone if you don't come...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I hate when parents do this, but I understand. If you are going to do this, expect parents will drop off and won't stay. If going to a child's birthday party is going to require me getting a babysitter, we won't be going.

Why should older or younger siblings be expected to be invited? It’s a life lesson.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would print something like, “No siblings please,” on the invitations.

This.
Nothing more, nothing less. Done.

This. The less words the better or the message gets lost.

Fewer words.

Unneccesary and obnoxious.

[Anonymous]

We had a party at a trampoline place and said ‘no siblings please’ on the invite. What did one mother do? She showed up pregnant, which counts as a sibling! It all worked out in the end because we had her arrested.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is OP -- thanks all. We just put "we can't accommodate siblings. Thank you for your understanding." Hopefully that gets the message across. I do feel bad about it -- there's one family with three girls that my daughter plays with, but mostly just with the one closest to her age (who she asked to invite)... there are also several kids in her class with infant siblings who aren't allowed to play at the venue we're going to...

I have no skin in this fight (I have a 1.5 yr old and have yet to throw a party for him) but I think that if the kid plays with ALL the siblings, then you can invite all the siblings as invited guests. This is different from a random classmate your kid barely speaks to showing up with his little sister in tow because the family only does "family time" on weekends. Maybe some random parent who sees a whole family show up might be a little miffed they had to leave their other kid at home, but that's not really your problem.

I agree. We invited both neighborhood friends and school friends to birthday parties and we will happily invite the siblings of the neighborhood friends because our kids know them all but I don't want Johnny's brother who is four years older and has never met my children coming to the party if space is an issue. I have twins, so I often have to clarify when I get evites addressed only to me which of the kids are invited (some of the kids have been in both of their classes over the years and some kids invite both full classes to their parties), but if I had an older kid I would never even wonder if they had been invited because they wouldn't know the birthday kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is OP -- thanks all. We just put "we can't accommodate siblings. Thank you for your understanding." Hopefully that gets the message across. I do feel bad about it -- there's one family with three girls that my daughter plays with, but mostly just with the one closest to her age (who she asked to invite)... there are also several kids in her class with infant siblings who aren't allowed to play at the venue we're going to...

I have no skin in this fight (I have a 1.5 yr old and have yet to throw a party for him) but I think that if the kid plays with ALL the siblings, then you can invite all the siblings as invited guests. This is different from a random classmate your kid barely speaks to showing up with his little sister in tow because the family only does "family time" on weekends. Maybe some random parent who sees a whole family show up might be a little miffed they had to leave their other kid at home, but that's not really your problem.

You’re the problem. If she invites your special family she has to invite EVERYONES special family then she has 30+ people to manage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Years ago, we had a MyGym party and had written No siblings please on the invitation cards (no evites). I still remember one mom picking up the card from the cubby and giving it to her older child who had come along to pick up the younger one (who was in my kid's class in preschool). The older one after opening it right there said "Whaaat? No siblings" and pouted and the mom shook her head and all of them walked off. They did not come for my kid's birthday party either.

I had chosen a package for 20 kids and we reached that limit. I would have gone out of my way if it was child's close friend but not for classmates.

She could have just as easily been shaking her head in disgust at the kid's whining, not your invite. And there are a million other reasons she might have declined. Even if it was because of the no siblings, she might not have been upset at you. I was solo last weekend and watching both kids. If the younger one, who is too young for drop off, had a no siblings party I would have to decline because I had to also be with my older kid. That's life, but I'd still think the no sibling invite was fine.