DISCUSS: Okay for parent to open bank account for child without consulting spouse?

[Anonymous]

If this is pissing you off, you really need to evaluate your marriage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If my husband opened a bank account without speaking with me first (even if it’s for our kids) he’d be sleeping on the couch for a month. Parents don’t make those types of decisions without talking about it. For those saying it’s “no big deal” you clearly have bad marriage communication.

All decisions regarding kids should be talked about between both parents.

So, your husband can't open a bank account without your permission, but you can make him sleep on the couch? Yeah, ok.

[Anonymous]

The problem is most replies here are based on the poster’s OWN marriage. So if a wife hates her husband they’ll respond as if the situation occurred in their marriage.

Overall, yes I’d be slightly upset my spouse didn’t talk to me about opening a bank account. That’s not a small matter and it impacts taxes. And for the poster who said “we don’t have time to talk about every little thing in our kid’s lives”. I feel sorry if you think school, money, and extra curricular activities is too much to discuss. Really. My spouse and I discuss it and it takes 10-15 minutes. Not difficult or time consuming.

[Anonymous]

I’m trying to understand what the negative about opening a bank account for the child is?

OP, is your DH more financially literate than you are? I could see this happening in our house. That being said, I’ve made lots of decisions without DH about the things that I’m more literate about. I didn’t check if avocado or cereal should be her first food. I didn’t check if it was “time” to potty train, I just did it.

He’s currently setting up the jumpoline with her, and didn’t ask me.

To me, teamwork is knowing that you are moving in the same direction, and shouldn’t require needing discussion and permission/validation on any little thing. I’m assuming as you’re married and have a child, you’re on the same page for most things. You have to trust your partner to do the right things for your child, or you have deeper issues.

Do you think your DH is going to do something u toward with this bank account? Like funnel money to an illegal cause or something?

[Anonymous]

Not really a big deal, unless it's to launder money or something. I assume the non-opening spouse was told soon afterward?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If my husband opened a bank account without speaking with me first (even if it’s for our kids) he’d be sleeping on the couch for a month. Parents don’t make those types of decisions without talking about it. For those saying it’s “no big deal” you clearly have bad marriage communication.

All decisions regarding kids should be talked about between both parents.

So, your husband can't open a bank account without your permission, but you can make him sleep on the couch? Yeah, ok.

You love to read what you WANT instead of the actual text don’t you? Does my post mention ANYTHING about permission? No. What does it mention? Come on. You can do it. READ. It says “speaking”. Know what “speaking” means? That does not mean asking for permission. What type of horrific relationship do you have? Our kids have savings accounts and we discussed opening them before my husband went to the bank.

What is wrong with you people? The hatred is so real. Sorry for your unhappy lives. This place has become so toxic and gets worse year and year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If my husband opened a bank account without speaking with me first (even if it’s for our kids) he’d be sleeping on the couch for a month. Parents don’t make those types of decisions without talking about it. For those saying it’s “no big deal” you clearly have bad marriage communication.

All decisions regarding kids should be talked about between both parents.

So, your husband can't open a bank account without your permission, but you can make him sleep on the couch? Yeah, ok.

You love to read what you WANT instead of the actual text don’t you? Does my post mention ANYTHING about permission? No. What does it mention? Come on. You can do it. READ. It says “speaking”. Know what “speaking” means? That does not mean asking for permission. What type of horrific relationship do you have? Our kids have savings accounts and we discussed opening them before my husband went to the bank.

What is wrong with you people? The hatred is so real. Sorry for your unhappy lives. This place has become [i]so toxic and gets worse [b]year and year.

DP, but reread your own post. How do you unilaterally get to decide that your husband gets to sleep on the couch for something you don’t agree with? Is that a good example of communication?

Good communications doesn’t have to involve discussing minutiae, although it can. In my relationship, I know that DH and I agree on all major issues. We both have our family’s best interests in mind. We have great communication, and thus, don’t need to communicate on every thing. Aside from communication, we have trust that the other person is making decisions based on our common goals for our family.

[Anonymous]

The OP just abandoned this thread and hasn’t provided the key factor - how’d they find out?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not really a big deal, unless it's to launder money or something. I assume the non-opening spouse was told soon afterward?

This.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If my husband opened a bank account without speaking with me first (even if it’s for our kids) he’d be sleeping on the couch for a month. Parents don’t make those types of decisions without talking about it. For those saying it’s “no big deal” you clearly have bad marriage communication.

All decisions regarding kids should be talked about between both parents.

So, your husband can't open a bank account without your permission, but you can make him sleep on the couch? Yeah, ok.

You love to read what you WANT instead of the actual text don’t you? Does my post mention ANYTHING about permission? No. What does it mention? Come on. You can do it. READ. It says “speaking”. Know what “speaking” means? That does not mean asking for permission. What type of horrific relationship do you have? Our kids have savings accounts and we discussed opening them before my husband went to the bank.

What is wrong with you people? The hatred is so real. Sorry for your unhappy lives. This place has become so toxic and gets worse year and year.

Lol. Everyone else is toxic.

[Anonymous]

I think it's ok.

I did it. My spouse was travelling internationally for work at the time and it was difficult to communicate. Our credit union was offering a promotion where if you referred a new member, they got a $50 bonus and you got a $50 bonus. So I opened accounts for my two kids, for a total of $200 for our family.

It didn't really occur to me that my spouse would mind; I mean, it was $200 in "free money" and we would probably eventually open them an account anyway.

Anyway, that was at least ten years ago, so he (my spouse) has known about it for years and he never expressed that he was bothered by it.

[Anonymous]

The bank allowed one parent to do it. It was legally sufficient. Done.

[Anonymous]

I opened a bank account for our daughter without discussing it with my husband. He thanked me for taking care of it. I also set up the 529 plan a zillion years ago and didn’t talk to him about it. He appreciates me taking care of the details.

[Anonymous]

I opened a bank account for my toddler as well as a 529 plan. Both our names are on the accounts. I told my husband about it when he got home from work. I handle the day-to-day cash flow in our house so it wasn't a big deal. For others this might be a big deal or s sign that the spouse is trying to hide something especially if he/she did not tell the other spouse and the account is only in 1 parent's name.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:All decisions for children should be discussed with both parents. Camps, school, money, etc. If I signed up my kids for a camp without telling my spouse...that wouldn't go over well. It's just respect. Even if it's just an FYI. The people saying it's no big deal are not thinking straight. You don't open a bank account without telling your spouse. That's fishy.

Bad marriage communication? You do t exactly seem like the model for marital harmony with the couch for a month plan. It’s a bank account. What can you even do with it when you’re 7? Save $50?