What does your middle school-er do after school lets out?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am mentally struggling with leaving middle schoolers unsupervised for long stretches of time. Of course they are CAPABLE of being alone . . . but aren't folks worried about the trouble they can get into? All I know is that I got drunk for the first time at 12 - walking home with a big group from middle school - one of the kids shoplifted a bottle of rum and we passed it around (I only had a teeny amount but that was enough!). MANY other times walking home from middle school we would shoplift from Safeway. Lots of kids would stop and smoke pot. I used to sneak out of the house at night. This was an upper middle class school/neighborhood. My parents had NO CLUE and I was a straight A student.

Maybe everyone on here was a good kid and can't imagine/doesn't remember the stuff you got up to? Maybe kids need to sneak around and do bad stuff as part of a maturing/growing up process?

You did stuff while walking home from school when you were in middle school, and so therefore parents now shouldn't let middle-schoolers stay home after school by themselves? I don't get it. I mean, if you were saying that parents shouldn't let middle-schoolers walk home from school because they might get up to stuff like you did in middle school - but that's not what you're saying.

For what it's worth, here are some things I did on my walk home from middle school:

1. Walked home (most days)
2. Walked to the drug store and looked at make-up, then took the city bus home
3. Walked to the mall and looked at tops, then took the city bus home
4. Walked to the public library and checked out books

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am mentally struggling with leaving middle schoolers unsupervised for long stretches of time. Of course they are CAPABLE of being alone . . . but aren't folks worried about the trouble they can get into? All I know is that I got drunk for the first time at 12 - walking home with a big group from middle school - one of the kids shoplifted a bottle of rum and we passed it around (I only had a teeny amount but that was enough!). MANY other times walking home from middle school we would shoplift from Safeway. Lots of kids would stop and smoke pot. I used to sneak out of the house at night. This was an upper middle class school/neighborhood. My parents had NO CLUE and I was a straight A student.

Maybe everyone on here was a good kid and can't imagine/doesn't remember the stuff you got up to? Maybe kids need to sneak around and do bad stuff as part of a maturing/growing up process?

Hahha, yes, I suppose times are different. I cannot imagine my almost 12 year old getting drunk or smoking pot. She still plays with dolls most days!!! Lol

Your kid might not; but his/her friends might. Honestly parents, let's not be naive like some of our parents back in the day. This naivety is what resulted in a couple of girls getting pregnant at my junior high. THis stuff still happens.

[Anonymous]

OP - another idea is to hire an after school nanny and that person can watch your younger kids and this new middle school kid - you eliminate the after care for the younger and pay one price for all the kids. That person could supervise and drive any kids to activities and be supervision for a new kid that you maybe don't know that well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am mentally struggling with leaving middle schoolers unsupervised for long stretches of time. Of course they are CAPABLE of being alone . . . but aren't folks worried about the trouble they can get into? All I know is that I got drunk for the first time at 12 - walking home with a big group from middle school - one of the kids shoplifted a bottle of rum and we passed it around (I only had a teeny amount but that was enough!). MANY other times walking home from middle school we would shoplift from Safeway. Lots of kids would stop and smoke pot. I used to sneak out of the house at night. This was an upper middle class school/neighborhood. My parents had NO CLUE and I was a straight A student.

Maybe everyone on here was a good kid and can't imagine/doesn't remember the stuff you got up to? Maybe kids need to sneak around and do bad stuff as part of a maturing/growing up process?

Hahha, yes, I suppose times are different. I cannot imagine my almost 12 year old getting drunk or smoking pot. She still plays with dolls most days!!! Lol

so does my 12 year old -- but I assume that is going to change soon. Sigh.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am mentally struggling with leaving middle schoolers unsupervised for long stretches of time. Of course they are CAPABLE of being alone . . . but aren't folks worried about the trouble they can get into? All I know is that I got drunk for the first time at 12 - walking home with a big group from middle school - one of the kids shoplifted a bottle of rum and we passed it around (I only had a teeny amount but that was enough!). MANY other times walking home from middle school we would shoplift from Safeway. Lots of kids would stop and smoke pot. I used to sneak out of the house at night. This was an upper middle class school/neighborhood. My parents had NO CLUE and I was a straight A student.

Maybe everyone on here was a good kid and can't imagine/doesn't remember the stuff you got up to? Maybe kids need to sneak around and do bad stuff as part of a maturing/growing up process?

This. And back in my day, it was actually Junior High School which started in 7th grade. I just remember that time was the time that kids started experimenting. I don't feel comfortable leaving my kid at home by herself (or with her friends unsupervised) at age 11 not only because of this; but because she's uncomfortable staying at home by herself at this stage (she's young for her grade).

Stop the HELICOPTERING. Are you going off to college with them too. I hear kids do bad things at college too. Maybe if you are their roommate, they won't ever do anything?

No one is saying leave your kids all night, but EVERY single kid in middle school is capable of coming home and doing HW for a few hours. And yes, they should have down time with their friends without a Mommy up their ass all the time. Most kids are not drinking and having sex. Give them $10-20 a day for doing a few chores and getting dinner ready. Much cheaper than any clubs or care you are looking at, and it will give the kids something to strive for and be responsible for. And it helps you when you get home after work. Show up early now and then. See how things are going. But stop the smother mother act.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am mentally struggling with leaving middle schoolers unsupervised for long stretches of time. Of course they are CAPABLE of being alone . . . but aren't folks worried about the trouble they can get into? All I know is that I got drunk for the first time at 12 - walking home with a big group from middle school - one of the kids shoplifted a bottle of rum and we passed it around (I only had a teeny amount but that was enough!). MANY other times walking home from middle school we would shoplift from Safeway. Lots of kids would stop and smoke pot. I used to sneak out of the house at night. This was an upper middle class school/neighborhood. My parents had NO CLUE and I was a straight A student.

Maybe everyone on here was a good kid and can't imagine/doesn't remember the stuff you got up to? Maybe kids need to sneak around and do bad stuff as part of a maturing/growing up process?

Hahha, yes, I suppose times are different. I cannot imagine my almost 12 year old getting drunk or smoking pot. She still plays with dolls most days!!! Lol

Your kid might not; but his/her friends might. Honestly parents, let's not be naive like some of our parents back in the day. This naivety is what resulted in a couple of girls getting pregnant at my junior high. THis stuff still happens.

Nope, not if you actually parent your kids. Your job isn't to follow them around and keep tabs on them. Your job is to teach them, show them, explain consequences of behaviors, etc... Giving them a house to come home to after school doesn't equal sex and drugs. Give me a break. You are nuts. Many parents don't see their kids 24/7, or parent them, or care what happens to them. This is not that case. Kids are babysitting at age 13 and you are all talking about getting nannies for middle schoolers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am mentally struggling with leaving middle schoolers unsupervised for long stretches of time. Of course they are CAPABLE of being alone . . . but aren't folks worried about the trouble they can get into? All I know is that I got drunk for the first time at 12 - walking home with a big group from middle school - one of the kids shoplifted a bottle of rum and we passed it around (I only had a teeny amount but that was enough!). MANY other times walking home from middle school we would shoplift from Safeway. Lots of kids would stop and smoke pot. I used to sneak out of the house at night. This was an upper middle class school/neighborhood. My parents had NO CLUE and I was a straight A student.

Maybe everyone on here was a good kid and can't imagine/doesn't remember the stuff you got up to? Maybe kids need to sneak around and do bad stuff as part of a maturing/growing up process?

Hahha, yes, I suppose times are different. I cannot imagine my almost 12 year old getting drunk or smoking pot. She still plays with dolls most days!!! Lol

Your kid might not; but his/her friends might. Honestly parents, let's not be naive like some of our parents back in the day. This naivety is what resulted in a couple of girls getting pregnant at my junior high. THis stuff still happens.

Nope, not if you actually parent your kids. Your job isn't to follow them around and keep tabs on them. Your job is to teach them, show them, explain consequences of behaviors, etc... Giving them a house to come home to after school doesn't equal sex and drugs. Give me a break. You are nuts. Many parents don't see their kids 24/7, or parent them, or care what happens to them. This is not that case. Kids are babysitting at age 13 and you are all talking about getting nannies for middle schoolers.

+1

Complete nonsense. If you don't trust your middle schooler for whatever reason, fine. But most parents do and most kids are capable to be responsible. It is also stress relieving to learn to do things on your own. The anxiety levels of kids are insane lately and it has to do with parents not instilling confidence in their kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am mentally struggling with leaving middle schoolers unsupervised for long stretches of time. Of course they are CAPABLE of being alone . . . but aren't folks worried about the trouble they can get into? All I know is that I got drunk for the first time at 12 - walking home with a big group from middle school - one of the kids shoplifted a bottle of rum and we passed it around (I only had a teeny amount but that was enough!). MANY other times walking home from middle school we would shoplift from Safeway. Lots of kids would stop and smoke pot. I used to sneak out of the house at night. This was an upper middle class school/neighborhood. My parents had NO CLUE and I was a straight A student.

Maybe everyone on here was a good kid and can't imagine/doesn't remember the stuff you got up to? Maybe kids need to sneak around and do bad stuff as part of a maturing/growing up process?

Hahha, yes, I suppose times are different. I cannot imagine my almost 12 year old getting drunk or smoking pot. She still plays with dolls most days!!! Lol

Your kid might not; but his/her friends might. Honestly parents, let's not be naive like some of our parents back in the day. This naivety is what resulted in a couple of girls getting pregnant at my junior high. THis stuff still happens.

Uh...this just doesn’t happen in my world, for middle schoolers. So it’s not something I consider when I leave my middle schooler alone after school. More likely, she would read, eat a snack, scroll through her friend, make crafts, play dolls.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Comes home, does homework. Or has a friend over or goes to a friend’s. Plus clubs sometimes after school.

+1 Some videogames to decompress, then homework, then instrument practice, then reading or playing in the immediate neighborhood with friends, by which point one of us is usually home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Comes home, does homework. Or has a friend over or goes to a friend’s. Plus clubs sometimes after school.

+1 Some videogames to decompress, then homework, then instrument practice, then reading or playing in the immediate neighborhood with friends, by which point one of us is usually home.

^^ he texts me when HW is done and, if he leaves the house, to tell me exactly where he is/what he's doing.

[Anonymous]

I have 2 in middle schools and 1 in High School and here is the "after school procedure we have used since elementary school:

Get something to eat
do you chores
do you homework
Once chore and HW is complete they can use electronics.

When I get home I check HW for completion and accuracy and inspect chores. If either is not up to MY STANDARDS, electronics privileges will get revoked. Over the years I have revoked these privileges too many time to remember. But now its just part of their daily routine and they do it without me asking. Consistency is the key.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have 2 in middle schools and 1 in High School and here is the "after school procedure we have used since elementary school:

Get something to eat
do you chores
do you homework
Once chore and HW is complete they can use electronics.

When I get home I check HW for completion and accuracy and inspect chores. If either is not up to MY STANDARDS, electronics privileges will get revoked. Over the years I have revoked these privileges too many time to remember. But now its just part of their daily routine and they do it without me asking. Consistency is the key.

Sounds pleasant

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have 2 in middle schools and 1 in High School and here is the "after school procedure we have used since elementary school:

Get something to eat
do you chores
do you homework
Once chore and HW is complete they can use electronics.

When I get home I check HW for completion and accuracy and inspect chores. If either is not up to MY STANDARDS, electronics privileges will get revoked. Over the years I have revoked these privileges too many time to remember. But now its just part of their daily routine and they do it without me asking. Consistency is the key.

Sounds pleasant

Sounds like instilling good habits and raising a responsible child imo.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am mentally struggling with leaving middle schoolers unsupervised for long stretches of time. Of course they are CAPABLE of being alone . . . but aren't folks worried about the trouble they can get into? All I know is that I got drunk for the first time at 12 - walking home with a big group from middle school - one of the kids shoplifted a bottle of rum and we passed it around (I only had a teeny amount but that was enough!). MANY other times walking home from middle school we would shoplift from Safeway. Lots of kids would stop and smoke pot. I used to sneak out of the house at night. This was an upper middle class school/neighborhood. My parents had NO CLUE and I was a straight A student.

Maybe everyone on here was a good kid and can't imagine/doesn't remember the stuff you got up to? Maybe kids need to sneak around and do bad stuff as part of a maturing/growing up process?

Exactly this. I was never left alone in middle school. I remember those days well enough to think it's not a good idea.

LOL at the clueless parents who think their special snowflake "doesn't need supervision".

Meh, When I was 12 and 13 I had a very successful babysitting biz and was starting to worry about the SATs. Not all 12 year olds are trading bjs for crack. This is a moot point for me because I have a very flexible schedule can by home by 4 or 4:30 on days I don't WFH, plus our school actually does offer some activities on site (as do most middle schools for this very reason), but those so afraid their middle schooler can't be trusted for a few hours a week have a parenting problem, not an aftercare or logistics problem, sorry.

For those with very inflex schedules who don't like their kids home for hours and hours every day, I get that, and yes agree that an afterschool sitter is probably best bet coupled with after school activities at or near the school.

[Anonymous]

Perhaps have DC become a baby sitter twice a week? This teaches them responsibility and you don't have to worry about what they are doing. They can babysit someone else's kid but get paid for it. Meanwhile, you don't have to worry about them being in trouble. They can eat a snack, help out with homework, begin their own homework, eat a snack, etc.

The other three times a week put them in a club or some sort of enriching activity. Problem solved. I remember being in middle school. It was a time of free reign, testing boundaries and doing stuff I am ashamed to tell my parents even til this day.