Best age range for two

[Anonymous]

My husband is an Irish twin. Hin and his brother are close now but fought terribly as kids.

[Anonymous]

I had two 26 months apart, both boys. The first two years with both was really rough and the first three years I thought that they would always hate each other but since age 3/5 they started playing really nice together and at 4/6 work together against me in sneakiness but at least they’re bonding. Hopefully it continues.

[Anonymous]

3 years. I did 2 years and 9 months.

[Anonymous]

Mine are 3.5 years apart. I didn't aim for that (was hoping for 2.5) but it's been good. They still play together sometimes, but also apart because they are different ages/genders. There's been basically no sibling rivalry -- which may be partly a function of their personalities and the fact that they are different genders, which is nice. Among my friend's kids, I have noticed that there are often rivalry issues with siblings close in age and same gender. But a lot I think is luck of the draw.

[Anonymous]

I’ve heard boys close together fight a lot. Like constantly. They have to establish the hierarchy, and since it’s not clear then there is a constant battle.

I thought this was pretty accurate for our gap:

https://www.thealphaparent.com/what-no-one-tells-you-about-child/

[Anonymous]

Mine are 2.3 years apart, 2 years apart in school. The gap has been ideal for us, since the kids are close enough to the same level to enjoy the same movies and family games. We can easily plan vacations since we don't have to deal with a huge age range (or height range for amusement parks). Family sports or hiking trips work out fine, too, since both kids are at a similar ability level.

They do fight a lot, but it's mostly verbal bickering and not physical (older girl, younger boy).

[Anonymous]

You will make it work for you. My sons are 17 months apart and it has been great for us. I had a coworker who purposely had kids 8 years apart twice (three girls). They loved it.

[Anonymous]

My daughters are 17months apart, one grade apart at school and I love it. Love it so much. They also love it.

[Anonymous]

Interesting so many people like 2.5. Mine are 2 years 5 months apart. The baby is 2 months old. It is really really difficult with the toddler’s tantrums. I feel like it is the worst age to introduce a sibling. I feel like my toddler is old enough to recognize all the “bad” parts about having a sibling, and react very strongly to them, but too young to truly make sense of it all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Interesting so many people like 2.5. Mine are 2 years 5 months apart. The baby is 2 months old. It is really really difficult with the toddler’s tantrums. I feel like it is the worst age to introduce a sibling. I feel like my toddler is old enough to recognize all the “bad” parts about having a sibling, and react very strongly to them, but too young to truly make sense of it all.

That's probably the toughest part. It's still all very new to your older one. But she will get adjusted and I think you will find it a very nice spacing when they are a little older.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:All I know is I HATED being 4 years apart from my sibling. We were never in the same stage/phase and basically just ignored each other or annoyed each other. My parents ended up bringing us each a friend on all local outings/vacations just to deal.

Everyone I knew who was 2-3 years apart from their sibling has a decent relationship so that was our goal and we got lucky with TTC and our kids will be almost exactly 2.5 years apart. Hopefully the above posters are right!

I guess our family is lucky. Im the middle child and four years younger than Sis and four years older than brother. We were all close growing up. My kids are three years apart and they are close too.

[Anonymous]

My kids are 4 years apart and I love the gap. They are definitely in different stages but they still manage to play together and love to just hang out. It was nice having an older one when the baby was born vs two needy babies at once.

We are away with friends for the weekend who have a 2 year old and 3 month old and it’s a total shit show. Between the baby and 2yo someone has been crying pretty much every single minute of the day.

From what I have experienced with friends and myself, the baby phase is easier when you have a bigger gap, but the kids tend to be closer and better playmates when they are older the closer the gap, although they fight like crazy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Interesting so many people like 2.5. Mine are 2 years 5 months apart. The baby is 2 months old. It is really really difficult with the toddler’s tantrums. I feel like it is the worst age to introduce a sibling. I feel like my toddler is old enough to recognize all the “bad” parts about having a sibling, and react very strongly to them, but too young to truly make sense of it all.

I could have posted this word for word. My 2 yo has gone off the deep end since the baby came home and I can't tell if it's the new baby or just a totally shitty age. She used to be so fun and sweet and these days she is a monster.

[Anonymous]

My three are roughly 2 years apart so when #3 was born #1 turned 4 a week later. All three were good friends as children and great friends as adults. That was my plan and it worked out! Now they are having babies at the same time and their little ones are friends. It’s wonderful!

[Anonymous]

I don't think there is an ideal spacing, other than less than 3-4 years if you want them both to generally be in similar phases when they are young. Whether or not they will be great playmates/friends depends a lot more on the specific gender and personality mix.

I'd have one said 2 yrs - my sister and I are 20 mos apart and always the best of friends. I don't remember ever fighting with her. But, really, we just got lucky and have very compatible personalities.
My kids are 15 mos apart -- older boy, younger girl -- they played together some as little kids but really have completely different personalities, temperaments, play styles. They don't fight since both are pretty easy going but neither one would ever the other's first choice of someone to hang out with.