I second 9:40.
- I have extended relatives and neighbors with this issue, assuming this is actual fighting and aggression and not friendly roughhousing. Both times one of them ended up in the hospital because the parents let it go unchecked. Usually, it is because they were bored, didn't have the capacity to self entertain or have other activities, and had minimal attention/supervision from their parents. They were all very close in age and forced into spending nearly all of their time together-they rarely got a break outside of school. They were so desperate for parental attention, even negative attention was seen as positive. Not saying this is you, just relaying my experience on things that seemed to up the ante. For the neighbors, it ended when one went to prison for assault. For the others, not sure yet-they are ~14 now. They have to see a psychologist and receive counseling. They are supposed to be separated immediately, 1-1 dates each week with each parent. Independent activities to increase conflict-resolution skills with kids their own age and time apart rather than being cooped up in the house. They get a thorough explanation of why what they were doing was wrong and revocation of privileges. The behavior started extending to other guests and family members as well. Explanations and timeouts didn't work so they occasionally get smacked. There is literally no other way to get them to stop hitting or to let go of you. It's really sad, upsetting and dangerous for the older guests who are easily knocked over. Therefore, nobody visits very often. - Something that frames their sibling bond as special and them as being on the same team/cooperative play is what my SO says assisted them and their sibling. They were also made to share a room. Same for my family, minus the room share. Ultimately, most kids grow out of it. |