Private Immersion (Rochambeau) v. Lafayette, Deal, Wilson: we have never disagreed like this

[Anonymous]

I would do the French immersion school. I am also a first generation American and both culturally and for many other reasons I think it’s so important to be bilingual and if the non-English language is your family’s native language, even better. I think it’s great you want to instill your heritage in your child through language. It’s one of the best ways and it’s a gift he will have his whole life.

[Anonymous]

As a mom of kids who recently went through that public pathway, I 💯 agree with your husband. The neighborhood friendships are PRICELESS. You probably can’t see that yet, given your son’s age but they are. Even if he goes private for middle or high school, those childhood neighborhood friendships last a lifetime.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Many (quite possibly all) of the kids we know who attend Saturday language schools hate it. The weekend classes interfere w many, many activities that are scheduled at the same time, and it creates a different barrier than if the same kids were enrolled in immersion schools and were able to join their neighborhood sports teams and go to their neighborhood friends' parties. A lot (majority) of the informal and organized social connecting happens outside the classroom on the weekends.
The participation in neighborhood sports teams drops off as the years progress, and so do the invitations to parties (which are more of an early elem phenomena than in the later years).

There are many, many families in your neighborhood who send their kids to independent schools. Language immersion when your child is younger is priceless and irreplaceable when compared with starting to study a world language in later grades. Taking a world language class as part of a curriculum, studying and/or summers abroad do not offer the same exposure and foundation. It's like music; it's SO much harder to start in middle school than in elementary school. The older the kids are, the more they are aware of their shortcomings & feel embarrassed, they are more impatient with their lack of progress and they are more likely to simply fulfill the requirements to graduate and move on/test out at the college level.

2nd the recommendation to visit WIS (closer, larger community) to give you and your husband another option for context and perspective. WIS 8th graders do a two-way exchange w an international, same-language of study family. Good luck & the more you and your husband can appreciate each other's concerns, versus trying to win the debate, the easier it will be to make a decision you both feel confident in trying (vs one of you conceding to a decision made by the other). No matter what school your child attends there will be bumps and disappointments, especially w friendships (for the kids and the parents). Learning a language is forever.

I think you are getting much useful advice on this thread. Some will be different than each other, as we are all offering opinions. The option for French school on Sat mornings is excellent, but I agree with this poster. My children have friends who have attended various Sat morning language schools and grew to resent it as so many activities and sporrs occur and Saturdays and they missed them all. Even for a child the age of yours, Sat mornings playing at the park, being able to do the neighborhood tennis class or soccer league or art class, all are more valuable than adding another half day of school per week in my opinion. Especially if you are trying to foster connections in the neighborhood.

[Anonymous]

I am thankful for public schools that have language immersion. FCPS has a bunch of LI programs and we love ours. It is a unique opportunity for our child and I am thrilled that he has been able to participate.

[Anonymous]

I'm team DH on this one. You've got a strong local public school--use it and contribute to your neighborhood community.

But if you give in, get in writing a plan to commit the funds to foster the connection to France. Actually, if also you commit to improving your own French--through both study and regular trips to France--you will make a lot more progress towards having a bilingual child.

[Anonymous]

Bumping because I'm having a similar (though not identical) issue with my DH, though I'm on the other side... DH is a native spanish speaker (and 3yo DS speaks equal Spanish/English due to Spanish immersion daycare); DH feels Rochembeau would provide DS with a third language, a better education, the opportunity to study in Europe, and a more international worldview compared to our inbound school... Janney.

Based on my research, I'm skeptical DS will become truly fluent in French without native support at home (or grueling supplemental help from tutors / weekend classes), and it seems like it could crowd out mastering other subjects. It all just seems like too much work without native support and a strong incentive to speak French. I get that Rochambeau (and GIS) dangle fluency for non-native families in their marketing, but I'm skeptical it can work without a herculean effort.

Given we have a top DC elementary school within walking distance, and all the community benefits that come from that (DS being able to walk to school alone in several years, neighborhood friends), I just can't understand how Rochembeau would be a good idea (play dates a 20-30 min drive away). I get some of the America-phobia (I'm American!) that drives a desire for a more international feel, but it all seems based in fantasy rather than the reality of what's best for our child (e.g., having a dad/mom who can help DS with his homework no matter the subject or complexity).

If we were in a sub-par district, I'd be a little more open to it, but for now it seems like the couples therapy couch beckons. Before we go there... I'm right, right? (or tell me how I'm wrong, thanks!)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Bumping because I'm having a similar (though not identical) issue with my DH, though I'm on the other side... DH is a native spanish speaker (and 3yo DS speaks equal Spanish/English due to Spanish immersion daycare); DH feels Rochembeau would provide DS with a third language, a better education, the opportunity to study in Europe, and a more international worldview compared to our inbound school... Janney.

Based on my research, I'm skeptical DS will become truly fluent in French without native support at home (or grueling supplemental help from tutors / weekend classes), and it seems like it could crowd out mastering other subjects. It all just seems like too much work without native support and a strong incentive to speak French. I get that Rochambeau (and GIS) dangle fluency for non-native families in their marketing, but I'm skeptical it can work without a herculean effort.

Given we have a top DC elementary school within walking distance, and all the community benefits that come from that (DS being able to walk to school alone in several years, neighborhood friends), I just can't understand how Rochembeau would be a good idea (play dates a 20-30 min drive away). I get some of the America-phobia (I'm American!) that drives a desire for a more international feel, but it all seems based in fantasy rather than the reality of what's best for our child (e.g., having a dad/mom who can help DS with his homework no matter the subject or complexity).

If we were in a sub-par district, I'd be a little more open to it, but for now it seems like the couples therapy couch beckons. Before we go there... I'm right, right? (or tell me how I'm wrong, thanks!)

I think your child would speak fluent French if they went through Rochambeau. I know how hard it is for a kid to achieve fluency without immersion at home but full immersion at a French international school would be the thing that would do it.

Agree with your other points though!

[Anonymous]

Rochambeau parent - fluency will come, but only after several years (maybe 5th or 6th grade).

Idk what your best choice would be, but I can assure you that Rochambeau students are not entitled brats. Most Rochambeau parents are foreign government bureaucrats - the parent parking lot is full of Hondas with Diplomatic plates - think an EU version of a U.S. Dept. of Justice lawyer, nice & prestigious, but hardly entitled. Previously, we sent our DC to a private in the suburbs and ever single student was a spoiled prince/princess whose parents either didn't care or even encouraged the entitlement.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think you are way too emotionally invested in the “we are French” thing. If even you don’t speak it, it’s realky NOT that much of your family’s identity. He’s second generation and doesn’t care at all about France probably. If you were the one who emigrated here from France and he had been born there, it might make more sense to continue that connection but you want to build a false one that doesn’t exist. I’m with your husband. If being French was really that big a deal you would already know French as would he. You can’t pay $25k a year to teach your kid to be French.

+1. This is really about OP and her lack of connection to "France" than about her kid.

[Anonymous]

Stop kidding yourself. Your DC will not become fluent absent about a decade in immersion. Trips abroad, weekend classes, language classes at the regular school will not do it. (I'm hyper educated in a public facing profession and in 30 professional years, I've met 2 people who are fluent in a language that wasn't learned at home.) If you are committed, make the sacrifice for immersion. If not, give up the fantasy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Bumping because I'm having a similar (though not identical) issue with my DH, though I'm on the other side... DH is a native spanish speaker (and 3yo DS speaks equal Spanish/English due to Spanish immersion daycare); DH feels Rochembeau would provide DS with a third language, a better education, the opportunity to study in Europe, and a more international worldview compared to our inbound school... Janney.

Based on my research, I'm skeptical DS will become truly fluent in French without native support at home (or grueling supplemental help from tutors / weekend classes), and it seems like it could crowd out mastering other subjects. It all just seems like too much work without native support and a strong incentive to speak French. I get that Rochambeau (and GIS) dangle fluency for non-native families in their marketing, but I'm skeptical it can work without a herculean effort.

Given we have a top DC elementary school within walking distance, and all the community benefits that come from that (DS being able to walk to school alone in several years, neighborhood friends), I just can't understand how Rochembeau would be a good idea (play dates a 20-30 min drive away). I get some of the America-phobia (I'm American!) that drives a desire for a more international feel, but it all seems based in fantasy rather than the reality of what's best for our child (e.g., having a dad/mom who can help DS with his homework no matter the subject or complexity).

If we were in a sub-par district, I'd be a little more open to it, but for now it seems like the couples therapy couch beckons. Before we go there... I'm right, right? (or tell me how I'm wrong, thanks!)

I agree with the potential for it crowding out mastery of other subjects. You also need to consider the reality of Rochambeau's upper school. My understanding is that they have an extended day to accommodate the extra classes for the French diploma and it can interfere with other sports and ECs. Doesn't seem worth it to me unless your kid truly plans on going to uni abroad or is invested in French language/culture, which is impossible to know for a kindergartener.

Deal offers French starting in 6th, with the option to continue through 12th at Wilson. 7 years of French is still pretty impressive for a kid who's already English/Spanish bilingual. There are also summer study abroad programs at tons of universities in Europe that you could easily afford for the price of Rochambeau tuition.

[Anonymous]

Rochambeau, hands down. If you can afford private, do private.

--public school teacher, MoCo

[Anonymous]

Former Rochambeau parent with a HS student in DCPS today. DC spent roughly 7 years at Rochambeau and it was a great experience. We also live in DC so they were on one of the school's bus route. You have better school options than we did, but I would probably do Rochambeau anyway.

I really appreciated that assessments were honest as well as the grading system. Nobody receives perfect marks. My kid received an excellent education there and has a love of learning as a result. We're an American family FYI.

[Anonymous]

I'm French, and instead of sending my kids to Rochambeau, our kids are in MCPS in Bethesda, we speak French at home and send our kids to the weekend French school in Bethesda, Les Classes du Samedi. It's nowhere near enough French, but they get the basics of grammar, we watch TV in French, and above all, my husband and I speak it in front of our children.

You cannot speak French with your husband to your child.

Therefore, and because I am a strong believer in keeping cultural and linguistic roots alive for as long as possible, I vote with you for Rochambeau. Warning: I've heard that some kids there are a little entitled (but less entitled than the big DC privates!!!). Also, if your kid has special needs, the French system does not cater to those. But you will get an international exposure you won't get in DCPS (even though Chevy Chase is pretty open to foreigners), and you give keep the French heritage alive in your family.

Tell your husband that daily grammar and immersion is NECESSARY to be an entirely bicultural and bilingual French speaker. It's not like English grammar, which I picked up casually in my youth! English is so easy compared to most other languages. Summers in France are for culture and accent, not for grammar. My kids aren't the best at grammar. My oldest is in college and decided to take a French refresher prior to doing a year of study in Paris, so it can be remediated later, if your kids really want to.

Plan B should be your local DCPS and Les Classes du Samedi in Bethesda. Check out their website. Maybe I'll see you there!

[Anonymous]

This thread is 5 years old. Hopefully OP figured out that having a second child would immensely help both the friend issue and the language/culture issue.