Private Immersion (Rochambeau) v. Lafayette, Deal, Wilson: we have never disagreed like this

[Anonymous]

go to wis or find a weekend french school. those dcps you mention will be a very fun and diverse community for you. and a community that cares.

[Anonymous]

I think you are way too emotionally invested in the “we are French” thing. If even you don’t speak it, it’s realky NOT that much of your family’s identity. He’s second generation and doesn’t care at all about France probably. If you were the one who emigrated here from France and he had been born there, it might make more sense to continue that connection but you want to build a false one that doesn’t exist. I’m with your husband. If being French was really that big a deal you would already know French as would he. You can’t pay $25k a year to teach your kid to be French.

[Anonymous]

Hi OP - I wanted to do exactly what you want to do - send my kid to an immersion school in my language. I did not even grow up in the US.
My mom who lives in my home country gave me some really good advice. She told me to let my kids grow up American as this is their home. We took her advice and sent kids to our local neighborhood school. I will tell you that the neighborhood network is amazing and has been such a blessing to us. I don’t regret what we did at all.

[Anonymous]

OP, you seem all over the place. I agree with your dh. Much more sensible. Don’t make this about you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I see both sides, and both are valid. But in the choice between the community you live in and the cultural heritage, I lean toward the local school. Plus if he’s an only child, friends are even more important. That said, I don’t know what the educational experience at Lafayette is. My spouse and I fight about educational choices, so you have my sympathy.

+1

Kids aren't vessels to fill. If you couldn't work out how to have a stronger connection with France and French during your whole adult life, perhaps it isn't as important to you as you think. You can't just ship him off to the French experience without some work by the two of you to support it at home. It isn't like a dry cleaner - drop it of and it will be returned just perfect.

Both options have their merits, and Rochambeau has a good reputation, but I'm leaning toward your husband's position. It seems better integrated with the life it looks like you are living. You can promote French culture in a thousand other ways. If you choose.

Also, I would worry about sending him to a French school without good support at home. Aren't all the kids there French? Can you really handle being completely disengaged from his schooling and unable to help? I know that my friends with kids at Key only wound up with fluent kids if someone at home was darn close to fluent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In addition to the weekend class, OP, you can also find after school language immersion and tutoring, and then remember that Deal is an IB school so language is every day for all three years and only the target language is spoken in class from day 1 and the French students can go to Paris for Spring Break in 8th grade.

I think what Deal offers is great, but it depends on whether OP wants French language exposure only, vs. native fluency.

"In a paper last year on which he was a co-author, based on an English grammar test taken by some 670,000 people, he found that — even for children — learning a language takes much longer than I’d thought. Children need seven or eight years of intensive immersion to speak like a native. These years must start by about age 10, to fit them all in by age 17 or 18, when there’s a sharp drop in the rate of learning. (He’s not sure whether this drop is caused by changes in the brain or in circumstances)."

https://www.nytimes.com/2019/04/30/opinion/contributors/learning-french-in-middle-age.html?fbclid=IwAR2xjq8xQQ_6jMufs3Vq8QW5ah-jIoMNcjrWE5xQbJFC00ZFHgQbXQnGTtE

The immersion schools are for families who want their kids to speak their heritage language like a native, or close to it, by starting early in an immersion environment. Granted, most families don't require this level of fluency for their kids, and a few kids will be able to develop fluency later without this level of intensity. No right or wrong answer here, just what works for each family depending on their priorities.

I agree with that, and I think immersion is wonderful; but even OP's French is spotty, and she's just looking for a connection for her son, and she can get the connection without immersion and save her marriage.

She is looking for instant connection without the hard work of connection, which she has had ample opportunity to do (and has not).

It will be hard to be part of the R. community without French. Many of us made good friends with the families of our children's classmates and this won't happen there.

[Anonymous]

DH and I had a similar disagreement - different schools but same disjoint.

What ultimately swayed me to his side was the question of: What actually makes our son's life better vs. worse? Easier vs. harder? A long commute to school for a 5 year old (or an 8 year old) is objectively worse than a neighborhood school...and a good one at that! This enables your child to have a community at home that is not replaceable by one spread all over the DC area. It matters. And if you decide in a year or four that your child needs or wants something different (smaller community, etc...) than you have the resources to pay for it.

I will also say you can imbue your child with French-ness through supplementary lessons and trips to Europe in a way that makes him feel part of the community he actually lives in most of the time. If he goes to a special french school farther away there will be a significant loss there too.

We are 8 years out from choosing the neighborhood school - we did move once to a better neighborhood school, but I do not regret our decision and thank DH for his fight on this.

[Anonymous]

I agree with your DH because the neighborhood network is so great for kids socially, but don’t kid yourself about the elitism. Remember Lafayette is in that nice big park because the black families who lived there were removed. It’s an exclusively wealthy area by design, remains so by common consent and the whiteness is still overwhelming. Lafayette is a public school but the parents bypass the community to directly advantage it over other schools by hundreds of thousands of dollars every year.

I also agree with him that long summer visits to family in another country are worth more culturally than language immersion stateside.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I see both sides, and both are valid. But in the choice between the community you live in and the cultural heritage, I lean toward the local school. Plus if he’s an only child, friends are even more important. That said, I don’t know what the educational experience at Lafayette is. My spouse and I fight about educational choices, so you have my sympathy.

+1

Kids aren't vessels to fill. If you couldn't work out how to have a stronger connection with France and French during your whole adult life, perhaps it isn't as important to you as you think. You can't just ship him off to the French experience without some work by the two of you to support it at home. It isn't like a dry cleaner - drop it of and it will be returned just perfect.

Both options have their merits, and Rochambeau has a good reputation, but I'm leaning toward your husband's position. It seems better integrated with the life it looks like you are living. You can promote French culture in a thousand other ways. If you choose.

Also, I would worry about sending him to a French school without good support at home. Aren't all the kids there French? Can you really handle being completely disengaged from his schooling and unable to help? I know that my friends with kids at Key only wound up with fluent kids if someone at home was darn close to fluent.

No, they're not--most families I know have at least one parent who is a native or fluent French speaker (maybe 80-90%? wild guess), but not all. There are some families who speak another language at home--several of my kid's classmates speak Spanish at home, for example. I've also heard Italian, Russian, and other languages spoken.

OP, I don't think many people here have a lot of experience with Rochambeau, as I don't think most families frequent this site. It sounds like you speak some French? So you already have a base in the language, and if you're willing to work at it, it could work. If you want to speak with families who don't speak French at home, I'd contact admissions and see if Valerie can put you in contact with someone.

We also have experience with another Deal feeder. I think Lafayette and the neighborhood school experience is a strong option too--but to be fully informed, you should tour both schools, talk to families, and discuss with your husband until you're both on the same page.

[Anonymous]

Many (quite possibly all) of the kids we know who attend Saturday language schools hate it. The weekend classes interfere w many, many activities that are scheduled at the same time, and it creates a different barrier than if the same kids were enrolled in immersion schools and were able to join their neighborhood sports teams and go to their neighborhood friends' parties. A lot (majority) of the informal and organized social connecting happens outside the classroom on the weekends.
The participation in neighborhood sports teams drops off as the years progress, and so do the invitations to parties (which are more of an early elem phenomena than in the later years).

There are many, many families in your neighborhood who send their kids to independent schools. Language immersion when your child is younger is priceless and irreplaceable when compared with starting to study a world language in later grades. Taking a world language class as part of a curriculum, studying and/or summers abroad do not offer the same exposure and foundation. It's like music; it's SO much harder to start in middle school than in elementary school. The older the kids are, the more they are aware of their shortcomings & feel embarrassed, they are more impatient with their lack of progress and they are more likely to simply fulfill the requirements to graduate and move on/test out at the college level.

2nd the recommendation to visit WIS (closer, larger community) to give you and your husband another option for context and perspective. WIS 8th graders do a two-way exchange w an international, same-language of study family. Good luck & the more you and your husband can appreciate each other's concerns, versus trying to win the debate, the easier it will be to make a decision you both feel confident in trying (vs one of you conceding to a decision made by the other). No matter what school your child attends there will be bumps and disappointments, especially w friendships (for the kids and the parents). Learning a language is forever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Many (quite possibly all) of the kids we know who attend Saturday language schools hate it. The weekend classes interfere w many, many activities that are scheduled at the same time, and it creates a different barrier than if the same kids were enrolled in immersion schools and were able to join their neighborhood sports teams and go to their neighborhood friends' parties. A lot (majority) of the informal and organized social connecting happens outside the classroom on the weekends.
The participation in neighborhood sports teams drops off as the years progress, and so do the invitations to parties (which are more of an early elem phenomena than in the later years).

There are many, many families in your neighborhood who send their kids to independent schools. Language immersion when your child is younger is priceless and irreplaceable when compared with starting to study a world language in later grades. Taking a world language class as part of a curriculum, studying and/or summers abroad do not offer the same exposure and foundation. It's like music; it's SO much harder to start in middle school than in elementary school. The older the kids are, the more they are aware of their shortcomings & feel embarrassed, they are more impatient with their lack of progress and they are more likely to simply fulfill the requirements to graduate and move on/test out at the college level.

2nd the recommendation to visit WIS (closer, larger community) to give you and your husband another option for context and perspective. WIS 8th graders do a two-way exchange w an international, same-language of study family. Good luck & the more you and your husband can appreciate each other's concerns, versus trying to win the debate, the easier it will be to make a decision you both feel confident in trying (vs one of you conceding to a decision made by the other). No matter what school your child attends there will be bumps and disappointments, especially w friendships (for the kids and the parents). Learning a language is forever.

Rochambeau parent PP here, and I agree that if bilingualism is the goal, you generally should start early. Sounds like this is OP's goal, but not her husband's.

Yes, WIS is an option, too--different feel (Rochambeau is a bit more rigid in their pedagogical approach, but definitely down-to-earth families). We know families at WIS who are happy.

Another option for OP is sending her kid to Lafayette for K, given the distance to the Rochambeau's Bradley campus. If they decide they really like their neighborhood school, they can stay. If they'd still prefer immersion, kid can start at the Rollingwood campus in 1st grade, which is probably a very short drive from OP, depending on where she is in CCDC.

[Anonymous]

Different Rochambeau parent here. We’re a monolingual American family and we’re not alone at the school. OP’s family would be very typical at Rochambeau.

[Anonymous]

OP, what did you decide?

[Anonymous]

I think OP left this thread long ago, some responses were very personal. In case anyone else is interested, I am kind of in a similar position. My DC attended Rochambeau for GS/K 2020/2021 year and since then we moved to Lafayette IB. For 1st grade we still want my DC to have a third language, so I am thinking of keeping him at Rochambeau. I started my DC in preschool where he got exposed to French and Spanish. Then, DC attended a 50/50 french immersion PREK4, and then we moved to this area and sent him to Rochambeau.

Neither my husband nor I speak French or have any connection to it, but felt our son could have the opportunity to learn another language and be more culturally proficient. We are making the financial effort to send him to Rochambeau, so we were tempted to send him to Lafayette when we moved here.

I don't feel families at Rochambeau are super wealthy or elitist, most seem to be very much like us. Most people seem down to earth and there are many, many non-french international families with the same interest to give a different cultural and language exposure. So far, I wholeheartedly recommend Rochambeau.

[Anonymous]

Non-US and non-French Spanish-speaking working family with child in the French school in MS (Pre-K). Biligualism and multilingualism are important to us. It helps with creativity, it expands minsets and is a must in a global world. Better start young with languages and also to commit with the school too as it takes 5-7 years to achieve academic fluency but then it pays off. Don't get discouraged and don't give up. The curriculum is strong and structured. On 11th grade student gets the MD HS diploma and on 12th grade the French Bac or IB diploma. It's a well rounded education. Students are collegial. School has extra-curricular activites and sports. It is not elitist, not super-wealthy families, but quite down to earth, amicable, I've found. The Rochambeau Elementary School is moving to a new campus in the Fall, with more indoors and outdoors spaces, and lower class sizes.