positive affair stories

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:anyone have a positive affair story? where having an affair really made your life better?

I got one. I am an affair baby. The man that I thought was my father all these years was hiding the fact that he was sterile. He was abusive both mentally and physically. If my mom didn't have an affair, I wouldn't be alive!!

I am now a very stable parent of 2 in a monogamous relationship. I work in a field that strives to help people of less fortune and have modeled service to others all of my life. Given my circumstances I think that affairs can be a grey area instead of black and white. There can be unintended benefits from parents straying. If things didn't happen in the exact order they did, I wouldnt be my current self with the same experiences that are being passed on to my children who I am rasing to think of others and concentrate on doing good in the world.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, he's now my DH and we have two kids.

Until the kids find out.

Can you really trust each other, knowing what you know?

how would my kids find out? Yes, I trust him fully and he trusts me.

Someone in your family might slip. There might be more people who know the truth than you realize. Or they might suspect and do the math. If you tell them much about your life pre-kids, they can figure it out.

My family doesn't know. Neither does his. I was married before. We dated for three years before we got married. I'm not worried about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know of only 1. They were both planning divorce when it started. They got married. They have been married for almost 10 years. Both of them are much happier and knew that they had already made a mistake getting married in their first marriages. As far as I know, everyone in the situation is happier. The first marriages were not right to start.

Ask the kids

I know the kids are happy. They were like 5 and 2 when the split happened. They have only known this.

[Anonymous]

My husbands parents had multiple affais and divorces. Step kids, half sibling. A total cluster F. I would say all the kids are damaged and non can stay married. Awful selfshish parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know of only 1. They were both planning divorce when it started. They got married. They have been married for almost 10 years. Both of them are much happier and knew that they had already made a mistake getting married in their first marriages. As far as I know, everyone in the situation is happier. The first marriages were not right to start.

Ask the kids

I know the kids are happy. They were like 5 and 2 when the split happened. They have only known this.

But how will they feel when they know the truth?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So many cheating posts on this site. Are there really that many affairs going on out there?!?

I feel sorry for your spouses and children.

Just download Tinder and Bumble.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:anyone have a positive affair story? where having an affair really made your life better?

I got one. I am an affair baby. The man that I thought was my father all these years was hiding the fact that he was sterile. He was abusive both mentally and physically. If my mom didn't have an affair, I wouldn't be alive!!

I am now a very stable parent of 2 in a monogamous relationship. I work in a field that strives to help people of less fortune and have modeled service to others all of my life. Given my circumstances I think that affairs can be a grey area instead of black and white. There can be unintended benefits from parents straying. If things didn't happen in the exact order they did, I wouldnt be my current self with the same experiences that are being passed on to my children who I am rasing to think of others and concentrate on doing good in the world.

That is not a positive story just the bright side of a horror story.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think there are TONS of marriages where a no-drive wife is unaware of her normal-drive husband's affair(s). And because of this sexual outlet, the marriage is sustainable which would otherwise end in divorce.

Personally I have several friends in this exact situation and I suspect the numbers would stagger you.

There are also MANY that don't care. The women love their kids, lifestyle and the guy wasn't the topper to begin with. I've heard it a lot from women over the years. Recently my hair stylist told me pretty much the same thing concluding that men always have a shelf life and are expendable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think there are TONS of marriages where a no-drive wife is unaware of her normal-drive husband's affair(s). And because of this sexual outlet, the marriage is sustainable which would otherwise end in divorce.

Personally I have several friends in this exact situation and I suspect the numbers would stagger you.

There are also MANY that don't care. The women love their kids, lifestyle and the guy wasn't the topper to begin with. I've heard it a lot from women over the years. Recently my hair stylist told me pretty much the same thing concluding that men always have a shelf life and are expendable.

Men get lazy and complacent and wear out their welcome.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think there are TONS of marriages where a no-drive wife is unaware of her normal-drive husband's affair(s). And because of this sexual outlet, the marriage is sustainable which would otherwise end in divorce.

Personally I have several friends in this exact situation and I suspect the numbers would stagger you.

There are also MANY that don't care. The women love their kids, lifestyle and the guy wasn't the topper to begin with. I've heard it a lot from women over the years. Recently my hair stylist told me pretty much the same thing concluding that men always have a shelf life and are expendable.

Men get lazy and complacent and wear out their welcome.

Yeah whatever you can go ahead and blame him for her no-drive it really doesn’t matter the reason because his affair is (per the subject thread) a positive example that has saved their marriage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So many cheating posts on this site. Are there really that many affairs going on out there?!?

I feel sorry for your spouses and children.

I don’t think so. I do think there are a lot of unhappily married people who would like to have an affair because they don’t have the balls to leave.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My mom would tell you her story is positive, because she really does love her AP. Unfortunately, it has negatively affected our relationship since the day I caught them when I was 14. And it cost her some friendships and standing in the community, and of course her integrity. We will never be a big happy family because her AP's adult children are on drug. She financially supports him as well. So she might think it is a happy story but I think that is just her denial and the price others have paid was far too high.

+1. Ex cheated extensively, and I kicked him out. 10 years later he is married and, on the surface, the kids get along with NewWife and him. He would say it was a “positive” story. The kids would tell you otherwise. He has caused them a lot of pain, and the kids have just come to accept that he is irresponsible and they will never get what they want/need from him and have come to accept whatever crumbs he offers.

+2. My fad had a (rather public) affair with his coworker when I was a kid, and another child came out of it. He married his AP and they raised the kid (my half sister) together. We still get along ("on the surface," like you said), but it's hard to look at him with a high degree of respect knowing what he did. Luckily, I got a truly wonderful step-father out of it all (who I refer to as my father when my real dad isn't around), but still - it changed things.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:anyone have a positive affair story? where having an affair really made your life better?

I got one. I am an affair baby. The man that I thought was my father all these years was hiding the fact that he was sterile. He was abusive both mentally and physically. If my mom didn't have an affair, I wouldn't be alive!!

This is positive from your point of view, but objectively the positive outcome would have been she divorced him and married your bio-father without having an affair.

[Anonymous]

Celebrated 17 years of marriage with my former AP, in December

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know of only 1. They were both planning divorce when it started. They got married. They have been married for almost 10 years. Both of them are much happier and knew that they had already made a mistake getting married in their first marriages. As far as I know, everyone in the situation is happier. The first marriages were not right to start.

Ask the kids

I know the kids are happy. They were like 5 and 2 when the split happened. They have only known this.

But how will they feel when they know the truth?

The 5 year old remembers before the split for sure. My DD remembers many things about her Dad living in the house with us at that age. She only speaks about it with people she trusts. And she doesn’t speak about it often because those once happy memories now represent a painful loss.


Just because kids don’t speak to you about it doesn’t mean they don’t remember.