Suspension

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Here is the issue: the manner in which the school first presented it seemed plausible, so I agreed. Of course, there is only so much time to appeal. As I met the parents whose children were involved, it became apparent that the school misrepresented what actually happened. Do we say this in the common app?

No. You shouldn't accuse the school of basically being dishonest ("misrepresenting what actually happened") in your answer. You have to suck it up and deal. Or if you have multiple people saying something significantly lesser happened, you bring that to the school's attention, despite the appeals deadline passing. If necessary, go above the school if there is a chance your child will look really bad based on the current record. Get it expunged and then you'd still say yes and say the facts were later found to be different XYZ, and the school agreed to have the suspension expunged. It happened, so I think you'll have to say yes. You should be able to work to have the record corrected if the school did in fact misrepresent what happened and you have corroborating witnesses. Don't leave something harmful on you DC's record if it's not true.

[Anonymous]

I agree that you should read the responses on the University forum that address this specifically.

Note that there is a common thread: the parents always say it was so minor. I like how you added, "it sounds worse than it was."
Needless to say, we parents are very biased when it comes to our kids.

The bottom line is to fill out the common app honestly, and let the school decide how important/minor/bad the incident was, and what it says about your child. It IS in his favor that he has a few years to prove such behavior is out of character for him (if it is...)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Here is the issue: the manner in which the school first presented it seemed plausible, so I agreed. Of course, there is only so much time to appeal. As I met the parents whose children were involved, it became apparent that the school misrepresented what actually happened. Do we say this in the common app?

No. You shouldn't accuse the school of basically being dishonest ("misrepresenting what actually happened") in your answer. You have to suck it up and deal. Or if you have multiple people saying something significantly lesser happened, you bring that to the school's attention, despite the appeals deadline passing. If necessary, go above the school if there is a chance your child will look really bad based on the current record. Get it expunged and then you'd still say yes and say the facts were later found to be different XYZ, and the school agreed to have the suspension expunged. It happened, so I think you'll have to say yes. You should be able to work to have the record corrected if the school did in fact misrepresent what happened and you have corroborating witnesses. Don't leave something harmful on you DC's record if it's not true.

The main person involved had a different, worse charge - justifiably so. DC had a lesser charge, but only after finding out the facts, was it obvious that school was (very) wrong. It is too late to do anything about it - they won’t budge - mostly because we pointed out how wrong the school was. I know “curious minds want to know” the details on DCUM, but that won’t happen. So I am moving on to the “what now” stage. Thanks to the helpful PPs - keep the help coming!

It is important for all parents to know that schools generally close ranks. I am not of the insecure, hyper competitive parenting mindset, and I think it is important parents are forewarnerned. Even great kids get wrongly accused. If anyone has specifics on how to get the record corrected, or how to move on from here, that would be appreciated. Another PP stated “suck it up” - not helpful, for obvious reasons.

[Anonymous]

Thank you for the real life example, much appreciated, seriously. I know there are many more. Would appreciate people sharing.

I don't know where you are, but there are two Hyde school campuses that specialize in this kind of rehabilitation.

Honestly, not that I think your son needs any serious rehabilitation (it's weed, not meth), but this is what the college admission process is going to require. You are going to have to jump through some more hoops.

Your next few years are not going to be fun - but they are also not going to be tragic. You have your son. He's healthy. He hasn't killed anyone. Your lives are not over, although it probably feels like the great shame of the century right now.

It is not. Public opinion moves on to focus on something else, and forget things that seem "OH scandalous" in the time in which they happen.

Keep your son's spirits up and tell him that everyone falls, it only matters what you do from this point forward.

He's likely at a very low point and teenagers are volatile. Tell him how much you support him as much as you can. Surround him with your support. He needs that.

I knew of family where a very nervous, nerdy kid did something very ill-advised (talking to an underaged girl online), he was caught doing it, was arrested and expelled from college , and he ultimately killed himself before he ever reached 20.

Don't let your son even remotely enter this territory. For Pot ??!! no.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Thank you for the real life example, much appreciated, seriously. I know there are many more. Would appreciate people sharing.

I don't know where you are, but there are two Hyde school campuses that specialize in this kind of rehabilitation.

Honestly, not that I think your son needs any serious rehabilitation (it's weed, not meth), but this is what the college admission process is going to require. You are going to have to jump through some more hoops.

Your next few years are not going to be fun - but they are also not going to be tragic. You have your son. He's healthy. He hasn't killed anyone. Your lives are not over, although it probably feels like the great shame of the century right now.

It is not. Public opinion moves on to focus on something else, and forget things that seem "OH scandalous" in the time in which they happen.

Keep your son's spirits up and tell him that everyone falls, it only matters what you do from this point forward.

He's likely at a very low point and teenagers are volatile. Tell him how much you support him as much as you can. Surround him with your support. He needs that.

I knew of family where a very nervous, nerdy kid did something very ill-advised (talking to an underaged girl online), he was caught doing it, was arrested and expelled from college , and he ultimately killed himself before he ever reached 20.

Don't let your son even remotely enter this territory. For Pot ??!! no.

I think you are confusing this thread with the weed and knife in a truck parked in the school's parking lot thread. Not DS, DC - in this case.

[Anonymous]

I think you are confusing this thread with the weed and knife in a truck parked in the school's parking lot thread. Not DS, DC - in this case.

Isn't this the thread where the son was caught with a vape pen + other stuff + a pocket knife in his parking lot car and was expelled?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I think you are confusing this thread with the weed and knife in a truck parked in the school's parking lot thread. Not DS, DC - in this case.

Isn't this the thread where the son was caught with a vape pen + other stuff + a pocket knife in his parking lot car and was expelled?

No, why would you think that? It has already been stated that this is a separate thread, and a separate OP. The one you are thinking about is this one: http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/120/762906.page#13985663

[Anonymous]

Thanks, sorry - I think both threads had the same title

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thanks, sorry - I think both threads had the same title

No. The other thread talks about "EXPULSION" (different topic).