HS grades: are there any consequences that you impose?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

"Let them fail" is not so easy. Esp if the reasons they are "failing" have to do with organization or other reasons not related to ability to do the work.

Getting into college is incredibly difficult. It's extremely competitive. A year (and certainly more) of sub-par grades to prove some point, when helping them may have a positive impact, has a more grave consequence than some kids are able to comprehend. So, not helping them (not doing it for them but helping them find out what the obstacles are and offering help to overcome them) is negligent parenting, imo.

There's a difference between "failing" and just not performing up to full potential. Not every mediocre grade is a cry for help. Every kid has different needs, but by high school, the vast majority probably don't need mom to check Blackboard, Google classroom and the gradebook for them on a daily or weekly basis.

One way to keep your kid from failing is to encourage them to take classes where they can succeed based on the interests, work habits, and motivation they have, rather than what you wish they had. For some, that might mean a mix of different levels of classes and not the "most rigorous." My DC took easier classes the first two years of high school (some but not all honors) while he figured things out and worked his way up to a pretty rigorous junior and senior year. I pushed older DC to take a more rigorous schedule and it backfired.

I didn't say that. And while I generally agree with most of the rest of your post, I just don't think a "hands off" approach is really feasible anymore. It's just too competitive.

[Anonymous]

The only consequences I have for DD is based on effort. If she is not trying/skipping HW assignments, she loses her phone.

If she is working hard and getting a B, oh well.

The consequences are in the college she is attends.

[Anonymous]

The schools that offer retakes and up to a week to hand in assignments are allowing students to slack off or at least not prioritize their academics. No real deadlines so why would a kid be motivated to study for a test or do the homework on time? This attitude doesn't fly in real life ( I'll pay my Visa bill 2 weeks late) or in college academics. I don't understand this teaching trend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The schools that offer retakes and up to a week to hand in assignments are allowing students to slack off or at least not prioritize their academics. No real deadlines so why would a kid be motivated to study for a test or do the homework on time? This attitude doesn't fly in real life ( I'll pay my Visa bill 2 weeks late) or in college academics. I don't understand this teaching trend.

One reason is to get the student to understand the material. Not everyone can do well the first time. Isn't it better that they take the test over and understand and remember the material? School already isn't like "real" lfe...as an adult you are around people of all ages but, in school your classroom is with only your peers ( just one example I can give right now without coffee)

[Anonymous]

Stop focusing on outcomes.

Start focusing on kid is in middle school so you need to be putting greater oversight time into the electronic grade book and get systems in place to make sure all work is done in a timely way.

Consequences for failing to do work. Most likely your kid will get good grades at this point. If he still can't, you have bigger issues to resolve.

Consequences only for things he can control.

[Anonymous]

Oh, and "let them fail" is a dangerous strategy.

Maybe your kid will turn around and do better. Equally likely, your kid will decide/learn he is a loser.

If your kid has executive function issues, too much immaturity or any actual problem, he won't learn anything useful from the failure.

[Anonymous]

In our case, I let them fail in elementary school lower grade levels, so they learn their lessons early. They also seem to be more embarrassed at these early ages when they get an F or N. They have got a few of these, and learned from them, and in time matured enough to be better organized. I did not praise them for it, but I did tell them where it will lead them in life if they keep that up. I expect them to have a life goal ahead of them they work towards. It can change whenever they want, they can add several goals but I don't want my kids to float around aimlessly. Makes it much harder to find a reason to do your best.

[Anonymous]

Don't all FCPS middle and high schools allow retakes?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Don't all FCPS middle and high schools allow retakes?

No. They often have policies that don't allow kids to retake quizzes, but then they put a lot of weight on quizzes and only give one test per quarter. So, basically they set it up so that your kid can't retake anything. And then the test is given in the last week of the quarter (or the week before) and the grade isn't put into gradebook until it is the end of the quarter, so you (the parent) can't see it and encourage the kid to retake until it is too late.

Trust me, the teachers have come up with ways to minimize their work in providing retake opportunities.