Please help...DC is falling apart in school and we don't know what to do

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We reached crisis towards the end of K and ended up pulling DS out of school at the beginning of May when he started hurting himself and threatening to kill himself. It took DS about 6 weeks to stabilize.

What the school is doing right now with multiple classrooms a day absolutely has to stop. That's doing nothing but making the problem worse. They need to do an FBA (which may or may not be ultimately useful) and start the process for an IEP. In our county, there is a short term therapeutic setting for kids in crisis but your county may not have something like that. I wouldn't discard the idea of pulling DS out of school for a month, though. Allowing him to stabilize is completely different than supporting his anxiety. First graders don't act like this when they're not in crisis.

Then the school needs to come up with a placement where your DC is able to access the curriculum. That might be an ED placement. ED was something I was really scared of for DS but retrospectively, the placement you want is the one that allows your DC to enjoy going to school, regardless of what that placement is called.

Regarding medication, we've been through several and DS is now on a mood stabilizer. Like PP's DC, this basically gets DS to a place where he's able to access the CBT techniques that he knows cognitively. DS is 10yo now and has been diagnosed with ASD, ADHD, and anxiety but K/1st were absolutely the hardest years which we got a handle on things.

Good luck.

OP here. I will respond to other PP questions when I have more time. What is an ED placement?

You can't do a temporary placement b/c he doesn't have an IEP yet.

Try medication in addition to getting an IEP in place.

Temporary placements are possible before the IEP is finalized. From Wrightlaw:
http://www.wrightslaw.com/info/iep.law.appendixa.htm


14. For a child with a disability receiving special education for the first time, when must an IEP be developed--before or after the child begins to receive special education and related services?

Section 300.342(b)(1) requires that an IEP be ``in effect before special education and related services are provided to an eligible child * * *’’ (Italics added.)

The appropriate placement for a particular child with a disability cannot be determined until after decisions have been made about the child’s needs and the services that the public agency will provide to meet those needs. These decisions must be made at the IEP meeting, and it would not be permissible first to place the child and then develop the IEP. Therefore, the IEP must be developed before placement. (Further, the child’s placement must be based, among other factors, on the child’s IEP.)

This requirement does not preclude temporarily placing an eligible child with a disability in a program as part of the evaluation process--before the IEP is finalized--to assist a public agency in determining the appropriate placement for the child. However, it is essential that the temporary placement not become the final placement before the IEP is finalized. In order to ensure that this does not happen, the State might consider requiring LEAs to take the following actions:

a. Develop an interim IEP for the child that sets out the specific conditions and timelines for the trial placement. (See paragraph c, following.)
b. Ensure that the parents agree to the interim placement before it is carried out, and that they are involved throughout the [FR Page 12476] process of developing, reviewing, and revising the child’s IEP.

c. Set a specific timeline (e.g., 30 days) for completing the evaluation, finalizing the IEP, and determining the appropriate placement for the child.

d. Conduct an IEP meeting at the end of the trial period in order to finalize the child’s IEP.

[Anonymous]

We’ve had temporary special ed placements before. The kid needs a small special ed class to get calm and have some chance of making it through the day. Request it and the testing right away. Ask for someone from the school system above the principal to meet with you. Whatever their special ed coordinator person for their part of the school system is called.

[Anonymous]

Don't worry about child falling behind. It is first grade. They will be fine. It's not until 3rd grade that academics really start to pick up.

[Anonymous]

Get a good behavioral therapist BCBA in right away to try to do a functional behavior analysis (FBA). It may cost you a few thousand dollars but believe me it will save you and your child a lot of pain down the road if you can figure out what's triggering the behaviors. It could be a big thing or a small thing. Is he overwhelmed by the classroom environment (sensory)? Having peer conflicts or being bullied? Did it start with a specific type of assignment that made him anxious? Does the new classroom have a ceiling fan that's making him fearful?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We reached crisis towards the end of K and ended up pulling DS out of school at the beginning of May when he started hurting himself and threatening to kill himself. It took DS about 6 weeks to stabilize.

What the school is doing right now with multiple classrooms a day absolutely has to stop. That's doing nothing but making the problem worse. They need to do an FBA (which may or may not be ultimately useful) and start the process for an IEP. In our county, there is a short term therapeutic setting for kids in crisis but your county may not have something like that. I wouldn't discard the idea of pulling DS out of school for a month, though. Allowing him to stabilize is completely different than supporting his anxiety. First graders don't act like this when they're not in crisis.

Then the school needs to come up with a placement where your DC is able to access the curriculum. That might be an ED placement. ED was something I was really scared of for DS but retrospectively, the placement you want is the one that allows your DC to enjoy going to school, regardless of what that placement is called.

Regarding medication, we've been through several and DS is now on a mood stabilizer. Like PP's DC, this basically gets DS to a place where he's able to access the CBT techniques that he knows cognitively. DS is 10yo now and has been diagnosed with ASD, ADHD, and anxiety but K/1st were absolutely the hardest years which we got a handle on things.

Good luck.

OP here. I will respond to other PP questions when I have more time. What is an ED placement?

You can't do a temporary placement b/c he doesn't have an IEP yet.

Try medication in addition to getting an IEP in place.

Some counties have a temporary therapeutic placement for children who are in process for an IEP. You have to ask what is available and put it on the school to pull in resources from the district. The best teams I've worked with have been proactive in pulling in district resources but it sounds like that isn't happening in this case. You can also call the district special education coordinator and ask them what your options are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Don't worry about child falling behind. It is first grade. They will be fine. It's not until 3rd grade that academics really start to pick up.

Agree with this. Don't worry about the academics at all. All of the rest of it is the issue.

[Anonymous]

Get an advocate who can also observe him in the classroom

[Anonymous]

OP - You need to keep a folder of all your contacts with the school division because once you make the request for an evaluation, there are timelines which need to be met. For now you and DH, if married, both need to attend all meetings to show a united front and/or consider getting an advocate in to get the ball rolling. I would request a meeting this week directly as mentioned to principal and special education person closest in contact to your area in MOCO because your son needs a short-term placement for his mental health well-being. Shuttling him between teachers is unfair to him and other students. Depending on his behavior and stress levels, you may want to be sure there is staff safely trained to handle him in a crisis mode and not assume they have the training on proper restraint - not sure what it is called.

[Anonymous]

If you suspect anxiety, you could ask to try hydroxyzine ... it works within a couple days and you can also come off of it if it doesn't work. It's an allergy medicine also used for anxiety. No dangerous side effects.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is my only child, and I have no idea what to do.

Six-year old DC is in 1st grade. Since the school year began, DC has been acting out significantly. DC is now unable to sit in any classroom for any length without falling apart. DC was diagnosed with anxiety a year ago and we know that plays a factor, but now we're testing DC for other things (LDs, ADHD, etc.). We've reached out to other professionals for help (child psychiatrist, multiple psychologists, the pediatrician, etc.) and aside from the pediatrician, we can't be seen by anyone for another 3-4 weeks (that includes testing). Meanwhile, DC can't get through the school day without multiple "incidents" and DH and I receiving multiple calls/reports. The only time DC seems able to function is when placed in a quiet room with one of the school's administrators. We've met with the school leadership multiple times to come up with a plan to help DC get through the day until we can sort things out with the health professionals, but that "plan" isn't working. DC is becoming increasing agitated and aggressive. At home, DC seems fine -- not their usual happy self, but we're not seeing the level of aggression DC is apparently demonstrating at school. DC's anxiety does seem heightened in other ways though. We talk to DC and we get very little, other than school is "bad." We can tell that DC is suffering, but don't know what to do. We're at a complete loss -- we can't even pinpoint how any of this began. DC had a great K at the same school. And we're suffering too, seeing DC suffer. Does anyone have any advice?

Signed,
Desperate parent at the end of their rope

I just posted a response to a thread about Tomatis but I have to share it with you! Similar case to mine DS, 7 year old ADHD, could not tolerate more than 3 kids in the class, everything you described even the tutor situation.
We tested with everyone for everything, in short, we finally found out that all was linked to his auditory processing issues. The improvement has been significant especially at school. DS is not any medication which is probably the best we could hope for. Good luck with everything!

[Anonymous]

OP here.

Just wanted to think everyone for weighing in with helpful suggestions and give an update. We requested a child study and are documenting all of our interactions with the school. We've worked with the school to come up with a plan (even had DC's pediatrician write a letter reinforcing the plan) that is consistent and structured. This plan has built moderate success, but the school continues to deviate from the plan because of "stretched" resources. We've reached out to the school district special education rep for assistance. We were able to move up DC's appointments and just counting down the days when we can get answers. DC is much calmer at home, but clearly not their usual, happy self. DH and I are emotionally exhausted -- never thought we'd be here, but we're making every effort to stay on top of things.

To the PP(s) complaining about me using DC instead of DS/DD: it's my choice and I don't see why it should bother anyone else. I didn't ask Jeff to remove the comment, but I'm glad he did, and hope he will remove the more recent comments, which are mean-spirited, unnecessary, and unhelpful.

[Anonymous]

Please consider talking to an ed consultant/advocate or whatever you want to call them to help you and your husband through this. Our first phone call with one helped calm us down and explained next steps clearly and put everything in perspective. She then guided us through the process, worked with the school and gave us other outside of school resources we hadn't thought of.

If you tell us what state you're in, people on this board can give you some names.

Take care of yourself

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Please consider talking to an ed consultant/advocate or whatever you want to call them to help you and your husband through this. Our first phone call with one helped calm us down and explained next steps clearly and put everything in perspective. She then guided us through the process, worked with the school and gave us other outside of school resources we hadn't thought of.

If you tell us what state you're in, people on this board can give you some names.

Take care of yourself

OP here. We're located in Northern VA.

[Anonymous]

We used Catherine Adams and LeighAnne Cahill since we're in Fairfax. Very helpful at getting us and our DC back on track. It's still not perfect but we feel liek we have a good team now

[Anonymous]

OP, have you actually gone and spent a day at school with your child? Maybe you could pinpoint what is triggering him.