co-ed sleepover

[Anonymous]

I know 3 families that do co-ed sleepovers, swapping houses between the 3. There are two boy/girl families and one girl/girl family. Youngest kids are 6, oldest are 9. The kids love it and families are fine with it and enjoy that it gives them kid-free evenings. To each their own. But - yes, inform everyone that it is a coed party and invite a late-night pick-up. I'd be ok with a later pick-up, but I'm not a fan of sleepovers in general and especially at such a young age. Maybe when my 7y.o. is older.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This sounds like a bad idea unless you are willing to continue hosting co ed sleepovers. As a parent you are like hte supreme court. Everything you do is setting a precedent. Of course you can shut the whole thing down later if you want to but it will just be a lot harder. THink about the long game.

Agree with this. At 6 it's no big deal (except most kids are too young to handle a big group sleepover at 6 anyway--but that's another issue), but if you start now, at some point you'll have to say "no we're not doing that anymore" and your explanation will seem accusatory and suspicious. Like somehow at the magic age of 12 you no longer "trust" your kid to be at a co-ed sleepover. We all know that it isn't about "trust" but about impulse control, hormones, etc. It will still feel like an accusation to your kid, so easier to just keep it consistent.

[Anonymous]

I can imagine it depends on where you live, but very families would bat an eye at this where we live. At 8 or 9, and certainly into the tween years--sure. But not at 6. My 6yo son has yet to be invited to a single-gender party (sleepovers included). I haven't noticed a pattern of girls declining the parties yet.

I also disagree that you can't do this if you don't want to continue forever. There are a million things we do (or let our kids do) at six that we don't intend to do forever. Kids change, and so do their roles and responsibilities. It's fine to say no next time if you feel that it's fine at six but not at seven.

[Anonymous]

*very few

[Anonymous]

Also, I think the easy solution is to invite the kids you want to invite on an Evite where everyone can see who's invited and who's coming. Set it up with kids' names if the families don't know one another so that it's clear that it's co-ed. Then just see where the chips fall. If it is really the case that all the girls decline (and I doubt it will be, assuming these are families you know decently well) then just let your child add a few more boys to the list and call it a day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would rather put hot needles in my eyes than try to host 6 year olds for a sleep over.

Avoid all the problems and have a "sleep under". After dinner everyone puts on pjs and watches a movie. Pick up at 9:00.

I have less than zero desire to pick up a 6 yo at 9 pm on a weekend.

Instead you want to pick them up the next day? When they are exhausted and you have to spend the entire day with them? Don't get it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Mom of 3, ages 19, 16, 13.

6 is too young for a sleepover.

Exhausting for all, most especially the host parent. If you are hosting a group sleepover, you need to be around, supervising and being attuned to collective and individual homesickness, quirks, meds, routines, arguments. One of mine never could make it through an entire night away, so get phone numbers of all the parents.

I used to think that I'd gladly send my kids over for a sleepover and have some time for myself/other kids, but there's hell to pay the next day. I call it a sleepover hangover.

I keep reading this and I honestly I don't know what this is. Our tradition for DS' birthday is a group playdate and a sleepover of three of his favorite friends. We've been doing it since he was 5. I love it because it's way less work for me! Other than feeding them and setting up beds, I don't really have to do anything. They all know each other so there's no homesickness. There are no meds. Arguments or fights have to be sorted out independently, I'm not there to referee. I don't see what supervision is required other than they don't kill themselves (hasn't happened so far.) Here's the house, here's the playroom, here's the backyard, here are all your friends, have at it.

They fall asleep maybe an hour later than usual, get up at the normal time, no one is exhausted. I honestly don't understand why this has to be tiring or bad the next day. Sleepovers are our favorite thing. They are so easy!

[Anonymous]

I have a 6yo who has slept at friends houses who are boys the same age. I would be ok with it if I felt like I knew the family well and the majority of the kids.
DD knows to change in the bathroom with the door closed and wear pajamas in bed, and sleep in her own bed by herself. I wouldnt let her go to a strangers house, but someone i know, sure.