what is your idea of 'supporting' your child in school and being an 'involved parent'

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My idea of it is to send my child dressed, fed, rested and ready to learn. I'm not trying to be an involved parent. We read every night, we talk about homework and I help her study for spelling tests, etc. I don't even read any of the fliers asking for stuff - DD throws them in recycling. I taught her what permission slips look like and to err on the side of caution. I wouldn't mind going on a field trip once a year or something, but that's it. I'll send in a treat for DD's birthday.

This is fine. I would just ask you to give the same respect to the parent who enjoys helping out and volunteering time at school.

[Anonymous]

You don't have to participate in everything and contribute money every time it's requested. The reason the requests come so often is that only a few people participate each time. The PTA would not make enough money if they only did one fundraiser a year. Most people would miss it. That's why they need multiple events. One family might not want scholastic books, but they might buy a wreath for the holidays, or vice versa. If you are at a school with a very active PTA, then your kid is lucky. The PTA often does things the public school can't afford. Our PTA pays for teacher's classroom supplies, guest speakers and cultural events, etc. I am not super involved, but I am thankful for the people who are, because I know the kids benefit from it. I make sure to contribute money every year but I choose when to do it.

[Anonymous]

I have 3 kids and now 2 are in elementary. I don’t have time to volunteer (work full time) so I try to purchase stuff that I like, but not everything. I like Scholastic and book fairs because it’s better than Amazon and who doesn’t want more books?! I show up to the school events, communicate with teachers and help with homework. Homework in K was optional so we opted out.

[Anonymous]

Teach your kid to read, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It sounds like you're doing great, except for the HW. Either sit down with him and read him the directions, help him do what he's supposed to do, or put it away and don't do it at all. Don't give him a paper he can't read and tell him to have at it. That's discouraging.

I just mean that I am not going to do it for him.There are a few parts, usually, that I would basically have to spoonfeed him in order to get him to complete, and I think that's just a waste of everyone's time. I make sure he gets what he is supposed to do, but I'm not going to nag him to complete it.

I guess being an involved parent includes developing communication and coaching strategies to help him complete a task, or learn for next time how to complete a task, and it's incumbent on you to find the balance between spoonfeeding the work and abandoning him to it.

Yes but it's not the job of the parent to explain/spoonfeed the child the homework - that's the teacher's responsibility. There's a natural middle ground but some parents like to err on the side of doing the homework for their child vs guiding the child enough to generally figure it out and if they can't finish it, so be it. Their learning occurs at school from 9-3, not at home from 5-6pm (or 7-8pm, depending on age).

I work at a high FARMS school (like 95%) and this is the mentality of most of the parents at our school. Oh and before anyone calls that a racist statement, our school is very racially diverse (40% white, 40% Hispanic, 20% AA).

DH and I have always been shocked at the level of involvement of parents in grades and homework in DC (unsure if parents are this nutty elsewhere). I only involve myself in homework if my kids ask. I don’t check their homework or do anything for projects beyond buy supplies when asked. My kids had to work through their embarrassment because their projects look like they did it and most their classmates had extensive assistance from adults. (They’re now in MS and HS.) I just don’t understand why parents do this.

[Anonymous]

Their learning occurs from 9-3 and not outside those hours?! Seriously?! Do you not consider it part of your responsibility to teach your kid things?!

This anti-intellectual attitude is one of the reasons we have so many idiots voting for Trump.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Their learning occurs from 9-3 and not outside those hours?! Seriously?! Do you not consider it part of your responsibility to teach your kid things?!

This anti-intellectual attitude is one of the reasons we have so many idiots voting for Trump.

Being anti-K-homework, for kids who haven't learned to read yet, is not being anti-intellectual.

[Anonymous]

There is a big difference between not involving yourself in their homework and not caring at all whether or not they do it. I am sure that does not describe you. Every year I have parents who say to my face that their kid isn't doing any homework because they should only learn at school. Imagine what your kids would be like if that was your stance. By middle school they wouldn't care about school and you'd be lucky if they even finished high school. Your kids know you are there if you need them. You expect them to do their assignments. Huge difference.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think coming into school for a couple hours every other day is reasonable.

Provided you are a stay-at-home Mom that is. Moms working full-time do not have time for this. And not every parent is interested to spend so much time at their kid's school.

[Anonymous]

I have three kids and I work full-time. Here's the extent of my involvement: I make sure the HW is done on time, and that snacks are packed. Every beginning of the year, when I meet the teacher, I tell them, I will write you a nice check for anything you need. I cannot, however, donate time so don't expect me to volunteer, chaperone etc. Let me know if you need me to know something about my child, and let me know if you need money. Anything else, I don't want to know.

[Anonymous]

I’ve an example of the homework so which you’re objecting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have three kids and I work full-time. Here's the extent of my involvement: I make sure the HW is done on time, and that snacks are packed. Every beginning of the year, when I meet the teacher, I tell them, I will write you a nice check for anything you need. I cannot, however, donate time so don't expect me to volunteer, chaperone etc. Let me know if you need me to know something about my child, and let me know if you need money. Anything else, I don't want to know.

it is the school who requires the flyers, not the teacher.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It sounds like you're doing great, except for the HW. Either sit down with him and read him the directions, help him do what he's supposed to do, or put it away and don't do it at all. Don't give him a paper he can't read and tell him to have at it. That's discouraging.

I just mean that I am not going to do it for him.There are a few parts, usually, that I would basically have to spoonfeed him in order to get him to complete, and I think that's just a waste of everyone's time. I make sure he gets what he is supposed to do, but I'm not going to nag him to complete it.

I guess being an involved parent includes developing communication and coaching strategies to help him complete a task, or learn for next time how to complete a task, and it's incumbent on you to find the balance between spoonfeeding the work and abandoning him to it.

The Scholastic scam is entirely up to you and your budget. It's overpriced, but the school or PTA gets credits/points/$/"dollars" from it, and they'll smile at you wider if you indulge.

Is it really overpriced? I just ordered 4 books for $11. I recognize they're paperback, but less than $3/book seems very reasonable to me. The hardcover versions of these books are $11+ each. I'm certainly not going to do it every month, but there were a few books that are never available at the library that we've been wanting to read anyway, so why not.

[Anonymous]

I work FT and have 3 kids in elementary. I am lucky to have an extremely flexible job where I basically set my own hours.

My attitude is my kids are little only for a few years and this time flies. I volunteer when I can, and chaperone field trips too, because they are NOT gonna want me to do it in MS or even upper elementary so I do when they are young. I love kids in general and my job has nothing to do with kids. I can go in for an hour once in awhile or the occasional field trip and it's great fun and it also reminds me why I am not a teacher. Really hard work.

I donate to the PTA and help out but don't do leadership. Hard to set those boundaries because if you are a good volunteer they need people to do more and more. Like at many workplaces, if you are a top performer the reward is MORE WORK.

Sometimes it is hard to say no to all the opportunities/requests (especially as a mom, DH has no issue ignoring things).

Scholastic isn't that overpriced but we only buy 1-2 things a year, at most, if we see something we like and were going to read anyway.

[Anonymous]

^^PP here. I remember being annoyed at all the fundraisers our first year of public school too, OP. You'll get the hang of it over the years. The explanation someone offered above about the need for multiple offerings is interesting, and probably right. I would still prefer if our school would ask for a set dollar amount because we are at a moderately better off school and people could probably do that. Our school does a lot of community building events that also serve as fundraisers.