DC bored in class, time to confront the teacher...need help with questions to ask

[Anonymous]

OP,

Did you mention the immersion component before? If so, I missed it. Can your child work on the target language while English instruction is going on? Are there native or bilingual speakers in the class? If so, why doesn't she work on that?

Another key question is whether your child is ready for independent, self-guided classroom work? It's a skill your child may not have yet developed. If so, great.

It's great to advocate for your child! However if the teacher doesn't have the mechanism for differentiated teaching -- especially in a bilingual program! -- she cannot singlehandedly resolve what is clearly a systemic issue. Also, I would not go to the other teachers before asking your child's classroom teacher, there might be protocol on this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I'm not dismissing your concerns. They are valid. But, social skills are a big focus in kindergarten. I think a sit-down meeting with the teacher would be a good idea, sans the principal at this point, to really talk about the issues. And I don't consider this confrontational. If you approach is with a cooperative tone, I'm sure you will get somewhere. It's hard for a teacher to really focus on this sort of situation and cooperatively come up with solutions with you when it's discussed in passing, or even on an observation day.

One concrete thing to ask is if your child finishes morning work, or XX block work, etc., early, can that time be used for more advanced reading/work, etc.

Um, I am not sure what school you are talking about but social skills are really a preschool thing these days. My DD's class is not allowed to talk to each other except at lunch and on the playground. Not during class unless the teacher says so. They are only allowed to talk to her when they raise their hands. No socializing going on there.

Was the "um" really necessary?
Learning to raise your hand and wait to talk in a group of your peers, learning how to behave in a classroom, these are social skills. I stand by my statement. Just because it's a preschool focus doesn't mean it ends in kindergarten.

[Anonymous]

PP- I am not sure where your kids go to school but where I live, the kids are expected to have these abilities (standing in line, waiting their turn, raising their hand to speak, etc) as they enter K. For most kids, they learn these skills in preschool so they are ready to go to K and not have to start at the beginning. My friend teaches K and rarely has a child who has not gone to some preschool (she said occasionally she might have a student from another country who did not attend preschool). K these days is all about teaching kids how to read (at least public K is). Times have changed a lot.

[Anonymous]

I agree with PP. The idea that kindergarten is for learning how to interact with other children and build teamwork skills and take turns and ahre and negotiate conflict -- that's not going on so much in most kindergartens these days.

Children are learning how to sit quietly, wait to be called on to speak, and how to do their work. Important -- but not social skills.

[Anonymous]

Oh for crying out loud.
I guess we just live in the backwoods, then. Not saying it's the only focus. Just saying that it continues. And no, sadly, not EVERY kid in K has been to preschool. I'm aware that kindergarten is the new first grade, and yes my own public K kid entered already able to read and raise his hand, etc.

But back to the OP's question. OP, You've gotten some good solid feedback here. Please let us know how it goes when you have your meeting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I'm not dismissing your concerns. They are valid. But, social skills are a big focus in kindergarten. I think a sit-down meeting with the teacher would be a good idea, sans the principal at this point, to really talk about the issues. And I don't consider this confrontational. If you approach is with a cooperative tone, I'm sure you will get somewhere. It's hard for a teacher to really focus on this sort of situation and cooperatively come up with solutions with you when it's discussed in passing, or even on an observation day.

One concrete thing to ask is if your child finishes morning work, or XX block work, etc., early, can that time be used for more advanced reading/work, etc.

Um, I am not sure what school you are talking about but social skills are really a preschool thing these days. My DD's class is not allowed to talk to each other except at lunch and on the playground. Not during class unless the teacher says so. They are only allowed to talk to her when they raise their hands. No socializing going on there.

Was the "um" really necessary?
Learning to raise your hand and wait to talk in a group of your peers, learning how to behave in a classroom, these are
social skills. I stand by my statement. Just because it's a preschool focus doesn't mean it ends in kindergarten.

Socialization never ends. The skills just become more and more complex as students move up. Learning how to debate, for example, after doing extensive research on the pros and cons of an argument is a skill that will be useful in the work force. And sadly, on the flip side, sometimes even 9th graders have to be taught to raise their hands and wait to talk.

[Anonymous]

Update from OP. The meeting went well! I learned that the K teacher is a committed professional. As a pp mentioned, it was just very difficult for the teacher to communicate about this issue in the midst of a stressful day. The teacher is attempting to strike a balance between play and learning, as I suspect are many K teachers. We discussed a few of the studies the teacher has read on how it's best to achieve this balance while maintaining order in the classroom. The teacher has also tried several techniques for behavior management and changes to something new when the old is no longer effective.

We agreed that I would work on teaching DC to read in the target language at home and the teacher offered to provide some materials to assist in that process. We reviewed some of the upcoming literacy activities for DC's small group and I learned that there are TWO other children reading in that group now. We did not come up with any specifics on math, except that the teacher would challenge DC when appropriate.

Overall, it was a good meeting and I was happy that I didn't jump to bring in the principal. I am researching charter options for next year. I've heard of some that offer more academically.

Thanks again to all who provided input.

[Anonymous]

Good luck - this is a problem that isn't going to go away. My kids are older now, but had similar issues (as did I, years ago). Some things that worked:

- Request teachers: write a nice letter in the spring about how well the year has gone and how next year you'd like to focus on [whatever] and would like Teacher X for your child.

- Upgraded expectations: get your kid used to expecting that optional assignments won't be optional. For 2nd grade vocab. assignments, we arranged to have our DD required to include etymology, so each week she learned a little Latin and Greek, even though she pretty much knew all the words.

- Outside activities: look at JHU-CTY, foreign language, Chinese school, 4H Adventures in Science. You want your child to know what it feels like to think hard, in a group.

- Open-ended assignments: if the kids get to choose the book, write as much as they want, pick the science project, then your child will be able to participate at the right level.

Beware of suggestions to keep your child challenged by having him/her teach others: this isn't fun for every smart kid, and it has its limits, since they are still stuck in the already-mastered material.

Horror stories: I learned to knit in first grade, because the teacher couldn't figure out what else to do with me. My brother played Monopoly with another smart kid. All day, every day, for months, until my mother sent the principal in to check. My daughter, who was reading 500-page books, complained about having to trace letters with her finger in sand ("reading readiness"), and hid in the bathroom. (A range of school types: one rotten public school, one 50-best public school district, one top private school, and one middling-to-decent private school - if your child is more than a little above average, you'll have to keep an eye on the process no matter what.)

We've seen many parents cope with the lack of school challenge by immersing their children in music and sports activities. Not an endorsement, just an observation.

And yes, Hoagies Gifted is a great resource: other people have been through this, and can provide ideas.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:


Um, I am not sure what school you are talking about but social skills are really a preschool thing these days. My DD's class is not allowed to talk to each other except at lunch and on the playground. Not during class unless the teacher says so. They are only allowed to talk to her when they raise their hands. No socializing going on there.

This is one of the saddest things I've read all day. We still have another year at least before my dd leaves preschool, but I hope that socializing remains a focus for a long time to come.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:


Um, I am not sure what school you are talking about but social skills are really a preschool thing these days. My DD's class is not allowed to talk to each other except at lunch and on the playground. Not during class unless the teacher says so. They are only allowed to talk to her when they raise their hands. No socializing going on there.

This is one of the saddest things I've read all day. We still have another year at least before my dd leaves preschool, but I hope that socializing remains a focus for a long time to come.

What kind of socializing during the school day are you hoping to see in your child's first grade class? If you describe it, someone here might be able to tell you which schools would be most likely to have that kind of student interaction.

My child was in a private school for 2 years and a public school for one year and I visited the classrooms a lot -- I have to tell you, not a lot of social interaction going on in either of the schools. A lot of sitting and listening.

[Anonymous]

I don't think schools will be preparing kids for the workplace of the future. Employers want more than people who can come up w/ the one right answer from a list of them. That is what the public schools concentrate on these days. I understand they need to have standards and they need to have a way of measuring which schools perform well, etc. But kids need to actually be taught how to work in groups cooperatively, to think of many different solutions to problems and them solve them. They need to be able to communicate (and not just in writing). They need to be able to think creatively. These skills cannot be accomplished when schools are teaching to a test that is multiple choice and individually administered.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My child was in a private school for 2 years and a public school for one year and I visited the classrooms a lot -- I have to tell you, not a lot of social interaction going on in either of the schools. A lot of sitting and listening.

Wow, GDS isn't like that at all. Lots of talking, group work, freedom of movement.

[Anonymous]

Teacher here. Children learn much better through cooperative learning where they are engaged, talking to each other, and working together to arrive at solutions. Active learning (not passive sitting and listening to an authoritarian teacher) is MUCH more effective. If your school does not allow your children to talk to each other during the day, I would seriously question that educational environment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Good luck - this is a problem that isn't going to go away. My kids are older now, but had similar issues (as did I, years ago). Some things that worked:

- Request teachers: write a nice letter in the spring about how well the year has gone and how next year you'd like to focus on [whatever] and would like Teacher X for your child.

- Upgraded expectations: get your kid used to expecting that optional assignments won't be optional. For 2nd grade vocab. assignments, we arranged to have our DD required to include etymology, so each week she learned a little Latin and Greek, even though she pretty much knew all the words.

- Outside activities: look at JHU-CTY, foreign language, Chinese school, 4H Adventures in Science. You want your child to know what it feels like to think hard, in a group.

- Open-ended assignments: if the kids get to choose the book, write as much as they want, pick the science project, then your child will be able to participate at the right level.

Beware of suggestions to keep your child challenged by having him/her teach others: this isn't fun for every smart kid, and it has its limits, since they are still stuck in the already-mastered material.

Horror stories: I learned to knit in first grade, because the teacher couldn't figure out what else to do with me. My brother played Monopoly with another smart kid. All day, every day, for months, until my mother sent the principal in to check. My daughter, who was reading 500-page books, complained about having to trace letters with her finger in sand ("reading readiness"), and hid in the bathroom. (A range of school types: one rotten public school, one 50-best public school district, one top private school, and one middling-to-decent private school - if your child is more than a little above average, you'll have to keep an eye on the process no matter what.)

We've seen many parents cope with the lack of school challenge by immersing their children in music and sports activities. Not an endorsement, just an observation.

And yes, Hoagies Gifted is a great resource: other people have been through this, and can provide ideas.

Op. Really good suggestions. Some of which we're doing, others we're not. I will definitely check out the 4H activities as we don't yet have a science activity in our rotation. It's too early for JHU, but I do have it on my radar. I recently took a workbook to school for DS to work in when they have "free choice" time. DS often chooses the book over coloring or playing and can't wait to show me the work. I plan to take a couple more in different subjects, so DS can choose.

I was ready to take refuge in an independent school, but now I feel empowered to supplement appropriately so that the challenge is there. Plus, I get to keep the racial and socio-economic diversity that is important to us. The best of both worlds...for now, at least.

Thanks to all the wonderful suggestions and support on this thread.