When you discover your parents are broke

[Anonymous]

DH and I both come from modest households that lived paycheck to paycheck and made poor financial decisions. As soon as we became financially stable, we realized how much of a mess our parents finances were. We bought a house with a basement apartment. My in-laws live with us. My MIL takes care of our DD and my FIL is a mess. I have no good answers. Supporting them as a separate household would have caused problems for us financially. They will never be what we want them to be but they still can contribute. After we had a child, we realized how nice it was to have the help. y still can contribute. After we had a child, we realized how nice it was to have the help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can quickly grow sick to my stomach contemplating this.

My parents were never well off and have done what they've had to do. My dad retired from the gov't early, but has the good "old" retirement plan so health care has never been an issue. They've lived off social security, his retirement pay, and working odd jobs. My dad, at age 70, stocked Walmart shelves seasonally for extra money. The recently sold their house and moved into an RV park. I think, ultimately, they will be independent for the rest of their lives, and maybe we just help with vacations to see us or simple things like that.

My in-laws live way above their means. My FIL retired early with one year's severance and a full pension and blew through the severance the first year he was retired. The house is fully mortgaged. He's not worked a day since. MIL continues to work part time. They went through bankruptcy about 20 years ago.

They are very image and status conscious and I can't imagine them ever downsizing. I also cam't imagine my inept FIL has managed what money they have nor paid taxes, which was the issue with the prior bankruptcy. They go on vacations regularly and pay for a timeshare.

Husband's siblings live close - we live away. The siblings are also image and status conscious and I fear will insist that we all pay into their old age care (just as our kids are reaching college age, argh). Meanwhile my parents are living in a trailer, not asking for anything. I really can't think about it much and just hope it will all work out but I'm deluding myself. My DH and I are comfortable and fine, but living in DC and with with kids there is not a lot extra.

You have a built in excuse -- just tell his sibling that you and your DH have to support your parents, who are living in an RV park. Mention your parents and their RV park whenever you see the siblings to get them used to the idea that your extra money is going to your parents. Even better if you are an only child.

[Anonymous]

I feel very fortunate my parents have been very smart with their money over the years and passed their smart financial habits down to me over the years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wondering what race and SES are the ppl in this post b/c I feel so sad reading these solutions.

They sound white to me.

Asian or Indian