Surviving financially after divorce with kids

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you really a “single parent” if there’s a father in the picture?

Single means not married so once they are divorced, yes she will be a single parent.

Sometimes I feel bad when my friends or family call me a single parent. XDH helps pay for daycare and I have 2 evenings a week, and a full day every week without my DD to just run errands or relax. But it is hard because all the other times, it’s 100% on my with no extra help. So it evens out.

[Anonymous]

Hello there!
As I don't live that close to DC, I can't give too much advice on where to live. I would definitely start out with getting a good lawyer, because he or she will be able to help you get the most out of your divorce settlement and arrange funds for you to live on until then, especially since your husband is the one unwilling to work on the marriage.
As a single mother, I won't lie, it has been hard, but as others have mentioned, I'd do it over again in a heartbeat, to be able to raise my son.
Don't be ashamed to reach out to Social Services, they have a lot to offer single mothers as well, concerning food, child care, help with utilities, insurance, etc.
Finally, build a strong support network, wherever you live. Trade babysitting dates with other moms so you can have some time to yourself. This is a great article I just ran across: https://list.ly/list/1xoe-managing-your-money-so-it-doesnt-manage-you. Hugs to you!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you really a “single parent” if there’s a father in the picture?

We will not be playing this game here today. K thanks.

love you

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have two children- one who will enter school in the fall and another who will be in daycare for 3 more years. I'd like to stay in my current neighborhood, but renting a 2 BR apartment is hard to find under 2,000 per month and that will eat up half of my take home pay. I haven't filed for divorce yet because I'm paralyzed due to the financial implications.

Where do folks live?

Single parents, how do you do it?

What support is out there, especially for women?

Because I know people will ask, my husband is unwilling to reconcile and I've been asking for years for him to go to counseling, alone or together, discuss emotions, etc, and he won't/can't. The strain of living with him is breaking me physically and I need to accept our reality.

I'm in a very similar situation. It is absolutely the worst, I didn't "want" this either (H unwilling to reconcile), but we soldier on. I've asked around, and Silver Spring seems to be the best bet to get a decent elementary school.

The hardest part IMO is identifying all the things you will have to do without. I asked on another thread about kids sharing a room and got a lot of feedback of, it's fine for the immediate but doesn't really work. It's interesting (and good) that people have been more supportive of the idea here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Because I know people will ask, my husband is unwilling to reconcile and I've been asking for years for him to go to counseling, alone or together, discuss emotions, etc, and he won't/can't. The strain of living with him is breaking me physically and I need to accept our reality.

I'm in a very similar situation. It is absolutely the worst, I didn't "want" this either (H unwilling to reconcile), but we soldier on.

Lots of selfish men out there, unfortunately.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Because I know people will ask, my husband is unwilling to reconcile and I've been asking for years for him to go to counseling, alone or together, discuss emotions, etc, and he won't/can't. The strain of living with him is breaking me physically and I need to accept our reality.

I'm in a very similar situation. It is absolutely the worst, I didn't "want" this either (H unwilling to reconcile), but we soldier on.

Lots of selfish men out there, unfortunately.

I'm seeing this a lot lately. Although I know 2 women that cheated and ended their marriages. Didn't end well for them. One friend is early 50's, we think her husband is cheating. I really hope not, but she's probably going to find out soon. What's mind boggling they have a great life and get along well. They can't afford to divorce because they are near retirement. That's the good thing plus he won't want to. She's not going to let on if he's cheating. Planning to mail the OW an anonymous letter to her address at work. Basically just stating she was seen with so and so married man. If it continues her kids, family and work will be notified. Then sit back and see what happens.