Do men and women get more of a craving for sex after 50?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Im 57...dh is retired , i am not. He bugs me once a week..i am not interested..menopause killed my libido..i pray he looses his libido ..

I don’t understand this. Other than sex, everything else we do to show love to our partner is not hormonally driven, yet we do those things anyway, whether it be out of a sense of responsibility, a desire to make our partner happy, or a willingness to meet his/her needs. I understand the impact menopause can have on desire, but I also assume you’re seldom if ever horny to make your husband breakfast but you still do it, right? What if yiur DH said his hormones have changed and he can no longer listen to you talk about your day? Bottom line, how difficult is it to take 5-10 minutes and give him a BJ or HJ, or assuming sex isn’t painful, to have intercourse?

b

This isn't a great analogy but if I go out onto the tennis court and the person on the other side of the net isn't into the game and just wants to get it over it's no fun for me. I may win the match but I haven't enjoyed myself. I want to play with someone who Is really into the game and can push it to three long sets and not a 6-0, 6-0 beating.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Im 57...dh is retired , i am not. He bugs me once a week..i am not interested..menopause killed my libido..i pray he looses his libido ..

I don’t understand this. Other than sex, everything else we do to show love to our partner is not hormonally driven, yet we do those things anyway, whether it be out of a sense of responsibility, a desire to make our partner happy, or a willingness to meet his/her needs. I understand the impact menopause can have on desire, but I also assume you’re seldom if ever horny to make your husband breakfast but you still do it, right? What if yiur DH said his hormones have changed and he can no longer listen to you talk about your day? Bottom line, how difficult is it to take 5-10 minutes and give him a BJ or HJ, or assuming sex isn’t painful, to have intercourse?

HJ, BJ, intercourse? How about romancing your wife and foreplay so she gets in the mood for sex?!? A good first step would be to stop whining and demanding sex which is NOT sexy. A HJ, BJ, etc all focuses on the guy and his pleasure. Maybe if you wren’t so selfish and self absorbed, your DW will want to have sex with you.

I wrote the post to which you’re responding and, guess what, I’m a woman, I also know e firsthand the impact of menopause on sex drive, as I barely have one now. But that hasn’t stopped me from recognizing how important sex is to my husband and making sure that I don’t let my lack of hormonal drive prevent me from spending what really is just a little amount of time a few times of week taking care of my husband’s sexual needs, which I consider part of the commitment I made when I married him. Similarly he shows his love for me by doing things that are important to me that I know he’d prefer not to do. As an example, several times a week I will ask him to rub my head or massage my feet, and he will always drop what he is doing and spend 20-30 minutes pleasing me, which truthfully is far longer than I spend pleasing him.

Also, note that the poster to whom I was responding said menopause killed her drive and she prays her husband loses his. To me it doesn’t sound like she is particularly interested in foreplay or being romanced in a sexual way. And that’s my point - people can make that choice for themselves but they should’nt also be able to make one for their spouses.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Im 57...dh is retired , i am not. He bugs me once a week..i am not interested..menopause killed my libido..i pray he looses his libido ..

I don’t understand this. Other than sex, everything else we do to show love to our partner is not hormonally driven, yet we do those things anyway, whether it be out of a sense of responsibility, a desire to make our partner happy, or a willingness to meet his/her needs. I understand the impact menopause can have on desire, but I also assume you’re seldom if ever horny to make your husband breakfast but you still do it, right? What if yiur DH said his hormones have changed and he can no longer listen to you talk about your day? Bottom line, how difficult is it to take 5-10 minutes and give him a BJ or HJ, or assuming sex isn’t painful, to have intercourse?

HJ, BJ, intercourse? How about romancing your wife and foreplay so she gets in the mood for sex?!? A good first step would be to stop whining and demanding sex which is NOT sexy. A HJ, BJ, etc all focuses on the guy and his pleasure. Maybe if you wren’t so selfish and self absorbed, your DW will want to have sex with you.

I wrote the post to which you’re responding and, guess what, I’m a woman, I also know e firsthand the impact of menopause on sex drive, as I barely have one now. But that hasn’t stopped me from recognizing how important sex is to my husband and making sure that I don’t let my lack of hormonal drive prevent me from spending what really is just a little amount of time a few times of week taking care of my husband’s sexual needs, which I consider part of the commitment I made when I married him. Similarly he shows his love for me by doing things that are important to me that I know he’d prefer not to do. As an example, several times a week I will ask him to rub my head or massage my feet, and he will always drop what he is doing and spend 20-30 minutes pleasing me, which truthfully is far longer than I spend pleasing him.

Also, note that the poster to whom I was responding said menopause killed her drive and she prays her husband loses his. To me it doesn’t sound like she is particularly interested in foreplay or being romanced in a sexual way. And that’s my point - people can make that choice for themselves but they should’nt also be able to make one for their spouses.

Most women are so used to it being all about them that they forgot the concept of marriage,

I give my girlfriend a back massage at least as often as we have sex. We are both late fifties so I get it is not that sex is not that important to her but it is to me, and she fulfills every need So I make sure that the back and to be clear after the massage i pull the sheet over her and let her go to sleep

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Im 57...dh is retired , i am not. He bugs me once a week..i am not interested..menopause killed my libido..i pray he looses his libido ..

I don’t understand this. Other than sex, everything else we do to show love to our partner is not hormonally driven, yet we do those things anyway, whether it be out of a sense of responsibility, a desire to make our partner happy, or a willingness to meet his/her needs. I understand the impact menopause can have on desire, but I also assume you’re seldom if ever horny to make your husband breakfast but you still do it, right? What if yiur DH said his hormones have changed and he can no longer listen to you talk about your day? Bottom line, how difficult is it to take 5-10 minutes and give him a BJ or HJ, or assuming sex isn’t painful, to have intercourse?

b

This isn't a great analogy but if I go out onto the tennis court and the person on the other side of the net isn't into the game and just wants to get it over it's no fun for me. I may win the match but I haven't enjoyed myself. I want to play with someone who Is really into the game and can push it to three long sets and not a 6-0, 6-0 beating.

PP you’re responding to and you’re exactly right, which is why I enthusiastically pleasure my husband, even thought my libido is essentially gone. Similarly he enthusiastically gives me head/shoulder rubs and foot massages. I wouldn’t be able to relax and enjoy it if he was actively complaining or if he was making it clear he didn’t want to be doing it.