Worth it to vacation with a toddler?

[Anonymous]

How are you guys getting through these long flights? We routinely visit the in laws (2 hour flight away) and my 16 month old is a DISASTER each time. We bring snacks, books, toys, even the dreaded iPad, and still he ends up wanting out of the seat so he can run around and "socialize", which we can't allow, and then he ends up screaming and we're "those people". I dread these flights so much.

[Anonymous]

My son is 12months and we're about to go on our third trip to europe.

The answer is DONT do cities. The worst time we had was in Barcelona bc there was so much we wanted to do and couldn't with a baby, the friction between hauling our ass to spain and "making it worth it" and handling the needs of a baby were not a good fit. Paris and Lourve is a good example--it can be dissapointing to go all the way over there and be forced to skip huge things.

We're about to leave for France and we have rented a beautiful house were the entire point is to have quiet time, play, bike, walk, go to the market--all things we'd theoertically do here except we don't and it's so much more charming there so it'll be such a treat. And DS will join for all of it. The goal is to make sure there is as little tension as possible between what the adults want to do and the kids. And I have found the way to minimize that is get out of cities.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How are you guys getting through these long flights? We routinely visit the in laws (2 hour flight away) and my 16 month old is a DISASTER each time. We bring snacks, books, toys, even the dreaded iPad, and still he ends up wanting out of the seat so he can run around and "socialize", which we can't allow, and then he ends up screaming and we're "those people". I dread these flights so much.

Had similar issues at that age. Took until ours were around 3 that they would sit and watch a video on the tablet. Many kids seem too wiggly from 1-3 to sit for that long anywhere.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:From day one our daughter has come with us. Period. If we wanted to go to the beach, she came. Fly to Florida? She came. We incorporated her into our life, and as such she's an amazing traveler at age 6, incredibly patient, waits in lines, and is a blast to take everywhere.

You're starting late, so be ready for some bumps the first few trips, but if you want to take the trips then why not?

My brother and sister in law never take their 2 kids anywhere. I swear they rarely leave the house, and it's fine, their call, but when they did decide to take a vacation it was a headache and a bit of a disaster lol.

Truly happy for you that your daughter is like this. So is our first-born child. If we hadn't had a 2nd one, we would have made the exact same comments as you, and possibly attributed her behavior and demeanor to our parenting. Whenever we do anything with her, she is fun, patient, ready for almost anything.

Second kid? Not so much. Difficult from the start, can sometimes have a great time, sometimes not. Have mostly figured out how to structure things to keep him happy, but sometimes misfire.

You can certainly help your children learn and manage things at the edges. But the idea that you can drastically change their demeanor and response to the world just through your basic parenting does bear out through personal experience or that of people around us.

We had friends who bopped around Europe for 2 weeks with a 2 year old and a 5 year old, happy as could be. The two year old literally never made a peep even if he was up until 10 PM some nights. That's just who that kid is, has nothing to do with their parenting.

I'm the PP you are quoting, and yes, we were blessed with a mostly well behaved child, but the point was we incorporated her into our life, we didn't make a new one focused around her. Yes, she's the center of our world, but we didn't stop doing things because we had a kid. Even if she would've been more difficult (and she has her moments lol) that wouldn't change our traveling. We love to travel, kid will come with. Kid will learn what to expect. We learn what to expect from our child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How are you guys getting through these long flights? We routinely visit the in laws (2 hour flight away) and my 16 month old is a DISASTER each time. We bring snacks, books, toys, even the dreaded iPad, and still he ends up wanting out of the seat so he can run around and "socialize", which we can't allow, and then he ends up screaming and we're "those people". I dread these flights so much.

Mine just turned 20 months and her attention span is SO much better now. She can finally watch an ipad game or show. We just drove 3 hours each way for Easter and it was incredible that she watched a movie and then played a game. We couldn't ever get her distracted by ipads before on cars or planes. She gets zero screen time normally, so this was definitely a novelty.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My son is 12months and we're about to go on our third trip to europe.

The answer is DONT do cities. The worst time we had was in Barcelona bc there was so much we wanted to do and couldn't with a baby, the friction between hauling our ass to spain and "making it worth it" and handling the needs of a baby were not a good fit. Paris and Lourve is a good example--it can be dissapointing to go all the way over there and be forced to skip huge things.

We're about to leave for France and we have rented a beautiful house were the entire point is to have quiet time, play, bike, walk, go to the market--all things we'd theoertically do here except we don't and it's so much more charming there so it'll be such a treat. And DS will join for all of it. The goal is to make sure there is as little tension as possible between what the adults want to do and the kids. And I have found the way to minimize that is get out of cities.

Agree with this, or go to a city you have been to before or have a reasonable expectation you will be able to visit again so you don't feel like you have to do it all. We are actually going to Barcelona this summer with our toddler but have been before, so won't be bummed if our vacation consists of parks and tapas and sangria.

[Anonymous]

Good God, no!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How are you guys getting through these long flights? We routinely visit the in laws (2 hour flight away) and my 16 month old is a DISASTER each time. We bring snacks, books, toys, even the dreaded iPad, and still he ends up wanting out of the seat so he can run around and "socialize", which we can't allow, and then he ends up screaming and we're "those people". I dread these flights so much.

We have twins. When they were under 2, we would schedule afternoon flights, and skip nap. Then we would go to the airport and have lunch about 45-60 minutes before boarding. Then run to the gate and board. Usually with no nap and having just eaten, they would sometimes fall asleep during takeoff. If not, they would be cranky and when we could let them out of the CARES harnesses, we would let them stand on the floor and play on the seats. Then when they got cranky, we would pick them up and hold them. It was rare that it took more than about 30 minutes after takeoff for them to fall asleep. The 30 minutes may have been a little rocky, but then they slept until time to debark. After 2, when this was less effective, snacks, books, toys, crafts (multi-colored masking tape is a wonderful plane ride distraction) were all much more effective.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We took our DD all over when she was a toddler - and still do. At 14 months we took her to Cuba, 18 months to Scotland, 24 months to Switzerland. Here are two huge pointers (one you can do and the other you may not be able to do) 1) readjust the time as little as possible. The nice thing about going to Europe and basically staying within about four hours of EST is that she can go out to dinner with you. 2) if you have a nanny - bring her with you! Invaluable.

LOL of course bringing a nanny on vacation with you makes it easier. Then you don’t really have responsibility for your kid. DCUM, you never disappoint. Hot travel tip!

Do you think people with nannies aren’t parents?

OP it depends on what you want. I had three in three years and didn’t stop traveling- now on ES we have amazing trips because they are mature and experienced travelers. Put in the work it takes to be able to enjoy life more. Just my .02 and everyone’s different, but it worked for em.

What are you referring to here? Putting in the work before having kids to be able to afford a great nanny to bring with you on vacations?

No, I don’t have a nanny I’m a SAHM. I just thought that the PPs comment was inane.

[Anonymous]

Not worth it to us. DD was a very unhappy camper in planes & cars despite us bringing toys, books, snacks, etc. We only traveled to visit family those first two years, and that was hard enough.

Now that she's 3, she's much easier. She understands what it means to be on an airplane. She can watch videos in a car. She can play on an iPad sitting on a plane. So we're starting to dip our toes into the vacation market again.

I don't regret not taking trips when she was young. More money in my pocket & less stress. YMMV.

[Anonymous]

bring your nanny

[Anonymous]

Go! You are tired and cranky at home with a toddler -- you might as well be tired and cranky somewhere nice. (I kid. A little).

Going to Europe isn't actually that bad in terms of time zones. If you shift 3 hours back, then you are only 3 hours ahead when you get there. So say you normally get up at 7, during the week before the trip, gradually shift wake up time to 5am. Then move back one more hour when you get there, and wake up at 10AM every morning. You are on vacation, no need to get up early, and you can do things in the evening.

We took our son to the UK for a family wedding at 18 months, and it was fine.

[Anonymous]

Depends on the kid. DC 1, sure. DC 2, not so much. She started getting better around age 4.5 I think?

[Anonymous]

We took our two year old twins recently to San Diego. The issue we had was that our kids would be tired for bed very early and then we were kinda stuck being in our room. I admit this is where a nanny would be great.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My son is 12months and we're about to go on our third trip to europe.

The answer is DONT do cities. The worst time we had was in Barcelona bc there was so much we wanted to do and couldn't with a baby, the friction between hauling our ass to spain and "making it worth it" and handling the needs of a baby were not a good fit. Paris and Lourve is a good example--it can be dissapointing to go all the way over there and be forced to skip huge things.

We're about to leave for France and we have rented a beautiful house were the entire point is to have quiet time, play, bike, walk, go to the market--all things we'd theoertically do here except we don't and it's so much more charming there so it'll be such a treat. And DS will join for all of it. The goal is to make sure there is as little tension as possible between what the adults want to do and the kids. And I have found the way to minimize that is get out of cities.

Look, I have family in the French countryside (Auvergne) so I get that it is beautiful and the food is so good. But honestly to just go to the country and chill with a small child, is it really worth schlepping all the way to France? I biked, relaxed, enjoyed cute markets on Cape Cod last summer and didn't have to deal with the hassle or expense of getting to the French countryside. OP, I would recommend starting with an easy, kid friendly vacation and then working your way up. Bay side of the Cape is great, as are many resorts. If you do go to Europe, I would avoid big cities.