Anyone call their kid a bitch or said she was acting bitchy?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My dad did when I was around 13. "You're a bitch just like your mother." I was being an annoying teenager, complaining about not wanting to unload the dishwasher.

I have never forgiven him and it has colored our relationship as an adult. It has been 20 years and it is still incredibly hurtful.

Wow. You might want to think about letting that go.

Obviously there's more to it. I agree it would be great if I could let go of all the hurts my dad caused me, but... I haven't. Suggestions on how to welcome. I've been through therapy. That statement just really sums up his treatment of me over 20+ years though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My dad did when I was around 13. "You're a bitch just like your mother." I was being an annoying teenager, complaining about not wanting to unload the dishwasher.

I have never forgiven him and it has colored our relationship as an adult. It has been 20 years and it is still incredibly hurtful.

Wow. You might want to think about letting that go.

Obviously there's more to it. I agree it would be great if I could let go of all the hurts my dad caused me, but... I haven't. Suggestions on how to welcome. I've been through therapy. That statement just really sums up his treatment of me over 20+ years though.

Oh yeah, and imagine it being said with a man 2x your size advancing aggressively on you, with his hand in the air, and a snarl on his face. Not said casually across the room. While your parents were going through a divorce and your mom was out of town with her new boyfriend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My dad did when I was around 13. "You're a bitch just like your mother." I was being an annoying teenager, complaining about not wanting to unload the dishwasher.

I have never forgiven him and it has colored our relationship as an adult. It has been 20 years and it is still incredibly hurtful.

Wow. You might want to think about letting that go.

Different poster: Hearing a parent spew that much contempt at you when you’re a kid isn’t a one-off. A million dollars says he never had a healthy or truly loving relationship with PP.

[Anonymous]

It is entirely possible to express your dissatisfaction with someone's behavior without resorting to name-calling. You need to teach her that. You need to model that.

And you also need to teach and model the appropriate thing to do if you make a mistake, like you did: you apologize, sincerely, with no "buts" or "howevers" or "ifs."

[Anonymous]

My mom used to call me a bitch all the time. I don’t tell her anything about my life I don’t have to. She is an immature, petty bitch herself who only thinks about how things make her look or how they impact her. We didn’t have a decent relationship until my late 30s and that’s really only because my children love her.

[Anonymous]

Apologize and do not excuse yourself by saying, but. "but I was angry" or "but you are being disrespectful".
"I'm sorry I said that. I was wrong" Then, say I love you and then add some sort of positive. be aware that you need to use positive affirmations to clear up the damaging words.

[Anonymous]

Op, you haven’t noticed any repeating patterns in your mother’s behavior towards your children? I only allow superificial contact between my mother and my children. She really shouldn’t have had children. I’ve been in therapy.

[Anonymous]

Meant PP sorry...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My dad did when I was around 13. "You're a bitch just like your mother." I was being an annoying teenager, complaining about not wanting to unload the dishwasher.

I have never forgiven him and it has colored our relationship as an adult. It has been 20 years and it is still incredibly hurtful.

Wow. You might want to think about letting that go.

Obviously there's more to it. I agree it would be great if I could let go of all the hurts my dad caused me, but... I haven't. Suggestions on how to welcome. I've been through therapy. That statement just really sums up his treatment of me over 20+ years though.

I'm with ya - there are no words worse than "just like your mother" when you know your parents can't stand each other. What helped me, OP, was to contemplate cutting ties, decide I didn't want to, and thereafter always remembering that the relationship was voluntary, a choice, and a gift. I'm 50 now and over the worst of it, but we will never be close.

[Anonymous]

You people are all way overly sensitive. My mom called me a bitch when I was a teenager because I was! OMG...who holds that against their parents for 20 years? Move on already. I also called my mom names back then and, guess what? She's not holding that against me either. Please, people, these are just words. If you are still mad at your mom/dad 20 years later, it's not because she called you a name. It's because you have issues and/or your mom/dad actually doesn't love you.

[Anonymous]

Are none of you capable of having a rational conversation with your children without resorting to name-calling? You need to grow up and learn to deal with your kids in a way that doesn't put either of you on the defensive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You people are all way overly sensitive. My mom called me a bitch when I was a teenager because I was! OMG...who holds that against their parents for 20 years? Move on already. I also called my mom names back then and, guess what? She's not holding that against me either. Please, people, these are just words. If you are still mad at your mom/dad 20 years later, it's not because she called you a name. It's because you have issues and/or your mom/dad actually doesn't love you.

Words have power, but luckily for you you're insensitive, and nothing means much amirite?

[Anonymous]

There is nothing trashier than calling another woman a bitch. Calling a child one—your own child?! You’re scum. Seek therapy and parenting classes and hope your daughter can overcome you.