Do you allow electronics during play dates at your house?

[Anonymous]

Yes we allow it, and the only time we have to set up a limit is when the friend has no/limited screen time at home. Those kids don't want to do anything else. Maybe their parents restrict them because they can't self regulate, or maybe they can't self regulate because they haven't had a chance to learn. I don't know. My kids get bored with those kids, though, so they are less frequent invites.

I actually like what I see/hear when the kids are playing video games. They talk and negotiate just as much as they do when they are playing with legos or a game outside. They figure out strategies to make the game "fair" if one of them is less experienced, and there is a lot of problem solving. They definitely aren't "zoning out". I would much rather have them play a video game than watch a movie or something.

[Anonymous]

I allow it but most of my 7yo DS's play dates are with the same child, who lives next door. So they are together a lot and do plenty more than just video games. DS has another friend who he sees a lot and they both love video games and that's really what they have bonded over. They usually want to get together to play together so they can show one another each other's "tricks" that they have learned so I allow it with him. Otherwise, with any other kids, I usually will try to gear them towards other activities.

I don't allow it at all with my younger son (5). For him, he's still learning social interaction with other kids so I want to focus on honing those skills before allowing electronics.

[Anonymous]

Yes. That's what kids do. I'm up front about it. If you are anti-electronics, video games, etc., you shouldn't send your kids over to play.

[Anonymous]

No electronics allowed for play dates. They can play board games instead.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:To all of the electronic naysayers. What happens when your children outgrow toys but have a friend over? You don’t let them play video games?

Board games
Basketball outside
Throwing a ball
Waking to town

[Anonymous]

I generally say no to electronics on play dates, unless the play date is "movie night" or lasts for a really long time. I tell my kids that while they have a friend over, they can play. They can watch cartoons or play on their iPad after the friend goes home.

It helps when other parents are mostly on the same page, of course.

[Anonymous]

I do not allow on play-dates for the most part but for example, with Friday's wind day closing I was just at my wits end with work deadlines so allowed a movie after a couple of hours (I consider tv/youtube/ipad electronics.) I think in our group of friends this is pretty much standard. When my DD's cousin comes over - her Dad/my brother has no restrictions so I do get some push back but she's used to me now and only rolls her eyes a little bit On sleepovers I allow a short while but then I make all the kids give me their Ipads (my DD 9 so her friends will be 8-11) so they're not up all night watching-even though I know at 9yo - they will be up all night doing something!

[Anonymous]

I let them do wii but not computer/ iPad/ youtube stuff.

[Anonymous]

Yes I allow it. It’s an important social thing for them and helps them build friendship bonds. I often take the kids out for lunch or ice cream just to break things up.

[Anonymous]

I tried to not allow it but gave in eventually, and that’s when I stopped having play dates unless my son truly begs for them (but he is an introvert so he doesn’t really). What’s the point if pkaydates are not ways to avoid electronics? I don’t need all the hassle.

[Anonymous]

Mom of 8 year old. I split it. They have to play with each other without electronics for the better part of the play date. During the last bit I will let them play Minecraft on the big screen tv. But no iPad, hand held a or phone because I feel like they wouldn’t interact as much. I have an only so sticking to this rule is kind of important for me because I want her to maximize her playdates as much as possible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have an 8yo son, and unfortunately, whenever he has a play date, he asks if they can play video games. This started about a year ago. So far I’ve had a no electronics during play dates rule, but I’m noticing that I’m the only one. Whenever he goes to a friend’s house, that’s what they do. I don’t think that’s right. Play dates should be for playing. But soon my son and his friends aren’t going to want to play here ever because I’m the mom that doesn’t allow video games on play dates. What’s your policy?

Why do you have this rule? It seems really arbitrary. This is a primary way that kids interact these days, so, yes, you're setting your kid up for isolation and possible ridicule.

Maybe if I had a better understanding of why you're micromanaging their interaction, I could give a better answer?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To all of the electronic naysayers. What happens when your children outgrow toys but have a friend over? You don’t let them play video games?

Board games
Basketball outside
Throwing a ball
Waking to town
[/quote

Who does this? Where do you live - Mayberry?

[Anonymous]

Nope. 7 yr old boy has never asked. I limit screen time. To me, this age is for developing imagination and social skills, both of which can be hampered by the crutch of screen time.

He plays chess, board games, matchbox cars or soccer during play dates.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes we allow it, and the only time we have to set up a limit is when the friend has no/limited screen time at home. Those kids don't want to do anything else. Maybe their parents restrict them because they can't self regulate, or maybe they can't self regulate because they haven't had a chance to learn. I don't know. My kids get bored with those kids, though, so they are less frequent invites.

I actually like what I see/hear when the kids are playing video games. They talk and negotiate just as much as they do when they are playing with legos or a game outside. They figure out strategies to make the game "fair" if one of them is less experienced, and there is a lot of problem solving. They definitely aren't "zoning out". I would much rather have them play a video game than watch a movie or something.

Thank you! I get frustrated when people assume all screen time is the same. There is a huge difference between playing a cooperative video game and watching someone else play a game on Twitch. Playing singing or dancing games vs watching a vapid Youtube channel about makeup or clothes. Playing Minecraft vs. browsing social media.

If you can't tell the difference between these different media, that's ON YOU, not on the technology.