8yr old DD found porn on DH’s ipad

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP you need to relax. What's the big deal?

To me the betrayal is that if he feels the need to jerk off, me or the idea of me or us isn’t enough. He has to consciously seek out and visualize other women. That’s the betrayal, it drives to the core of any insecurity I have about my desirability that in my absence I’m not what he chooses to think about. Rip away at me more if you want, but that’s the big deal.

EVery time you post, I totally get why he looks at porn

+1. I also get the visual of the sloppy housewife this poor guy ended up with.

[Anonymous]

Wow, not much empathy here. OP, I would have the exact same reaction as you. I cannot stand the thought of my DH going outside of our relationship for sex. To me, looking at porn cheapens what we have- so I get it. I’m sorry. I would let him know how much it upset you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I have but I don’t need to look at other naked men. My imagination constructing fantasies of the two of us is more than enough.

This is the most hilarious thing I have ever read. In my fantasies - my amazing, loving husband of 30 years is tall, fit, young, handsome, has incredible sexual stamina, a full head of hair, tons of money, and a enormous you-know-what. In my fantasy my wonderful DH morphs into an entirely different man with a different name. Sometimes he becomes my alpha werewolf billionaire mate, and you know how sexy and faithful and supernatural these guys are!!!

[Anonymous]

OP you don’t need marriage therapy you need regular therapy. I would be pissed that DH was that careless to let our DD see porn but the fact that he jerks off is just not a big deal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP you need to relax. What's the big deal?

To me the betrayal is that if he feels the need to jerk off, me or the idea of me or us isn’t enough. He has to consciously seek out and visualize other women. That’s the betrayal, it drives to the core of any insecurity I have about my desirability that in my absence I’m not what he chooses to think about. Rip away at me more if you want, but that’s the big deal.

Maybe he needs a visual to get off. Make some videos with him, and give him lots of pics for him to look at so he doesn’t need to look at anyone else.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow, not much empathy here. OP, I would have the exact same reaction as you. I cannot stand the thought of my DH going outside of our relationship for sex. To me, looking at porn cheapens what we have- so I get it. I’m sorry. I would let him know how much it upset you.

Well, guess what? You DH does this too. Virtually all men do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow, not much empathy here. OP, I would have the exact same reaction as you. I cannot stand the thought of my DH going outside of our relationship for sex. To me, looking at porn cheapens what we have- so I get it. I’m sorry. I would let him know how much it upset you.

Well, guess what? You DH does this too. Virtually all men do.

I am a woman and have no issue with porn.

I am sorry your young DD saw it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow, not much empathy here. OP, I would have the exact same reaction as you. I cannot stand the thought of my DH going outside of our relationship for sex. To me, looking at porn cheapens what we have- so I get it. I’m sorry. I would let him know how much it upset you.

Well, guess what? You DH does this too. Virtually all men do.

I am a woman and have no issue with porn.

I am sorry your young DD saw it.

DS looks at porn and that’s fine by me. I’ll watch the amsteur stuff occasionally. No big deal?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow, not much empathy here. OP, I would have the exact same reaction as you. I cannot stand the thought of my DH going outside of our relationship for sex. To me, looking at porn cheapens what we have- so I get it. I’m sorry. I would let him know how much it upset you.

Well, guess what? You DH does this too. Virtually all men do.

I am a woman and have no issue with porn.

I am sorry your young DD saw it.

DS looks at porn and that’s fine by me. I’ll watch the amsteur stuff occasionally. No big deal?

Oops!!! Meant DH, not DS.

[Anonymous]

Betrayal?! Are you seriously asking for marriage counselor recommendations because your husband looked at a porn site? Oy.

[Anonymous]

Betrayal?! Are you seriously asking for marriage counselor recommendations because your husband looked at a porn site? Oy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP you need to relax. What's the big deal?

To me the betrayal is that if he feels the need to jerk off, me or the idea of me or us isn’t enough. He has to consciously seek out and visualize other women. That’s the betrayal, it drives to the core of any insecurity I have about my desirability that in my absence I’m not what he chooses to think about. Rip away at me more if you want, but that’s the big deal.

So this is about you and your insecurities. Perhaps you should seek counseling by yourself.

[Anonymous]

Pro tip: don’t let your kids on your tablet and laptop. My daughter is not allowed to get on my iPad or iPhone. She has her own Amazon tablet she can do what she wants.

[Anonymous]

1. not all men jerk off to porn everytime they look at it. Sometimes it's just there to look at.

2. Get your DD her own iPad or be more careful...both of you.

[Anonymous]

Porn is not a betrayal though it is problematic that your daughter was exposed. I would actually suggest individual therapy for yourself if you find his porn usage so bothersome - it sounds like it's occasional and not an addiction.