Facebook brag vs reality

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why are you still calling him your husband if your divorce has already been finalized?

In context her word choice makes grammatical sense.

Otherwise, someone would have posted, "Why was your ex sending you flowers?"

[Anonymous]

This thread just prompted me to deactivate my FB account. I’m free!!

Hugs to you, OP, and thanks for the motivation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yikes....

I think Facebook needs to get rid of that darn feature.

Perhaps those memories can be very hurtful for some.

Don’t they know that not every memory needs to be rekindled??!

I totally agree with this. I have had some hard periods in my life and been on FB for 14 years. I can't imagine how people go through the loss of a child or a significant other, and FB just puts those days back in their faces every year.

[Anonymous]

Did you get fat

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Oh the story is 100% true, unfortunately!

I found out about the affair in November 2015 when he left an email open on his computer. It's all so cliche, it's pathetic.

I'm sure many people use Facebook for different reasons. For me, it was a way to keep in touch with family, who all live in another part of the country. I initially set up the account after having my first child (we have 2) as a way to post pictures, updates, and stories for family (both sides, mine and the in laws).

Was I bragging with the post? Probably, I admit. I can tell you that at the time I posted it, I was just intending to share with family that my husband made a really thoughtful, surprise gesture before heading out on a work trip to somewhere warm and sunny while I was going to be home alone with 2 kids in the middle of winter, lol.

My intention with sharing this story here on DCUM was just to sort of confirm what we all know to be true about FB.... that all is not as it seems. The same is true with most blogs, reality shows, and pretty much all other types of social media. In my case, my Facebook posts weren't intentionally trying to convey a rosy life to conceal the darker reality underneath... I couldn't have been more surprised about my ex's affair than if I had woken up in the morning with my head sewn to the carpet.

the Facebook memory feature has been a blessing and a curse. People who have been through infidelity know the gas lighting, trickle truth, and blame shifting that occurs in the aftermath of discovery (also very textbook). Sometimes the Facebook memories help ground me in reality, as pictures and videos are "evidence" of how things were, and not his strange revisionist version of our history.

Other times, like yesterday, the memories help me fill in the details of the timeline of the affair. It's really bittersweet... even though I've been to years of therapy, finalized the divorce, and have moved on, it's just surreal how little things like this can pop up years later and force you to revise your own version of events. Months I thought were "safe" memories of Before the Affair are suddenly snatched away. There is no way to get closure or resolution for these little hurts, it's just part of the journey.

OP, what a thoughtful post. I am sending you a warm virtual hug.

The longer I am on FB, the less I post. Politics? No one ever changes their mind on anything based on a FB post. Feeling wonderful about something in my life? Well, that's just bragging. Kids say cute things? That's violating their privacy. That leaves, what - cute baby animal memes (which I despise)?

[Anonymous]

"Kids say cute things? That's violating their privacy. "

I disagree. You'd tell those stories in face to face interactions with calling it a violation of privacy.

The worst ones are the chicks who only use their kid's first initial to post about them a la "Little H laughed so hard when his sister E spilled her milk!!"

Ahh, we know who you're talking about and dropping the rest of the letters doesn't fool the data miners.

Attention whore.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"Kids say cute things? That's violating their privacy. "

I disagree. You'd tell those stories in face to face interactions with calling it a violation of privacy.

The worst ones are the chicks who only use their kid's first initial to post about them a la "Little H laughed so hard when his sister E spilled her milk!!"

Ahh, we know who you're talking about and dropping the rest of the letters doesn't fool the data miners.

Attention whore.

Once your children care about their peers' opinions, then, yes - it is a violation of their privacy.

[Anonymous]

High school friend posts that they are moving back to the state to be near family etc... They show their kids doing well. however, one kid was busted for drud possession and in now considered a fugitive. Posted a picture of the water front outside their house and they are just house sitting. Etc

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I love it when smug marrieds get a slap of reality. Loooooove it! Especially the ones that act like they have all the answers when it comes to love, like the rest of us are stupid or something.

Completely agree