Family vacation too expensive

[Anonymous]

"Hawaii is out of reach for us" then tell her what you are willing to do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I love to travel and we've been lucky to be able to go on some great trips, even when our kids were younger. However, I wouldn't want to go to Hawaii with little ones. The flight and jet lag are just not worth it. Save that trip for when your kids are older and can appreciate it more.

I would suggest something closer for you and possibly a little cheaper (since it sounds like other siblings would have trouble with this cost too). Or simply tell her that you can't pull that off this year and you'll catch the next reunion vacation. Don't put her on the defensive (she is allowed to have her nice vacations), but just stay it straight and say you're sorry to miss it.

However, if you do give in and go to Hawaii and you have enough vacation time to do it, I would absolutely recommend that you fly to the West Coast and stay there for a day or two before getting on the plane for the last part of the trip. I would do it on the way back too. It will be easier on your little ones and you!

I can never understand people who do this. I'd rather recover from jet lag in Hawaii than in the armpit of southern California.

[Anonymous]

OP, it's your SIL, you can say whatever the heck you want.

I'd be honest with her. It's over our budget, and it's too much hassle to fly this far with young children. We'd prefer this, that, and the other. There's nothing wrong with any of your reasons, and family should know where you are on this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Husband and I like to go to vacation spots near us, preferably within driving distance. We can afford better if we reprioritized our budget but we don’t want to put so much pressure on ourselves to fork over more and make sure we enjoy it. No big deal if it rains all day if we only drive 3 hrs and we can come back any time. We often fly to places too but prefer to stay in the US so we don’t have to research so much, particularly with preschool aged kids.

SIL likes exotic vacations. She is very much into being the Jones’s.

Every other year we have to vacation together for a reunion.

She is suggesting Hawaii. We could technically afford it but it would be more than we ever spent on vacation.

I just don’t want to fly that far and spend so much. She is also west coast and I am east coast.

I’m thinking about just telling her that it costs too much for us. Not sure how she will take it.

She also goes on vacation a lot. She has some trip booked every school vacation and half the summer, literally. Also her kids are in high school and middle school and carry their own luggage, etc.

The other siblings might try to pay for it as well but I know it would mean a lot of sacrifices for them too.

Should I just say we can’t afford it?

Why do you attribute her liking exotic vacations as wanting to keep up with the Joneses? She may just like and be able to afford these types of trips. It sounds like you have deeper issues with your SIL.

Having said that, I agree with others who have said you have no obligation to go to Hawaii with her.

[Anonymous]

What is your DH or your sibling's (depending on how she is an IL) take on the cost and frequency of the vacations and why aren't they speaking up?