Do you point out your parents' hypocrisy?

[Anonymous]

No. I respect my parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wouldn't it have been easier to just put another layer of clothes on the child?

I don't call out my parents anymore because they're not going to change, they're over 70, and my main concern is just getting along in the limited time I visit them. Sometimes you have to be the adult and let things go. At the same time I limit my visits to them to how much I can tolerate without going crazy.

Exactly. I have no problems wearing a coat inside when I visit my ILs. My kids don’t get as cold as I do but we’ll dress them warmer too. I don’t think it’s cheapness per se. My ILs are in their early 70s and lived through an energy crisis when they were young and poor. They just got used to colder temps and are legitimately overheated at 70+.

[Anonymous]

Yes I do. Has nothing to do with disrespect or similar. I just don't like hypocrisy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:op: I started therapy last year. Had a giant rift with my parents 4 years ago when my 3 yo ds was in the hospital and I needed help with my 6 yo and 10 yo. Health crisis lasted 4 months, I got my mom to stay for 2 months by begging her every day, and my dad told her the whole time not to help me.

Oh, gracious--you have larger issues than this. I remember that thread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:op: I started therapy last year. Had a giant rift with my parents 4 years ago when my 3 yo ds was in the hospital and I needed help with my 6 yo and 10 yo. Health crisis lasted 4 months, I got my mom to stay for 2 months by begging her every day, and my dad told her the whole time not to help me.

Oh, gracious--you have larger issues than this. I remember that thread.

You were/are mad at your parents because they wouldn't drop everything and come live with you for months on end?

[Anonymous]

Ask him if he’s feeling okay medically because you remember him being too warm when you all felt cold at his house. If he says he’s fine then suggest that from now on he stay in a hotel outside of his home since he seems to have differnt temperature preferences than others.

[Anonymous]

You sure do love the drama, don’t you? Sounds like this isn’t about the thermostat, sounds like you’re still salty that they didn’t really want to come be your live-in maid and babysitter for awhile, back when your kid was sick.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You sure do love the drama, don’t you? Sounds like this isn’t about the thermostat, sounds like you’re still salty that they didn’t really want to come be your live-in maid and babysitter for awhile, back when your kid was sick.

Hello op's dad. So nice of you to join us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:op: The therapist says my mom enables my dad's narcissism, but there's no point criticizing him because if you stick a pin in his balloon ego, it deflates and you get rage. She says to limit contact and try not to be reactive to things he says.

Your therapist has more insight than we do. Pointing out hypocrisy rarely works with average people, let alone someone with narcissistic traits.

[Anonymous]

OP, is there something else bothering you?

Your OP just about describes most of us. We are all hypocrites in one form or another. Your dad' s rants are not that atypical. When we don't like someone, we tend to judge them under a microscope and criticize them for little things.

You are possible very young and inexperienced to not have gotten used to this kind of behavior in most people, or you have some other reason for being so easily irritated by your dad.

Let him rant and you just nod and change the topic.

[Anonymous]

To what purpose, OP? Ask yourself that.

[Anonymous]

Just leave it. It's his life, not yours. No need to go around correcting everyone else.

[Anonymous]

So, do you point out your own hypocrisy? Why didn't you stay in a hotel when visiting your parents? Or how about visiting at all, when you know you don't get along with them and just as they gossip BIL your are gossiping your parents?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:op: They're in great health. My son had a health crisis when he was 3. He's now 7 with medical problems and SN. My parents do not help. I thought they'd help more in a crisis than they were willing too.

This is the same for my parents.
I moved 2400 miles away for my DH job. My parents came out for the first time when DD was born and they expected me to play tour guide!!
We've been out here 15 + years. My parents have come out four times and usually for four days. (two full days and two travel days.) My mom has been absolutely NO help when I had two young kids and my husband traveled even though my mom was retired. DH and I would even off to pay for her plane ticket so she could come out.

My kids are now 15 and 12. It's sad they have little connection with their grandparents even though we visited them up to four times a year. (DH's parents dies when they were much younger.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, I do. I would 100% call my parents out for acting like that. Why not? They don't get a pass for ridiculous behavior just because we happen to be related.

I do also. Isn’t that part of being family? You can be honest with each other?