Who pays airfare for your family to visit your parents for Christmas/holidays?

[Anonymous]

We also have 4 kids, and we just don't go visit them. Between airfare, hotel, a rental car big enough to hold all of us, It would cost us thousands.

Yes, we moved away, but my husband was in the military and got transferred, so we didn't have a choice. Also, my parents "moved away" when we were kids (and never came back to my grandparent's houses for Christmas) so that is the example they have set.

[Anonymous]

You expect your parents to pay for you to travel??? Hmmm...that's a new one!

[Anonymous]

My family lives in the midwest. We fly to see them and we pay for our airfare and rental car.

My mother and sister / BIL will often pay for meals out for us, or activities in recognition of the fact that we spent a lot to get there. But in no way does it come out ‘even.’

[Anonymous]

Our parents always pay. In-laws too! Or at least split the cost , or give us some miles. We don't need it but it's nice.

[Anonymous]

I pay for all that myself and have done so since I was 17. It was my choice to move away.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I pay for all that myself and have done so since I was 17. It was my choice to move away.

That said my mother spoils us like crazy when we get there--nice meals, lavish gifts, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have one small child and one on the way and I don't visit my parents, who live out in the PNW.

I've been thinking about this a lot lately because I get sick of spending all the holidays with my ILs, but my H does not fly, I don't really want to shell out for the plane tickets, and the biggest factor of all is my parents live in a barely inhabitable place that I cannot stay in with small children. They don't really ask for us to visit as they understand these are the circumstances, but it makes me a little sad that it's not even an option. I think if I REALLY wanted to come they might offer to help with the tickets or at least an AirBnB near their house, but it's just such a stretch. They are always welcome to visit us but mostly choose expensive cruises (my mom) or to stay home instead (my dad, who then boo-hoos about never seeing his grandkid). Not much else I can do, though.

Why doesn’t your H fly? You only ever travel to places within driving distance?

[Anonymous]

I don’t get all of these people saying “You chose to move away so you should pay”. Don’t most people move away for college and eventually for jobs? It’s not always a choice to move, sometimes life just works out that way.
But yes, if adult children have the funds then they should pay for their travel. The issue for me is that my family on the West Coast never visits us for the holidays, if we want to see them we have to travel there. We only go every 2 or 3 years.

[Anonymous]

We drive.

The few times we've flown out to them, we've paid.

I would never, ever ask my parents for money to fly to see them.

For one we can afford the tickets. For two, they can't. For three, I'm an adult and take care of my own finances.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have one small child and one on the way and I don't visit my parents, who live out in the PNW.

I've been thinking about this a lot lately because I get sick of spending all the holidays with my ILs, but my H does not fly, I don't really want to shell out for the plane tickets, and the biggest factor of all is my parents live in a barely inhabitable place that I cannot stay in with small children. They don't really ask for us to visit as they understand these are the circumstances, but it makes me a little sad that it's not even an option. I think if I REALLY wanted to come they might offer to help with the tickets or at least an AirBnB near their house, but it's just such a stretch. They are always welcome to visit us but mostly choose expensive cruises (my mom) or to stay home instead (my dad, who then boo-hoos about never seeing his grandkid). Not much else I can do, though.

Why doesn’t your H fly? You only ever travel to places within driving distance?

He's afraid of flying. He used to fly but now we drive or I travel without him until he decides he's ready again. It sucks.

[Anonymous]

We pay, but that has meant that last year and this year, we didn't visit for the holidays, because we couldn't afford it. We were honest about it. Both times, my in-laws decided to come to us (they drove 16 hours).

[Anonymous]

We pay but my parent gift us a lot every year ($28,000) so it's not something we even think about.

[Anonymous]

We would pay but usually we buy my MIL a ticket to visit us since it's much cheaper. Plus she's retired so unlimited vacation time. Why not buy two tickets for your parents instead of six tickets for you guys? Cheaper and you can have a nice holiday at home.

[Anonymous]

I pay when we visit them and I pay when they visit me.
You can't expect someone to pay for your family but you can opt to keep your family at home.

[Anonymous]

When DH and I were dating and newly married, his parents would buy our plane tickets to visit them because we couldn’t afford it and would never visit otherwise. I think it’s ok for parents to help their kids out if they need it. But if you have good paying jobs and are pretty well established, hen you should pay your own travel expenses.