Questions to ask during school tours/Open Houses

[Anonymous]

The simple fact is that how you appear and come across do matter. People who realize this are much more likely to reach their goals. If there are parents in this thread who think this is "BS", don't dissuade them. It just enhances your chances during the app process.

Parents also need to understand that we are not talking about asking pesky questions or keeping our mouths shut. We're not talking extremes. It's about going into this situation and coming across as informed and interested. If you're not going to the website to study the school, then clearly you're not proactive and as interested as other parents. It's just like a job interview - if you haven't studied my company, then you're not doing your job.

[Anonymous]

OP here. Thanks for the replies. I have been looking at the websites for the schools this summer so I am familiar w/ them and have a few questions in my mind that are not addressed on the websites (like one school mentions a before and after school program but gives no info about it). The problem is that only a few of these schools have a parent interview so if I have questions, I would need to ask them during the Open House. How do Open Houses run? Is there a general info session for everyone and then tours through the school?

[Anonymous]

Every school does something different. I would think about what is appropriate to ask during an open house and what would be appropriate for a separate session with the Admissions person. Many schools are happy to give you a separate and personalized tour or to answer your questions in person or over the phone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The simple fact is that how you appear and come across do matter. People who realize this are much more likely to reach their goals. If there are parents in this thread who think this is "BS", don't dissuade them. It just enhances your chances during the app process.

I dunno. I thought it was BS and I've already "reached my goal" regarding admissions.

Know why you're there. You are trying to find the best school for your kid. You aren't pledging for a sorority. You aren't interviewing for a job. You aren't trying to show you're prettier or better dressed or more "cool" than the other mommies. You aren't auditioning for the "A Team." Overinvested and underemployed narcissists are, alas, not uncommon in the private school parent demographic. But that doesn't mean you need to become (or impersonate) one in order to fit in or or to help your DC get admitted.

Presumably, if you're looking for the best school for your kid, you have a sense of who your kid is and why the particular school you're visiting might be a good fit. You may also have questions/concerns/qualms that need to be addressed before you decide whether you've found a match. Here's where the PITA parent issue comes in. There are parents who bring up these issues in ways that make it clear that any problem down the road is going to be the teacher's fault or some other kid's fault -- certainly not our precious DC's fault. Don't be that parent.

In addition to open houses, private tours, and parent interviews, remember that you will also have a chance post-admission to raise those questions. At that point, the dynamic has changed. Instead of you trying to get your kid in, they're trying to get your kid to come. And, at that point, a variety of logistical questions understandably become more salient. In the initial stages, focus on whether this school provides the kind of education and the kind of environment/community you want for your child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The simple fact is that how you appear and come across do matter. People who realize this are much more likely to reach their goals. If there are parents in this thread who think this is "BS", don't dissuade them. It just enhances your chances during the app process.

I dunno. I thought it was BS and I've already "reached my goal" regarding admissions.

Know why you're there. You are trying to find the best school for your kid. You aren't pledging for a sorority. You aren't interviewing for a job. You aren't trying to show you're prettier or better dressed or more "cool" than the other mommies. You aren't auditioning for the "A Team." Overinvested and underemployed narcissists are, alas, not uncommon in the private school parent demographic. But that doesn't mean you need to become (or impersonate) one in order to fit in or or to help your DC get admitted.

Presumably, if you're looking for the best school for your kid, you have a sense of who your kid is and why the particular school you're visiting might be a good fit. You may also have questions/concerns/qualms that need to be addressed before you decide whether you've found a match. Here's where the PITA parent issue comes in. There are parents who bring up these issues in ways that make it clear that any problem down the road is going to be the teacher's fault or some other kid's fault -- certainly not our precious DC's fault. Don't be that parent.

In addition to open houses, private tours, and parent interviews, remember that you will also have a chance post-admission to raise those questions. At that point, the dynamic has changed. Instead of you trying to get your kid in, they're trying to get your kid to come. And, at that point, a variety of logistical questions understandably become more salient. In the initial stages, focus on whether this school provides the kind of education and the kind of environment/community you want for your child.

I agree with everything, but your first point. Even if you thought it was BS and prevailed, that doesn't mean the advice is still not applicable. Admissions officials are considering a lot of factors, including if this family would be a good fit, add to the community. Folks should strive to keep their anxieties in check and put their face forward.

[jhuber]

Anonymous wrote:John Huber's post (noted earlier) is good, but it does refer to what a school's culture is, and how you might ferret it out, not questions to ask.

To go a slightly different direction, in my experience, school cultures are EXTREMELY different. And the culture the school admin touts can be very different from the actual culture that pervades - driven largely by parents. When these clash, it is not pretty.

Thanks for the mention. Before too long I will be going through the process myself as a parent, so I'll have to practice what I preach! (Never easy.)

There are two "hidden" domains that other posters may have referenced that could be worth investigating in a tour / open house...
1. Faculty professional development. Funds committed to supporting teachers will have a positive and direct benefit to the students. So...

How much does the school support professional development financially? What percentage of the operating budget goes toward faculty professional development? Are there restricted funds supporting this as well? How many faculty take part in a given year? Does the school fund graduate work for its teachers? Have any of the faculty members led workshops? (A good question to see if senior faculty are active in their professional communities.)

2. Board/Head relationship. Much harder to probe, of course, as it's qualitative rather than quantitative. I once heard it said from a consultant that if the board chair and head are not in sync, you can see the effect on the students in the classroom. So perhaps the question is more about how much the board shares what it does, leaving for the questioner to intuit the board / head relationship.

Does the board meet with parents to discuss the strategic plan? Is there a strategic plan? What are the immediate goals of the board?

Hope these help,

John

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What school? I've been involved in admissions at ours and it's not like that.

I was wondering too. I worked in admissions for several years, and while we did try to 'chat' with parents at open houses the last thing we would do is take notes and judge the parents before we even saw the child or his/her profile!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What school? I've been involved in admissions at ours and it's not like that.

I was wondering too. I worked in admissions for several years, and while we did try to 'chat' with parents at open houses the last thing we would do is take notes and judge the parents before we even saw the child or his/her profile!

Agree. I've done admissions tours (as a parent) at our school. We were never asked to assess parents. The AD is most interested in making sure visitors have a good expereince and have their questions answered. I have also gone on tours at the HS level. Half the time they are done by students and I assume they aren't being asked to rate parents either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
WIS is a GREAT school but walked out and threw the app right in the trash. Wasn't feeling it, thought I would love it...

Interesting. We had the same reaction. Would love to hear more about your thoughts on this.

I had the same feeling, can you both elaborate more? Did you think children look sad and uninterested? They did not look happy. The previous day I toured Lowell and children looked so happy....

[Anonymous]

Not sure with all schools, but some private schools during Open Houses have volunteer parents around to help out the visitors and make the visitors feel comfortable. I attended an open house of Montessori School of Northern VA http://www.msnv.org/index.php and it was the parents of the current students who gave me more useful insights than the school administrators.

Talk to the parents and get an insider scoop of what the school -- its culture, policies and teachers -- are really like. Check with them their experience with regards to the acceptance process. I've talked with parents who said their kids were waitlisted and it took several weeks before their attendance can be confirmed. Ask them about what they like about the school, especially what experiences of their child. Most of these parent volunteers will give you an unbiased look of the school (of course, what you'll get will be mostly positive because their kids are in there now).

[Anonymous]

I wonder wonder why you are so worried about what they think of you.