Giving up. Going to bed. Not doing holidays.

[Anonymous]

He gets his male needs met by porn. I appreciate my home, my friends and my good food. I just don't care to put out effort/time/money for those who act like they couldn't care less. I'm a pleaser. My family seems to revel in not being pleased. They can have their way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He gets his male needs met by porn. I appreciate my home, my friends and my good food. I just don't care to put out effort/time/money for those who act like they couldn't care less. I'm a pleaser. My family seems to revel in not being pleased. They can have their way.

They probably don’t care half as much as you think they do.

[Anonymous]

I have always hosted Thanksgiving at my house.The whole thing cooking cleaning entertaining blah blah blah. My husband's family does not lift a finger except to bring a few side dishes they show up right before dinner and then leave as soon as it is over. I love Thanksgiving I love the turkey I love making it nice for my own family. This year I happen to be going through very difficult chemotherapy. I know there is no way I'm going to be up to cleaning cooking and doing all the things I usually do. What's going to happen is my MIL will offer to do all the cooking at my home. But that will not include any clean up or setup. It will stress me out greatly. So last week my FIL starts asking about Thanksgiving and has been told I didn't think I'd be up to hosting this year. Of course I forgot to mention my in-laws are hoarders and their house is absolutely not suitable for family get-togethers. Nearest relative is 3 hours away and she as well is a hoarder. I told my husband that I was not under any circumstances hosting Thanksgiving this year and that if anybody wanted to invite me to their home I would totally be happy with that or we could go out. Yeah it sucks but I'm not going to spend another year stressed out. I can tell my husband is very disappointed as are my children but unfortunately they don't cook or clean. I think what's going to happen is we're going to get one of those Whole Foods Thanksgiving dinners or something like that and rent a hotel room with a swimming pool and a kitchenette and party down. Sounds sad I know but this is my reality and I'm tired of this holiday stress. Christmas is also going to be a go away holiday for us. Last year we spent in the mountains in a cabin and it was most wonderful time I ever had.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have always hosted Thanksgiving at my house.The whole thing cooking cleaning entertaining blah blah blah. My husband's family does not lift a finger except to bring a few side dishes they show up right before dinner and then leave as soon as it is over. I love Thanksgiving I love the turkey I love making it nice for my own family. This year I happen to be going through very difficult chemotherapy. I know there is no way I'm going to be up to cleaning cooking and doing all the things I usually do. What's going to happen is my MIL will offer to do all the cooking at my home. But that will not include any clean up or setup. It will stress me out greatly. So last week my FIL starts asking about Thanksgiving and has been told I didn't think I'd be up to hosting this year. Of course I forgot to mention my in-laws are hoarders and their house is absolutely not suitable for family get-togethers. Nearest relative is 3 hours away and she as well is a hoarder. I told my husband that I was not under any circumstances hosting Thanksgiving this year and that if anybody wanted to invite me to their home I would totally be happy with that or we could go out. Yeah it sucks but I'm not going to spend another year stressed out. I can tell my husband is very disappointed as are my children but unfortunately they don't cook or clean. I think what's going to happen is we're going to get one of those Whole Foods Thanksgiving dinners or something like that and rent a hotel room with a swimming pool and a kitchenette and party down. Sounds sad I know but this is my reality and I'm tired of this holiday stress. Christmas is also going to be a go away holiday for us. Last year we spent in the mountains in a cabin and it was most wonderful time I ever had.

Dinner and swimming? Sounds kind of fun to me, actually. Make sure it's a heated pool.

[Anonymous]

People pleasers do this to themselves. No one--no one--cares as much as you do about whatever self-induced problems you cause for yourself. You think you are somehow "getting back" at them by dropping out of the holiday, but you are not. You will put alone in your room and then even more upset when they have a good time--without you and without whatever "traditions" you have insisted on over the years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've had enough of trying to be the good wife. I'm installing a TV in my bedroom, stocking up on Ambien, Clonopin, and sleeping between work sessions. Our kids are grown. I don't care how my husband feels. He can decorate, cook and entertain if he wants. I'm out.

Put some flannel sheets on the bed and a Lifetime holiday movie on the new TV and it's quite festive, actually.

Don’t forget the holiday booze and maybe some cookies.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have always hosted Thanksgiving at my house.The whole thing cooking cleaning entertaining blah blah blah. My husband's family does not lift a finger except to bring a few side dishes they show up right before dinner and then leave as soon as it is over. I love Thanksgiving I love the turkey I love making it nice for my own family. This year I happen to be going through very difficult chemotherapy. I know there is no way I'm going to be up to cleaning cooking and doing all the things I usually do. What's going to happen is my MIL will offer to do all the cooking at my home. But that will not include any clean up or setup. It will stress me out greatly. So last week my FIL starts asking about Thanksgiving and has been told I didn't think I'd be up to hosting this year. Of course I forgot to mention my in-laws are hoarders and their house is absolutely not suitable for family get-togethers. Nearest relative is 3 hours away and she as well is a hoarder. I told my husband that I was not under any circumstances hosting Thanksgiving this year and that if anybody wanted to invite me to their home I would totally be happy with that or we could go out. Yeah it sucks but I'm not going to spend another year stressed out. I can tell my husband is very disappointed as are my children but unfortunately they don't cook or clean. I think what's going to happen is we're going to get one of those Whole Foods Thanksgiving dinners or something like that and rent a hotel room with a swimming pool and a kitchenette and party down. Sounds sad I know but this is my reality and I'm tired of this holiday stress. Christmas is also going to be a go away holiday for us. Last year we spent in the mountains in a cabin and it was most wonderful time I ever had.

That's some bull shit right there. Sounds like it's time for them to get on it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:People pleasers do this to themselves. No one--no one--cares as much as you do about whatever self-induced problems you cause for yourself. You think you are somehow "getting back" at them by dropping out of the holiday, but you are not. You will put alone in your room and then even more upset when they have a good time--without you and without whatever "traditions" you have insisted on over the years.

Yea, I'm really wondering what her DH or adult kids "did" to cause her reaction...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ah, it's not the holidays. Not even close

This. Ugh.