Is 18 too old to get grounded?

[Anonymous]

Take the car keys and any credit/debit cards. He follows your rules until he moves out.

[Anonymous]

re: car keys, if that is his transportation to school, I'd think long and hard about taking that away. If he's already skipping, making it even more inconvenient to get there is not going to incentivize him. You may win the battle but lose the war if he decides, "Screw it, I just won't bother, then," in that short-sighted way 18-year-olds can have. Absolute priority should be HS diploma or all plans after that will not matter. It sounds like he is at a fork in the road here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How is son doing in school? I'd have a blind eye to some weed / alcohol if grades are on track.

+1. But skipping school and getting caught smoking and drinking likely teases out serious stupidity/degeneracy that could snowball to failing courses, and taking pills and various opioids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would not assume he is college bound.

I'd have a chat with him about alternatives to college. There are many good options out there for him that don't involve completing high school with a degree, and heading off to college, and if he plans to drink, smoke weed, and skip school, he should start making alternate plans for what he will do after this year. Maybe he can find an internship to apply for, or start looking into full time work somewhere, to be able to support himself when he turns 18.

What reality are you in that a hs senior druggy is going to even listen to mom about anything, let alone his future? Better find a "cool" mentor ASAP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have adult kids. Your son is 18. You have failed him. And there isn’t much you can do at this point. Harsh, but true.

I smoked, drank, and skipped class when I was a teenager too. I now have 2 degrees and make 6 figures. You sound ridiculous.

Ignore top pp, who is one of these cowardly internet bullies who gets his rocks off trying to make anonymous strangers feel bad.

[Anonymous]

My parents always told me if I ditched school, they would come and escort me to each class. This is what I would do if my kid was ditching. If I was really angry, I would do it in a bathrobe.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You can call it whatever you want, but in my house it's my rules. There will be no financial support if my kids skip school to drink and smoke.

Same!!

[Anonymous]

Becoming an adult doesn't mean rules of law, norms of society, and codes of a household do not apply to them. It means the consequences for violating the same are more serious. At the extreme, violating the rules of the place where you live, be it home, a dorm, a military barrack, a condominium or apartment complex, means you need to find a new place to live, right? So, that is what becoming an adult means.

[Anonymous]

Somebody who is drinking, drugging and skipping school probably shouldn't have free access to the family car....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My son is 18 but it's his senior year in high school. Yesterday I found out through speaking with the school that my son has been skipping multiple days of school. I also recently found weed and alcohol bottles in his room. I know's hes legally an adult, but he still lives under my roof, and he should abide my rules which include attending school, no smoking, and no drinking. His father says he's too old to be grounded, but he's also the more lenient parent. I think he should be grounded for a month, which is the same way I would punish my other 2 children (14, and 11). Any suggestions or thoughts?

Seems like you answered your own question. And yes, I'd say at least a month!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Where did he get the $$ for alcohol and weed?

Let's hope at 18 he has a job. How is this a mystery to you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would not assume he is college bound.

I'd have a chat with him about alternatives to college. There are many good options out there for him that don't involve completing high school with a degree, and heading off to college, and if he plans to drink, smoke weed, and skip school, he should start making alternate plans for what he will do after this year. Maybe he can find an internship to apply for, or start looking into full time work somewhere, to be able to support himself when he turns 18.

I love this chat. I am going to copy it for future reference. Just in case.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have adult kids. Your son is 18. You have failed him. And there isn’t much you can do at this point. Harsh, but true.

I smoked, drank, and skipped class when I was a teenager too. I now have 2 degrees and make 6 figures. You sound ridiculous.

Congratulations you sound like every oxford wearing, Sperry wearing, my father is a lawyer and I'll sue you type guy

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Where did he get the $$ for alcohol and weed?

Let's hope at 18 he has a job. How is this a mystery to you?

Or assume like every one else does on here and he just stole,it

[Anonymous]

The problem with grounding an 18 year old is *enforcing the rules* of said grounding.