Travel team parents

[Anonymous]

You say they have to drive by your street, but is it really that convenient? We've had someone who is a friend hint about joining our carpool, and they don't really live that far away, but it would add almost half an hour to the trip for us. If they were driving, our house would only be about a block out of their way, but I would have to head the wrong direction and then be stuck waiting through multiple cycles at a light that really backs up going the other way back past my house. I feel bad about it, but we really don't have an extra half hour in the morning. That said, we help them out when they need it, but we don't want it to be an every day thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Did you ask to join the carpool? What reason have they given you for not letting you join?

I have 2 kids that play on a travel team and I've been doing this for 10 years. I've never heard of anyone caring about their kid interacting with other kids based on skill level.

We had the opportunity to join a far away team that would mean rush hour traffic getting to/from practice and a home field 45 minutes away. In the end I decided it wasn't worth it and we stuck with our local nearby club. Any chance you could switch to a team that's closer to you?

Hear ya. This is the closest competitive club. There is a second club, but their coach said our DC would not be happy there.

Do you like their coach? Maybe the coach isn't the best person to ask about the other team.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You say they have to drive by your street, but is it really that convenient? We've had someone who is a friend hint about joining our carpool, and they don't really live that far away, but it would add almost half an hour to the trip for us. If they were driving, our house would only be about a block out of their way, but I would have to head the wrong direction and then be stuck waiting through multiple cycles at a light that really backs up going the other way back past my house. I feel bad about it, but we really don't have an extra half hour in the morning. That said, we help them out when they need it, but we don't want it to be an every day thing.

totally get that. but. they. have. to. drive. by. our. street. to. take. a. kid. home. In fact depending on which street they choose, our residence is just 100 yards away from the corner. DC is not a snowflake and can walk home from either corner.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Did you ask to join the carpool? What reason have they given you for not letting you join?

I have 2 kids that play on a travel team and I've been doing this for 10 years. I've never heard of anyone caring about their kid interacting with other kids based on skill level.

We had the opportunity to join a far away team that would mean rush hour traffic getting to/from practice and a home field 45 minutes away. In the end I decided it wasn't worth it and we stuck with our local nearby club. Any chance you could switch to a team that's closer to you?

Hear ya. This is the closest competitive club. There is a second club, but their coach said our DC would not be happy there.

Do you like their coach? Maybe the coach isn't the best person to ask about the other team.

The coach of the less competitive team is saying that DC would not be challenged.

[Anonymous]

They don't want you in their carpool. Nothing you can do about it. If complaining on DCUM makes you feel better, then go ahead. Otherwise, just move on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They don't want you in their carpool. Nothing you can do about it. If complaining on DCUM makes you feel better, then go ahead. Otherwise, just move on.

Bad morning? I posted here to glean any insights as well as to vent. This club is much different than DC's old club, where folks pitched in as travel is a family commitment. Wanted to see if folks have had experiences similar to ours.

If you don't like the thread, perhaps you should move on....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You say they have to drive by your street, but is it really that convenient? We've had someone who is a friend hint about joining our carpool, and they don't really live that far away, but it would add almost half an hour to the trip for us. If they were driving, our house would only be about a block out of their way, but I would have to head the wrong direction and then be stuck waiting through multiple cycles at a light that really backs up going the other way back past my house. I feel bad about it, but we really don't have an extra half hour in the morning. That said, we help them out when they need it, but we don't want it to be an every day thing.

totally get that. but. they. have. to. drive. by. our. street. to. take. a. kid. home. In fact depending on which street they choose, our residence is just 100 yards away from the corner. DC is not a snowflake and can walk home from either corner.

You never answered OP - did you ever directly ask if you could join the carpool? Or are you just passive aggressively making this into something else?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You say they have to drive by your street, but is it really that convenient? We've had someone who is a friend hint about joining our carpool, and they don't really live that far away, but it would add almost half an hour to the trip for us. If they were driving, our house would only be about a block out of their way, but I would have to head the wrong direction and then be stuck waiting through multiple cycles at a light that really backs up going the other way back past my house. I feel bad about it, but we really don't have an extra half hour in the morning. That said, we help them out when they need it, but we don't want it to be an every day thing.

totally get that. but. they. have. to. drive. by. our. street. to. take. a. kid. home. In fact depending on which street they choose, our residence is just 100 yards away from the corner. DC is not a snowflake and can walk home from either corner.

You never answered OP - did you ever directly ask if you could join the carpool? Or are you just passive aggressively making this into something else?

Sorry. Yes, I did, including new family, who had no idea. They all refer me to each other.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I see this dynamic on DD’s travel soccer team also. In this case, the moms all play tennis together at Washington Golf and use that as a reason to not expand the carpool to some families. Maybe the logistics of playing doubles and soccer carpools are real. I think it is more a point of pride to be able exclude others.

Holy crap. So relieved left Arlington.

Ditto. This kind of behavior is really shockingly prevalent north of Lee Highway.

You don't know all the facts. My sister's DC was on a travel team in a McLean type of area in Metro NY, but the coach recruited a couple of lower class kids "on scholarship". The one kid's house was in another school district in so-called "affordable housing", but was on the way to the practice field.

The mother asked my sister about joining the carpool, and my sister said no because there just wasn't room and it wasn't convenient. My sister came off as racist, but really she was just protecting DC. If the other family had entered the carpool, DC would have been riding in an old Ford Gran Torino station wagon!!! With the wood paneling, and the backwards-facing "third seat".

Meanwhile these kids would have been dragging their muddy boots and their lice-infested hair into luxury SUVs and minivans. Imagine the squeegee people and the panhandlers that would have come out to people in these vehicles.

The two kids are good players, but they haven't fit in. One has a single mother who was a waitress and on some sort of welfare, the other's Dad is a janitor and the mother works in a school cafeteria. When the other kids are talking about a ski vacation or two weeks in Costa Rica, these two feel ridiculous talking about their day at Six Flags, or somebody's quincera in a public park.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They don't want you in their carpool. Nothing you can do about it. If complaining on DCUM makes you feel better, then go ahead. Otherwise, just move on.

Bad morning? I posted here to glean any insights as well as to vent. This club is much different than DC's old club, where folks pitched in as travel is a family commitment. Wanted to see if folks have had experiences similar to ours.

If you don't like the thread, perhaps you should move on....

Hmmm. I guess I can see why they don't want you in their carpool. I was just pointing out that it is what it is... not much else for you to do. But, as I said, if you would like to keep complaining about it, then feel free to do so.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I see this dynamic on DD’s travel soccer team also. In this case, the moms all play tennis together at Washington Golf and use that as a reason to not expand the carpool to some families. Maybe the logistics of playing doubles and soccer carpools are real. I think it is more a point of pride to be able exclude others.

Holy crap. So relieved left Arlington.

Ditto. This kind of behavior is really shockingly prevalent north of Lee Highway.

You don't know all the facts. My sister's DC was on a travel team in a McLean type of area in Metro NY, but the coach recruited a couple of lower class kids "on scholarship". The one kid's house was in another school district in so-called "affordable housing", but was on the way to the practice field.

The mother asked my sister about joining the carpool, and my sister said no because there just wasn't room and it wasn't convenient. My sister came off as racist, but really she was just protecting DC. If the other family had entered the carpool, DC would have been riding in an old Ford Gran Torino station wagon!!! With the wood paneling, and the backwards-facing "third seat".

Meanwhile these kids would have been dragging their muddy boots and their lice-infested hair into luxury SUVs and minivans. Imagine the squeegee people and the panhandlers that would have come out to people in these vehicles.

The two kids are good players, but they haven't fit in. One has a single mother who was a waitress and on some sort of welfare, the other's Dad is a janitor and the mother works in a school cafeteria. When the other kids are talking about a ski vacation or two weeks in Costa Rica, these two feel ridiculous talking about their day at Six Flags, or somebody's quincera in a public park.

I really hope you are kidding.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I see this dynamic on DD’s travel soccer team also. In this case, the moms all play tennis together at Washington Golf and use that as a reason to not expand the carpool to some families. Maybe the logistics of playing doubles and soccer carpools are real. I think it is more a point of pride to be able exclude others.

Holy crap. So relieved left Arlington.

Ditto. This kind of behavior is really shockingly prevalent north of Lee Highway.

You don't know all the facts. My sister's DC was on a travel team in a McLean type of area in Metro NY, but the coach recruited a couple of lower class kids "on scholarship". The one kid's house was in another school district in so-called "affordable housing", but was on the way to the practice field.

The mother asked my sister about joining the carpool, and my sister said no because there just wasn't room and it wasn't convenient. My sister came off as racist, but really she was just protecting DC. If the other family had entered the carpool, DC would have been riding in an old Ford Gran Torino station wagon!!! With the wood paneling, and the backwards-facing "third seat".

Meanwhile these kids would have been dragging their muddy boots and their lice-infested hair into luxury SUVs and minivans. Imagine the squeegee people and the panhandlers that would have come out to people in these vehicles.

The two kids are good players, but they haven't fit in. One has a single mother who was a waitress and on some sort of welfare, the other's Dad is a janitor and the mother works in a school cafeteria. When the other kids are talking about a ski vacation or two weeks in Costa Rica, these two feel ridiculous talking about their day at Six Flags, or somebody's quincera in a public park.

Wow! I have no words.

[Anonymous]

Troll central.

[Anonymous]

As for carpooling. Mostly a pain in the rear once you get beyond one or maybe two at most.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I see this dynamic on DD’s travel soccer team also. In this case, the moms all play tennis together at Washington Golf and use that as a reason to not expand the carpool to some families. Maybe the logistics of playing doubles and soccer carpools are real. I think it is more a point of pride to be able exclude others.

Holy crap. So relieved left Arlington.

Ditto. This kind of behavior is really shockingly prevalent north of Lee Highway.

You don't know all the facts. My sister's DC was on a travel team in a McLean type of area in Metro NY, but the coach recruited a couple of lower class kids "on scholarship". The one kid's house was in another school district in so-called "affordable housing", but was on the way to the practice field.

The mother asked my sister about joining the carpool, and my sister said no because there just wasn't room and it wasn't convenient. My sister came off as racist, but really she was just protecting DC. If the other family had entered the carpool, DC would have been riding in an old Ford Gran Torino station wagon!!! With the wood paneling, and the backwards-facing "third seat".

Meanwhile these kids would have been dragging their muddy boots and their lice-infested hair into luxury SUVs and minivans. Imagine the squeegee people and the panhandlers that would have come out to people in these vehicles.

The two kids are good players, but they haven't fit in. One has a single mother who was a waitress and on some sort of welfare, the other's Dad is a janitor and the mother works in a school cafeteria. When the other kids are talking about a ski vacation or two weeks in Costa Rica, these two feel ridiculous talking about their day at Six Flags, or somebody's quincera in a public park.

My Bethesda son has played travel basketball with kids from families of lesser means and it has been one of the most valuable experiences in his life. We've also traveled to many locations where we are the racial minority and the neighborhoods make us uncomfortable due to bars on the windows, loitering on street corners and lots of police presence. And, we've learned that there are some great kids in those neighborhoods. Your post is appalling and fails to recognize the great value that getting out of you privileged bubble can provide a kid and their family. If there was a safety concern, that could easily be addressed by saying, "we've got a drive share plan worked out that is working, but we're happy to pick-up xxx on the way and we'll let you know if we're ever in a pinch and need another driver."