First date ideas that aren't so...awkward

[Anonymous]

Meet for a glass of wine at a restaurant. If things are going well you can decide to stay for dinner. If not, its just a glass of wine. Avoid doing something "different" as it becomes judgmental.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Coffee, 10 AM on a Saturday. That way, you can say you have plans later...Public place, small financial and time commitment. But enough to see if there is anything there. If you like, you can extend it.

Example (years ago): I met a woman for coffee on Sat morning; we hit it off. The date was extended until monday morning. We went out for about 6 months.

Another example: Met a woman for coffee...she did nothing but complain about her roomates, and past boyfriend (who may have been HIV+ according to her). At 10:45, I was able to say, I have to go...plans this PM.

OP here, this is actually not a bad idea. I'll get tea instead of coffee though (not a coffee drinker).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Meet for a glass of wine at a restaurant. If things are going well you can decide to stay for dinner. If not, its just a glass of wine. Avoid doing something "different" as it becomes judgmental.

How so?

[Anonymous]

10am coffee.
11am hot shower
Sex!

That will break the ice. Then enjoy a lazy weekend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
I know from the first few dates if there is physical chemistry. It's like an electricity or tension that is always there. It's fun and exciting. Just because it exists doesn't mean I have to act on it until I'n emotionally ready.

Lucky for your dates.

Again...you're wasting peoples' times. Gross.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I know from the first few dates if there is physical chemistry. It's like an electricity or tension that is always there. It's fun and exciting. Just because it exists doesn't mean I have to act on it until I'n emotionally ready.

Lucky for your dates.

Again...you're wasting peoples' times. Gross.

You're exactly the type of person that I don't want to a relationship with. My dating process would weed you out. You expect sex much earlier in the dating process than I want. To me, that shows a lack of respect for me and the choices that I'm making about my body. It's the lack of respect that you are showing that tells me you are not a person I want to have a relationship with. Your thoughts really do sound like a 16 yr old boy trying to convince his HS girlfriend that "everyone is doing it".

I can turn the tables and tell you that you are wasting my time by expecting me to have sex with you just because we've gone out on a few dates. If you're just going to drop me after 3 dates when I don't put out, why not just be upfront about it on date number 1 or better yet put it in your online profile. In mine, I state I'm looking for a LTR that is based on friendship first. I'm honest about what I'm looking for.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Coffee and beer are screenings not dates. Which is fine, but I also think they lend to awkward questioning more like an interview than really getting to know someone.
I think activities are better.
Great First dates I've been on
Pizza Making & bCookie baking a complimentary course
Paint & Vino
Bowling & Mini Golf
Rock Climbing & Roller Skating
Zoo/Aquarium/Museum ( best was children's museum)
Brought our dogs to the dog park and played.
Normally grab a quick bite to eat after.
I find conversation tends to flow more naturally when you are doing something together other than facing each other and sipping drinks.

Good luck!

As a guy, I can say the first two things on your list wouldn't excite me and unless something great happened, there might not be date number 2.

Do you know what things you have in common? Something like the newseum could be easy. It's not a typical museum and it certainly has conversation starters. There is a cafe there if things go well, you can suggest that or one of the pubs in the area. If the date starting to late for that, maybe a comedy club? Everyone loves to laugh and it always seems to put people in a good mood.

He who does not plan the date can not complain. He who is looking to be entertained like a 5 year old is not worthy of dating .

Chill PP. The guy is correct. I'm a woman and the first two ideas sound tedious to me, like the kind of activities you'd choose in a dying relationship just to try to prove that you still enjoyed doing new things together.

Also, it is thoughtful to consider the interests of the person with whom you are going on a date. If you can't do that, you are not worthy of dating.

[Anonymous]

Buffalo Billiards. Some place you can do an activity so it's not just talking and drinking.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I know from the first few dates if there is physical chemistry. It's like an electricity or tension that is always there. It's fun and exciting. Just because it exists doesn't mean I have to act on it until I'n emotionally ready.

Lucky for your dates.

Again...you're wasting peoples' times. Gross.

You're exactly the type of person that I don't want to a relationship with. My dating process would weed you out. You expect sex much earlier in the dating process than I want. To me, that shows a lack of respect for me and the choices that I'm making about my body. It's the lack of respect that you are showing that tells me you are not a person I want to have a relationship with. Your thoughts really do sound like a 16 yr old boy trying to convince his HS girlfriend that "everyone is doing it".

I can turn the tables and tell you that you are wasting my time by expecting me to have sex with you just because we've gone out on a few dates. If you're just going to drop me after 3 dates when I don't put out, why not just be upfront about it on date number 1 or better yet put it in your online profile. In mine, I state I'm looking for a LTR that is based on friendship first. I'm honest about what I'm looking for.

This is so individual. As a forty something year old woman, if we have had three good dates and there's been no physical contact beyond a good night kiss, I put the guy in the friend zone. I want someone with a high sex drive highly attracted to me. I have plenty of platonic friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can't imagine no dates in 11 years. I assume you have zero sex drive. Everything that is completely G rated on a date is a bit awkward.

NP. Why do you have to bring sex into it? Yes, we all get it....dating eventually leads to sex. But so what....many people don't date just to get laid. And if not dating because you are not emotionally, financially, or whatever reason ready means no sex, then so be it. Better to be in place where you are ready to date, ready to have a relationship, then just go date someone to get laid. If all I wanted was sex and not the prospect of a relationship, then there are services I can hire for that.

OP here, thank you! I'm glad someone understands!

+1. I also haven't dated for a similar amount of time. Preferred to focus on me and kids. No dating =/= no sex =/= no orgasms =/= no flirting =/= no social life.

I get tired of the assumption that if I'm not constantly having sex at every opportunity, I must not like sex. It's not true.

I also love cake, but I don't eat indisrciminately, every day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I know from the first few dates if there is physical chemistry. It's like an electricity or tension that is always there. It's fun and exciting. Just because it exists doesn't mean I have to act on it until I'n emotionally ready.

Lucky for your dates.

Again...you're wasting peoples' times. Gross.

You're exactly the type of person that I don't want to a relationship with. My dating process would weed you out. You expect sex much earlier in the dating process than I want. To me, that shows a lack of respect for me and the choices that I'm making about my body. It's the lack of respect that you are showing that tells me you are not a person I want to have a relationship with. Your thoughts really do sound like a 16 yr old boy trying to convince his HS girlfriend that "everyone is doing it".

I can turn the tables and tell you that you are wasting my time by expecting me to have sex with you just because we've gone out on a few dates. If you're just going to drop me after 3 dates when I don't put out, why not just be upfront about it on date number 1 or better yet put it in your online profile. In mine, I state I'm looking for a LTR that is based on friendship first. I'm honest about what I'm looking for.

I definitely know after three dates if there is enough physical chemistry with a guy to lead to sex but it often doesn't. It often comes down to the right time, the right place, being in the right mood. The physical chemistry is a must be I like the process of being romanced. If a guy isn't good at that the physical chemistry is not enough.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I know from the first few dates if there is physical chemistry. It's like an electricity or tension that is always there. It's fun and exciting. Just because it exists doesn't mean I have to act on it until I'n emotionally ready.

Lucky for your dates.

Again...you're wasting peoples' times. Gross.

You're exactly the type of person that I don't want to a relationship with. My dating process would weed you out. You expect sex much earlier in the dating process than I want. To me, that shows a lack of respect for me and the choices that I'm making about my body. It's the lack of respect that you are showing that tells me you are not a person I want to have a relationship with. Your thoughts really do sound like a 16 yr old boy trying to convince his HS girlfriend that "everyone is doing it".

I can turn the tables and tell you that you are wasting my time by expecting me to have sex with you just because we've gone out on a few dates. If you're just going to drop me after 3 dates when I don't put out, why not just be upfront about it on date number 1 or better yet put it in your online profile. In mine, I state I'm looking for a LTR that is based on friendship first. I'm honest about what I'm looking for.

I definitely know after three dates if there is enough physical chemistry with a guy to lead to sex but it often doesn't. It often comes down to the right time, the right place, being in the right mood. The physical chemistry is a must be I like the process of being romanced. If a guy isn't good at that the physical chemistry is not enough.

You sound normal. That bodes well for your future prospects.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Coffee, 10 AM on a Saturday. That way, you can say you have plans later...Public place, small financial and time commitment. But enough to see if there is anything there. If you like, you can extend it.

Example (years ago): I met a woman for coffee on Sat morning; we hit it off. The date was extended until monday morning. We went out for about 6 months.

Another example: Met a woman for coffee...she did nothing but complain about her roomates, and past boyfriend (who may have been HIV+ according to her). At 10:45, I was able to say, I have to go...plans this PM.

OP here, this is actually not a bad idea. I'll get tea instead of coffee though (not a coffee drinker).

Don't do the morning. I had a guy suggest this and I thought it was weird. He turned out to be a nut. Most ppl have plans at 10 am on Saturday.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Buffalo Billiards. Some place you can do an activity so it's not just talking and drinking.

Just had a date here, it was tons of fun!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can't imagine no dates in 11 years. I assume you have zero sex drive. Everything that is completely G rated on a date is a bit awkward.

NP. Why do you have to bring sex into it? Yes, we all get it....dating eventually leads to sex. But so what....many people don't date just to get laid. And if not dating because you are not emotionally, financially, or whatever reason ready means no sex, then so be it. Better to be in place where you are ready to date, ready to have a relationship, then just go date someone to get laid. If all I wanted was sex and not the prospect of a relationship, then there are services I can hire for that.

OP here, thank you! I'm glad someone understands!

+1. I also haven't dated for a similar amount of time. Preferred to focus on me and kids. No dating =/= no sex =/= no orgasms =/= no flirting =/= no social life.

I get tired of the assumption that if I'm not constantly having sex at every opportunity, I must not like sex. It's not true.

I also love cake, but I don't eat indisrciminately, every day.

OP here, this is why I haven't dated. My daughter is leaving for college so I thought I would give dating a try again.