Help me plan my life, DCUM

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:But why go into debt if you don't have to?

This. She already HAS a degree. She needs to use what she has to get a normal 9-5 instead of trying to do the student thing which will be more stressful for her and the kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All SAHMs and folks considering becoming SAHMs should read this thread.

OP here and I fully agree. I moved overseas for his career, which is thriving. He was financially controlling, emotionally abusive, and he cheated, which I found out about when I was pregnant with our second child. I had no meaningful employment opportunities there. He's given me $200 since I left and I am scrambling. Meanwhile he's a GS-12, owns a home and two cars - and I'm applying for public assistance.

When we got married I put all of my love and trust into him. I was a fool.

I'm sorry for your experience, OP, and I agree that it's worth considering this as a risk, but it's also unfair to claim that all SAHMs are somehow being irresponsible. I'm a SAHM and have a fantastic, supportive DH who has encouraged me to seek out the opportunities I've wanted and needed to do to keep up some former work connections I had so that some day I can go back to work more easily. We didn't move overseas, so I wasn't isolated and have had opportunities to get involved in some things that I couldn't have done otherwise while working and will ultimately open some new doors for me. If DH and I did split up, I have family that I know would be supportive, and I have enough experience and connections to make it work. Would it be really hard? Yes, but it would work, and it would be really hard even if I were working FT.

Well, how wonderful for you. How is this helpful to OP?

I think some of you are missing out on where OP said she got a job making $9 an hour plus tips. OP, are you bartending, serving, something like that? If so that means she'll have flexible hours and be making well over $9 an hour.

If it hasn't already been suggested, OP needs to apply for WIC and whatever else she can. Normally that will cause the state to go after the other parent for child support I think.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:But why go into debt if you don't have to?

This. She already HAS a degree. She needs to use what she has to get a normal 9-5 instead of trying to do the student thing which will be more stressful for her and the kids.

Agree, and this suggestion has been posted 2x already. And get a job that pays more than $9/hr. Where are you living/going to that you can't find a job that pays more???

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:But why go into debt if you don't have to?

This. She already HAS a degree. She needs to use what she has to get a normal 9-5 instead of trying to do the student thing which will be more stressful for her and the kids.

Agree, and this suggestion has been posted 2x already. And get a job that pays more than $9/hr. Where are you living/going to that you can't find a job that pays more???

I live in western MD. Cumberland.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All SAHMs and folks considering becoming SAHMs should read this thread.

OP here and I fully agree. I moved overseas for his career, which is thriving. He was financially controlling, emotionally abusive, and he cheated, which I found out about when I was pregnant with our second child. I had no meaningful employment opportunities there. He's given me $200 since I left and I am scrambling. Meanwhile he's a GS-12, owns a home and two cars - and I'm applying for public assistance.

When we got married I put all of my love and trust into him. I was a fool.

I'm sorry for your experience, OP, and I agree that it's worth considering this as a risk, but it's also unfair to claim that all SAHMs are somehow being irresponsible. I'm a SAHM and have a fantastic, supportive DH who has encouraged me to seek out the opportunities I've wanted and needed to do to keep up some former work connections I had so that some day I can go back to work more easily. We didn't move overseas, so I wasn't isolated and have had opportunities to get involved in some things that I couldn't have done otherwise while working and will ultimately open some new doors for me. If DH and I did split up, I have family that I know would be supportive, and I have enough experience and connections to make it work. Would it be really hard? Yes, but it would work, and it would be really hard even if I were working FT.

How nice for you dear, but none of this helps OP. .
You also mean you hope.
You have no idea how supportive your family will be until that time comes.
You have no idea how easy it will be for you to get a job even with your contacts, experience etc.
So sit down and shut up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:But why go into debt if you don't have to?

This. She already HAS a degree. She needs to use what she has to get a normal 9-5 instead of trying to do the student thing which will be more stressful for her and the kids.

Agree, and this suggestion has been posted 2x already. And get a job that pays more than $9/hr. Where are you living/going to that you can't find a job that pays more???

I live in western MD. Cumberland.

Ok. o why are you jumping right into nursing? Nursing is a great career, but it seems the best move right now would be to build on the skills you already have.

Which is your degree in marketing/communications.

What kinds of jobs are you applying for?

[Anonymous]

How far are you willing to travel?

What previous job/titles have you held?

[Anonymous]

I'm sorry for your tough situation op. You sound like you are being strong all things considered. I would apply for any and all jobs you can find. Use babysitters to go on interviews, or see if your mom can at least help out with that. I wouldn't jump into a degree program right now when things are chaotic and you shouldn't be making any more big life decisions right now. I would also file for separation and get a court order for the child support so that it will start accumulating right away.

[Anonymous]

Nursing is a fantastic career, but the schooling can be intense. It would be a lot to handle while working and parenting; the pace of your education may be slower in comparison to your peers as you may only be able to attend school part time. Also, something to keep in mind is that many nurses start out doing the night shift, so that may result in a need for overnight childcare after school. If you're one to complete your long term goals I would go for it, but know that the next few years of your life will be challenging and difficult.

[Anonymous]

What college did you go to?

You don't have to post the name here, but that could be an avenue to a job.

Sometimes is just enough you have the same alma mater.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:But why go into debt if you don't have to?

This. She already HAS a degree. She needs to use what she has to get a normal 9-5 instead of trying to do the student thing which will be more stressful for her and the kids.

Agree, and this suggestion has been posted 2x already. And get a job that pays more than $9/hr. Where are you living/going to that you can't find a job that pays more???

I live in western MD. Cumberland.

Can you move?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:But why go into debt if you don't have to?

This. She already HAS a degree. She needs to use what she has to get a normal 9-5 instead of trying to do the student thing which will be more stressful for her and the kids.

Agree, and this suggestion has been posted 2x already. And get a job that pays more than $9/hr. Where are you living/going to that you can't find a job that pays more???

I live in western MD. Cumberland.

Can you move?

I just signed a lease. I moved here for the low COL and to go to nursing school. I have filed for child support but as I indicated (I think) it might be a complicated process because my STBX is overseas. I'm filing for public assistance in the meantime.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:But why go into debt if you don't have to?

This. She already HAS a degree. She needs to use what she has to get a normal 9-5 instead of trying to do the student thing which will be more stressful for her and the kids.

Agree, and this suggestion has been posted 2x already. And get a job that pays more than $9/hr. Where are you living/going to that you can't find a job that pays more???

I live in western MD. Cumberland.

Can you move?

I just signed a lease. I moved here for the low COL and to go to nursing school. I have filed for child support but as I indicated (I think) it might be a complicated process because my STBX is overseas. I'm filing for public assistance in the meantime.

Why?
Why would you move to a town with no job prospects.
Knowing you have 3 people to support.
Paying for school will be difficult because you already have a degree?
You don't seem like you think thing through at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:But why go into debt if you don't have to?

This. She already HAS a degree. She needs to use what she has to get a normal 9-5 instead of trying to do the student thing which will be more stressful for her and the kids.

Agree, and this suggestion has been posted 2x already. And get a job that pays more than $9/hr. Where are you living/going to that you can't find a job that pays more???

I live in western MD. Cumberland.

Can you move?

I just signed a lease. I moved here for the low COL and to go to nursing school. I have filed for child support but as I indicated (I think) it might be a complicated process because my STBX is overseas. I'm filing for public assistance in the meantime.

Why?
Why would you move to a town with no job prospects.
Knowing you have 3 people to support.
Paying for school will be difficult because you already have a degree?
You don't seem like you think thing through at all.

I had no job prospects overseas either. My family is in DC - way more expensive. I moved here because one of my oldest and closest friends lives here.

[Anonymous]

FYI this is why I'm becoming a nurse:

http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/657193.page