Is it safe to carry a child on your shoulders?

[Anonymous]

Seriously? Some of you are so paranoid that your children have never had the joy of riding on your shoulders? Do you keep them in a bubble? Do they wear knee pads when they crawl and helmets as they learn to walk?

Just last weekend DH and I ran, yes ran around the beach carrying our twins on our shoulders chasing each other. We all had fun. Oh, and they also ate some sand. I'm sure some of you would chastise me for exposing them to potential parasites and germs. They sat in the 74 degree surf....some would say I put them at risk for hypothermia. Then DH showered with both of them crawling around in the bath tub without any padding. Some of you would say we risked death and dismemberment at every turn. I say we had a great family weekend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He is a very agile athlete, nationally ranked in his youth, and is not at all klutzy.

My uncle broke track records in high school, and he was a strong swimmer. He drowned at age 18 when he swam in a river - he underestimated the current. The argument that your husband is amazingly agile therefore he could never let your child fall is delusional. I don't care how agile the man is, he absolutely could have a mishap with serious consequences.

[Anonymous]

I could look away for a moment when I am driving because I am giving in to my kids' request to change the song on the iPod. It could be disastrous - fatal or a lifetime as a vegetable. I think I should never let them leave the house and coat them in bubble wrap, knee pads and helmets and make sure they only eat soft foods so they will not choke.

Some fun worth having is worth the risk, like running down the beach with your mom, your dad and your twin, or running down a mountain path with your dad because you started a game with your sister, your dog and dad that everyone runs down all the hills.

[Anonymous]

Would this same group acknowledge that infant slings are at least equally dangerous?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Would this same group acknowledge that infant slings are at least equally dangerous?

7 week old DD fell out of her sling yesterday and landed head first. She's fine and I put her right back in. I've also taken the kids in cabs without a carseat and DH rides with our older DD on his shoulders with her upside-down. I even put plastic tupperware in the microwave. I must be a "high-risk" parent.

[Anonymous]

I always like how, as soon as you say you don't do one thing because it makes you nervous or you don't feel like it's safe enough - in this case, putting your kids on your shoulders - you must keep your child in a helmet and bubble wrap all the time. Perspective, folks. Yep, my toddler's eaten more than his fair share of dirt. He fell out of his sling once as I was leaning over and, aside from the initial surprise, we hardly blinked. I let him run up and down a cement wheelchair ramp just knowing he was going to bite, and lo and behold, he bit it and skinned his knee. But I don't put him on my shoulders because it doesn't feel safe to me.

We all choose our battles. Let it go.

[Anonymous]

I also hate those posts that usually include the word "gasp." It really hurts your image as bad-ass, risk taking parents because I can't help but think of Steve Martin convincing us he's a wild and crazy guy. Wooooo, you ride your kids on your shoulders and microwave tupperware. OOOooooooooo, so cool!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I also hate those posts that usually include the word "gasp." It really hurts your image as bad-ass, risk taking parents because I can't help but think of Steve Martin convincing us he's a wild and crazy guy. Wooooo, you ride your kids on your shoulders and microwave tupperware. OOOooooooooo, so cool!!!

Well, I can't stand the judgemental "We don't do this and no responsible, reasonable parent would ever consider doing XX" posts. It goes both ways.

[Anonymous]

I am reminded of that line from Finding Nemo, when Marlin says something like how he promised Nemo he would never let anything happen to him, and Dory says how stupid that is because if you never let anything happen to him, nothing would ever happen to him.

It's not verbatim; perhaps those of you with DCs currently addicted to Nemo can correct the quote.

mom of a nemo addicted child here:

you got the quote pretty close to verbatim!

i'm not wrapping my kid in bubble wrap just yet (though i would like to!)...but as far as things "never happening to him" go, i'd like NOT FALLING FROM 6 FEET IN THE AIR to be on that list. really, it's a risk with really ugly consequences.

[Anonymous]

Mom of an older kid here. At some point your child may do something that causes them to fall from six feet off the ground anyway, like try and parchute with an umbrella out of a tree, for example. Keep living.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Mom of an older kid here. At some point your child may do something that causes them to fall from six feet off the ground anyway, like try and parchute with an umbrella out of a tree, for example. Keep living.

Yep. Entirely possible. My little one's only two and I can already see him doing this. I love that he's a little fearless. But I probably won't put him in the tree or hand him the umbrella.

[Anonymous]

I've been trying to Google this supposed threat to child safety and I'm having no luck.

As someone who frequently hauls her children around on her shoulders, I'm surprised by the assumption that a kid would simply drop straight from a parent's shoulders down to the ground. If you felt your child slipping, wouldn't you bend and twist and try to grab her or him?

[Anonymous]

To answer 11:41 - yes, you would, though you may not be that successful. This happened to me. At 18+ months DD fell backwards off my shoulders while I was going up parking garage stairs in flip flops and I tripped on the first step up from the landing. I was an idiot, and having her tumble backwards onto concrete was the scariest moment of my (relatively short) parenting life. Luckily, while I couldn't catch her (I had been holding onto her ankles), I was able to break her fall with my back and leg, and she suffered nothing worse than a scare and a small scratch on her face - though it also meant a 3+ hour visit to the ER for us to get her checked out.

But even with that, I still occasionally let her ride on my shoulders because she loves it - but I am WAY more conscious of the risk and more careful about how I do it. No more riding if Mom's in flipflops - basically only if I'm in really secure shoes like sneakers, *definitely* no stairs, I try to keep my arms around her back / very firmly grabbing onto her, and most importantly, I am keeping my attention on her and what I'm doing. Before I had treated it as no big deal - now if she's on my shoulders, that is THE task I am engaged in.

[Anonymous]

Isn't the conclusion always the same one - you make decisions regarding safety depending on the development and temperament of your child, and the environment, and know that the factors that are involved are dynamic and so you need to in the mindset of re-evaluating the risks as those factors change.

I am 5' 2" and my 4 year old is 42 inches tall and at least 45 lbs. So I don't feel comfortable putting him on my shoulders. However, his dad is 6' 2" and he holds onto his hands and that seems fine to me. It seems to be it would be fine if you're holding the child's hands.

We just decide what level of risk is acceptable to us. There's no reason to berate anyone for those decisions.

[Anonymous]

The risk is not of dropping the child, but rather of the adult, no matter how strong, falling.