Emergency contact when you don't have friends?

[Anonymous]

I would choose someone you're kind of acquainted with & want to know better.

When you ask them if it's ok to put them as one of your contacts, use it as a chance to make some plans too!

I've been there sort of. And I've been the person that was asked (and I didn't know the mom super well). Since she asked me I've made it a thing to be way more friendly with her. Realized she was probably looking for more friends. Now one of my best friends!! Although she will be moving soon.

[Anonymous]

What about another parent at the school? Use the ask as a way to get to know them better. Does your kid have a friend they like especially?

At our (co-op) preschool, most parents "authorize" all the other class parents to pick up on their behalf to simplify matters for playdates, etc. Most people are glad to pitch in if someone is running late, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I disagree with many PPs and feel this should be someone with an actual ability to pick up your child.

Great. What if there is literally NO ONE?

Can you join a church or moms group and try to meet some people (easier than it sounds sometimes I know)? Can you get a sitter for your child and ask the sitter to be the emergency contact?

We're members of a church. We still don't know anyone there. Moms groups only meet during the work day. A sitter? I wouldn't even know how to find one.

The point is, it's possible for people to simply not know anyone local. It's reality for a lot of people.

O.k. but you came from somewhere before this town. Is there NO ONE out there anywhere - either a relative or old friend that could serve as your emergency contact? And as far as having a back up to pick your child up from school, maybe try talking to the school or even your church office.

If you live in a neighborhood maybe post a request for sitter recommendations on your listserv.

Of course. But no one local.

And listserve. LOL...not everwhere is like DC.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I disagree with many PPs and feel this should be someone with an actual ability to pick up your child.

Great. What if there is literally NO ONE?

Can you join a church or moms group and try to meet some people (easier than it sounds sometimes I know)? Can you get a sitter for your child and ask the sitter to be the emergency contact?

We're members of a church. We still don't know anyone there. Moms groups only meet during the work day. A sitter? I wouldn't even know how to find one.

The point is, it's possible for people to simply not know anyone local. It's reality for a lot of people.

O.k. but you came from somewhere before this town. Is there NO ONE out there anywhere - either a relative or old friend that could serve as your emergency contact? And as far as having a back up to pick your child up from school, maybe try talking to the school or even your church office.

If you live in a neighborhood maybe post a request for sitter recommendations on your listserv.

Of course. But no one local.

And listserve. LOL...not everwhere is like DC.

I don't know how old your kids are but if you have young children you really need to try to get to know someone. Can you talk to some people at your church, at your child's school? I think you would be fine to list an out of town relative as an emergency contact and someone local as a back up for pick up. Plus, you really could use a break from being the parent on duty all of the time so having a sitter lined up would be nice.

[Anonymous]

I'm OP. I will share because others are curious. I did have lots of friends in DC when I was in grad school, but they all moved away. I am in a new church because I married someone of a different faith, and have new neighbors because we moved to a new building when we had our baby. I like my new congregation and neighbors, and hope to get beyond small talk soon. Before our baby, I had a tough time with infertility and retreated from everyone but my far-away best friends and family. Now I relate to the military moms out there because I feel like I only have my demanding career and my little, awesome nuclear family here in DC. I like PPs' ideas of using colleagues and trying to build a friendship with someone. I am also happy that others hate the form, too! Thank you!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm OP. I will share because others are curious. I did have lots of friends in DC when I was in grad school, but they all moved away. I am in a new church because I married someone of a different faith, and have new neighbors because we moved to a new building when we had our baby. I like my new congregation and neighbors, and hope to get beyond small talk soon. Before our baby, I had a tough time with infertility and retreated from everyone but my far-away best friends and family. Now I relate to the military moms out there because I feel like I only have my demanding career and my little, awesome nuclear family here in DC. I like PPs' ideas of using colleagues and trying to build a friendship with someone. I am also happy that others hate the form, too! Thank you!

What about your pastor?

[Anonymous]

Just wanted to commiserate OP - luckily another mom in my PACE group was in the same position so we are each other's emergency backup. Could you put something out on a neighborhood message board or listserv with this problem - maybe asking if anyone else is new to the area and needs to grow their "village?" I bet you will find others

[Anonymous]

I use my SIL and BIL even though they live about 4 hours away. It's stupid and I hate it. I resisted filling it out at DS's day care until they kept hounding me about it. We all have cell phones on us 24/7 these days so I don't really understand the need for this "Speaker of the House becoming President" level of emergency contact.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I use my SIL and BIL even though they live about 4 hours away. It's stupid and I hate it. I resisted filling it out at DS's day care until they kept hounding me about it. We all have cell phones on us 24/7 these days so I don't really understand the need for this "Speaker of the House becoming President" level of emergency contact.

I hear you and I would have done the same. Even if you name someone local, if the school called them that person may not be able to drop whatever they are doing to come and pick up your kid.

[Anonymous]

Classmate's mom or neighbors.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I use my SIL and BIL even though they live about 4 hours away. It's stupid and I hate it. I resisted filling it out at DS's day care until they kept hounding me about it. We all have cell phones on us 24/7 these days so I don't really understand the need for this "Speaker of the House becoming President" level of emergency contact.

I hear you and I would have done the same. Even if you name someone local, if the school called them that person may not be able to drop whatever they are doing to come and pick up your kid.

PP here - they have my cell phone number, my work phone number, my work main phone number where the receptionist can have me paged over the intercom, my husband's phone number, my husband's work phone number, and my husband's work cell phone. That's enough, lol.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I use my SIL and BIL even though they live about 4 hours away. It's stupid and I hate it. I resisted filling it out at DS's day care until they kept hounding me about it. We all have cell phones on us 24/7 these days so I don't really understand the need for this "Speaker of the House becoming President" level of emergency contact.

I hear you and I would have done the same. Even if you name someone local, if the school called them that person may not be able to drop whatever they are doing to come and pick up your kid.

PP here - they have my cell phone number, my work phone number, my work main phone number where the receptionist can have me paged over the intercom, my husband's phone number, my husband's work phone number, and my husband's work cell phone. That's enough, lol.

That's assuming you weren't in a car accident, etc.

The time this becomes important is that week where your husband is out of state for a work event, and god forbid, but you are in a car accident, and school or daycare has your child, and it is 6 PM. Who does your child go home with in this situation?

If you don't have ANYONE willing to pick up your child in this situation, OK I understand but I would definitely spend the nest 3 months trying to cultivate some local friendships. These things are important once you have children.

[Anonymous]

I use my mother and older sister. They live in the Midwest, but I trust them to know what to do in any emergency situation no matter the distance. If I needed someone local, I would list one or two mothers of my son's friends; we are 'friendly', but not friends even though I'd consider them likeminded people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I use my SIL and BIL even though they live about 4 hours away. It's stupid and I hate it. I resisted filling it out at DS's day care until they kept hounding me about it. We all have cell phones on us 24/7 these days so I don't really understand the need for this "Speaker of the House becoming President" level of emergency contact.

I hear you and I would have done the same. Even if you name someone local, if the school called them that person may not be able to drop whatever they are doing to come and pick up your kid.

PP here - they have my cell phone number, my work phone number, my work main phone number where the receptionist can have me paged over the intercom, my husband's phone number, my husband's work phone number, and my husband's work cell phone. That's enough, lol.

That's assuming you weren't in a car accident, etc.

The time this becomes important is that week where your husband is out of state for a work event, and god forbid, but you are in a car accident, and school or daycare has your child, and it is 6 PM. Who does your child go home with in this situation?

If you don't have ANYONE willing to pick up your child in this situation, OK I understand but I would definitely spend the nest 3 months trying to cultivate some local friendships. These things are important once you have children.

In an emergency situation (where you are knocked unconscious and your husband is out of town on business) - even if you have a local contact on the form, the local contact may not be able to pick up the child by close of daycare. That is why if you have a trusted relative to put on the form, that is who you put on the form - because ultimately that is who you will want to have with your child during a time of emergency.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Another military family here. I lie on these forms. I have no friends and no local family. We don't know our neighbors. I work from home, so my coworkers aren't local either.
In a real emergency, my parents are 3 hours away by plane and can afford the ticket.

I think these requests are stupid and demoralizing.

I find this too. I even had a school that REQUIRED a local
Contact - so that is when I started lying