When did your parents sell your childhood home?

[Anonymous]

I'm 33, and they haven't sold it yet but are starting to renovate. (Last summer, they had someone tear out the mauve carpet installed when the place was built in 1989.) I am dreading the eventual sale, even though I will love having them move closer.

[Anonymous]

When I was 30 or 31 they built a new, giant house and sold the one I grew up in. It's much more space than they need most of the time, but it's great when my family and my sister come to visit at the same time.

[Anonymous]

I'm 36 and my parents are still in it (going on 39 years). They are working on a complete gut and are on the last bathroom. They created a master suite downstairs to age in place if that becomes necessary, so at least they are thinking ahead. So from the inside it doesn't look much like the home I grew up in anyway. I'll be sad when they sell it because I won't have a reason to return to the area any longer.

My ILs tore down my husband's childhood home when he was 22 and built a mansion in its place, which they sold about 2 years ago now.

[Anonymous]

Day after I graduated high school

I went out of state for college (well, their new state) so I had no base to come home to, not where I knew anyone. It was hard but the good thing is it seemed to jump-start my own independent adult life faster.

[Anonymous]

When I was 20. It was sad but I don't live that far from it now so sometimes I drive by for old times' sake. There is a high school girl that lives in my old room now so I hope she makes good memories in it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I did after my mom died. I was 28. It was an unexpected death so I had to empty the house and then sell it.

Hi PP,

My situation is not as sad as yours but I will also have to empty a house and sell it in the near future. I feel completely overwhelmed and there are days when I just want to order a dumpster. But then I fear throwing out the good with the bad...

Do you feel satisfied with how you handled the process? What do you recommend? What would you do differently?

Well, this is about what I did so I'm not sure I'm very helpful. I'm not a sentimental person so I really don't have attachment to objects. My brother and I both grew up here and we still have a number of friends here. One of the first things I did was invite friends over to the house to take what they needed. My brothers friends were all graduating from college and starting their own apartments---they took the vacuum cleaner, pots/pans, cookbooks, tools, the microwave, cleaning supplies, fire extinguishers, etc. It was really cute to watch the boys that understood what was being offered vs the boys that were still clueless about setting up a household.

I had just bought a house so I needed furniture. I hired a moving truck for the things that I was keeping.

Then I went through the house and made piles--clothing to be donated and furniture to be donated. Jewelry I kept and had appraised. That which was valuable, I either kept or sold if I didn't like it. The non valuable stuff I donated. I went through my moms pockets and purses before I donated them and pulled out the money. I kept one year of bill records--water, gas, electric, bank statements--the rest of the papers I threw out. The car and dog went to my brother.

Boxes from the attic that hadn't been opened since they went up there when I was a kid, I just threw out. I didn't open them. There may have been good stuff in there but it wasn't good enough to be brought out into the public spaces in 28 years so it couldn't have been that good. If there were things like my great grandmothers XYZ, I don't know. Again, I didn't see the stuff in years, why start now? After the friends took what they wanted and the donations, the rest I threw away.

In all, it took me about 2 weeks to empty the house.

If I had to do it again, I would do it the same way. I'm encouraging my father to sell his house now so I don't have to do this again. I'm sorry you are facing this issue. It is overwhelming and it's a lot of work.

[Anonymous]

Twenty years ago my parents sold their home that they'd moved into when I was 12 months old (sister born 2 years later); when they sold it was 30. they stayed in the same town, moving to a different/larger home (don't ask).
I remember feeling a bit sad at the time because I'd always assumed I'd have my kids staying in my and mys sister's bedrooms when we visited, like I had done when I was a kid and visited my grandparents. And it's kind of weird now to not be able to show my husband where I grew up (well, the inside of it) because it was such a big part of my growing up and playing. I talk about it a lot.

20 years later, they will be selling this house in the next few years - and that's when we'll have to go through all that stuff..... and it will be weird, again, not to have this house in the family, but it wasn't where I grew up so there is less emotional attachment.

[Anonymous]

My parents are 88 and 84.
They moved to a senior living place 2 years ago but my mom refused to sell the house because she's a hoarder and so the house is still sitting there full of years of crap (and some nice antiques). I have no siblings so someday there will be an estate sale, after the crap has been thrown out. I'm talking years of Southern Living magazines, mayonnaise jars, travel size soaps from hotels etc. it will be a nightmare. Yes there is some stuff in there I might want buried under the hoard but my main emotion is irritation that they wouldn't let me deal with it earlier. As for the house I just hope a happy family moves into it someday. I don't want it.

[Anonymous]

When I was about 37. I felt a little sad and nostalgic, since I lived in that house my entire childhood, but they are really happy in their new place, and so that's "home" now.

[Anonymous]

My mom is in a very bad spot financially and refuses to sell and downsize. So I guess it's going to go into foreclosure. She will live with one of us when it's said and done. I'm pretty torn up about it and dread having to clean out a 3 story home with 40 years of stuff. It'll be sad but she doesn't need the space anymore.

[Anonymous]

My mom, now a widow, just went to closing last week and sold our house. It was bittersweet. She was starting a new chapter on her life (got remarried) and the house was too much upkeep for her. Plus, she is getting older, can't do stairs well anymore, needed safety bars in the shower, railings installed for steps, etc.

I live 10 min away and it was tough to see it on the market, painted, staged, and a different car in the driveway. A young family bought it so I hope the make happy memories just like I have of that home.

Like you Op, I'm 33 yrs old, my own life and family, but somehow it was still tough to let it go.

[Anonymous]

Never, not unless they must eventually move to a nursing home. The house is small, manageable, and close to almost everyone they know and care about. I don't know if it is paid off (I certainly hope/believe it is) but in any case, they have no need to downsize.

[Anonymous]

Never, also a farm that has been in our family for almost 200 years. I am hoping one of my children will have a job like a writer, or can telework, and will take over the place in 20 years or so. There are other neighbors and relatives who could do the farming.

[Anonymous]

My mom sold ours when I was 19, because she wanted to buy a house with her boyfriend (now husband). I was at college 1,000 miles away and my mom told me I had to come get my stuff, and they would let me take "some" of it to their new house. It was very rushed and I'm still bitter about the whole thing. They could have waited until at least that summer! They bought their new house in a rush and moved again within 5 years, to a home very similar to my childhood home. They thought they wanted to be closer in with a smaller home, but in the end, they preferred to be further out with more space and land. So basically, they could have just kept the home.

It's my dream to buy it back one day. Thankfully the people who purchased it from them still live there and they have taken great care of it. Their kids were born while they lived there and when I do drive by on occasion, it's clear that it is well-loved and giving someone else a happy childhood.

[Anonymous]

My parents lived in my childhood home for 30 years. When I was 34, they moved to the other side of the country when my dad retired. It was very sad for me that I can "never go home again". It was easy to just drive an hour to visit. Now flying to visit is much harder. I drove by the house when my first child was little, 6 years later, but it was still sad.