13 year old DS with aspergers-like symptoms- pros and cons of diagnosis?

[Anonymous]

OP, I have an Aspie child who was diagnosed in 6th grade. Similar to yours, always straight As, did well at HGC and has all A's at a magnet program. However, he is a slower, methodical worker and needs extra time to not be anxious and to get work done, particularly written work and Spanish. We always knew he was different, and my sister asked if he was Aspie when he was much younger, and my pediatrician said absolutely not. He's extremely high functioning and most people don't know that he's Aspie.

Here's what surprised me THE MOST about doing the testing -- he asked to know the results and then was relieved by them. It's been like the results have given him the freedom to be ok with who he is. He said that he always knew he wasn't normal but was always trying to be. And that was extremely frustrating for him.

He still has his issues socially, but is actually improving those skills. He's more willing to work on them now. This book is amazing -- https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00CQ1WNHY/ref=dp-kindle-redirect?_encoding=UTF8&btkr=1 . We were just reading some chapters together last night and he finds so much of it hysterically funny ... and it just makes sense to him. Overally, I just feel like he's a ton happier over the past year.

Given that you mentioned HGC, I'm guessing you're in MCPS. They will NOT help you get a diagnosis or give you any help without you seeking it out independently. We did an independent assessment that cost more like $2800.

Good luck!

[Anonymous]

My 14 year old stepson has Aspergers and as far as I'm concerned, it's practically a gift. He's going to benefit from it when he's an adult. He has an almost photographic memory and reading retention than borders on supernatural.

Things in the social arena are sometimes tough on him right now, but as he gets older, his peers will catch up to where he was all along. And it's great being able to talk with a kid about really complex subjects (science, history, literature, engineering) who's on the same level of understanding them as an adult. One of my very favorite things is just talking with him. How many stepdads can honestly say that?

So before you panic about all the social issues that come with Asp, remember that there are some amazing potential upsides, too.

[Anonymous]

I understand how frustrated you must be to have been discouraged from pursuing your instincts with your son. But - as you said - 'mourn' that it happened, and move on to what you can do now. I like this website which covers in general many kinds of support that are available. Consider checking for spectrum support groups/websites or a parent in your area that has found resources. Is there a children's hospital in your area that could recommend some resources? (You may also just want to look at some well known medical facility websites and see what information they may have. I like looking up info on Mayo Clinics website, and Web MD. This info can help you prepare for a doctor appointment, which you may want to consider. I would also see what options there may be through your school if they have a school psychologist, or contract with an educational service unit).

A friend of mine has a now 'adult' child on the severe end of the spectrum, and she said she gets a lot of support/ideas from facebook groups. Prayers!
http://www.myaspergerschild.com/2011/01/aspergers-and-social-anxiety.html

[Anonymous]

I just want to say thank you so much to the PPs who posted since I last responded. I wrote up a really long response yesterday, but did not post it, because I've already given so many specifics that some people will know me (or could correctly guess.) Since it's not about me, but about my son, I don't want to go into too much more.

However, you've been very helpful. PP with the Montco kid, you made me cry! Also I bought and read the book "Look at Me." Your post as well as that book made me wonder if in fact my son really DOES want friends, but just says he doesn't because he finds his attempts so awkward. I'm still not sure about that (I'm sure there ARE introverted aspies as well as extroverted ones.) But the possibility made me feel sad and wish I'd done more to help him socially when he was younger. But i still can do more, since he's still at home for some more years. I'm going to be trying to figure out how to do that in a way that is comfortable for him and doesn't make him feel there is something wrong with him. Overall, he's still our magical child who we are rather in awe of.