I couldn't wait for my DD to be big; now I miss her being little

[Anonymous]

While some of this issue is about your kid, it shares a lot with general discontent and some of the nostalgia and second-guessing that happens as you get older. My mother is like this and even now she will spend all our time together talking about when I was a kid, then be sad when I leave, even though it's really discouraging and negative to be around her. She doesn't even enjoy her grandkids as much as she should because she is in mopey mode the whole time. Then, like clockwork, after a few years she starts to miss the years she was recently wasn't paying attention to. Some of this is human nature and tough to avoid. Some of it you can learn to manage. Mindfulness helps.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The days are long but the years are short, aren't they?

Truer words were never spoken.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am not sure where this belongs, and it is more of a vent / confession that anything. Though I do welcome any advice.

I have one child, a DD. She is a junior in college. On trying days when she was young I remember wishing the time away, thinking how great it will be when she was older. She's always been a pretty good kid, though high energy. My DH traveled a lot, and our families never helped out. I did hire babysitters when I really needed a break.

Well now I find myself craving her childhood - from newborn all the way to HS. I miss having her at home and I miss seeing her every day. I feel like there is a large hole in my heart. Some days I am ok; other days I cannot get out of the nostalgia mode. I miss so many things / times about her growing up, even the challenging periods.

I don't know if I'd feel differently if I had more than one child or if she had been difficult. I just really miss her.

Has anyone who has been there & done that have any wisdom? She is doing well in college and seems pretty happy.

I was the same with my oldest, who needs a lot of attention and can be draining for me (but I love him to pieces). When my second was born, I knew she was it for us and this was the last baby and so I really have valued every moment of the little stage so much more. It has also made me appreciate these times with my oldest and not wish the time away.

[Anonymous]

I am an empty nester, retired from my Fed job, and my kids and grandkids live far away.

Now I babysit for a couple families here in my hometown. I do it half for fun and half for pocket change. It is awesome. The oldest kid I babysit is almost 11, and she occasionally gives me a bit of a teenager attitude. I jokingly tell her I can trade her in for a baby if she keeps up with the attitude.

[Anonymous]

I have a 1.5 year old and a 4 year old. I really try to live in the moment with them. Honestly, they are crazy, but also very charming. But I also get excited about the idea of them growing up. These years are very challenging. Am I teaching them enough about resilience? Will they always be dessert obsessed? Am I doing enough to combat the tendency towards anxiety and depression on both sides of our families? At this point, I don't really know if I'm doing a decent job at any of this. Your daughter is mostly grown up-- I imagine lots of heart to heart talks ahead of you. I'm very close with my mom.

It would be amazing to channel some of the nostalgia to help kids in need. I keep telling myself that I will do that, but I'm almost 37 and still in the throes of little kid parenting. I'm interested to what I'm game for when my girls are older.

[Anonymous]

I have loved every stage of watching my almost 8 year old growing... but it seems to be going faster and faster with each year and I totally feel myself trying to hold on to these moments. I also have a 4yo and 1yo, so things are usually hectic. But, it just goes too fast! I simultaneously feel like it can't get any better than having 3 little ones in the house and feeling like things will be a little easier when they're older and I can have a break to do my own thing.