How do you and your mate do the bills -- money management issues?

[Anonymous]

We did the joint account thing when my Dh and I just lived togethor. For us, it made things more difficult and certainly more "businesslike" (do you split the grocery bill in half or actually argue over who eats what?).

Now we have a joint checking and savings acount. My husband used to invest a certain portion of the money, as long as it was money we could afford to lose I don't mind (because he does usually lose it) and I sneak money into CDs (he knows they exist, but I make the decision on how much we can afford to put in). Honestly, while I love the simplicity, I do at times feel like I am not in control of my money. I had let my DH take care of all of our finances for awhile and then - well - did you read the part about him losing money on all investments?

So now I am trying to take a larger role in handling our finances. I do feel like that commercial at times - our money should be doing more for us. But after putting the full amount in retirement accounts, contibuting to the college fund, and paying off the mortgage and car insurance, there is little left to manage.

As far as gifts. We are in a "save money" mode, so we tend to agree on any major purchases including gifts. And we tend to use credit cards, which we have separate ones (even though we both open the bills and could see - but by then the birthday is over).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Between the two of us, we have 5 different accounts. Both our names are on each account

(1 and 2) We each have a mad money checking account. $X dollars is placed into this account each pay period. This account is our own account and we can use it however we want - no questions asked. It covers our lunch money and play money. I use most of my mad money for lunches, pedicures, shopping, etc. However, when I was on maternity leave I didn't use my money since I was home. At the end of the leave I had a tidy sum, and bought a flat screened TV for our bedroom. Hubby spends all his money on Starbucks, lunches, music, DVDs etc. I don't touch the money in hubby's mad money account and hubby doesn't touch and money in my account.

(3) ING Savings Account - we put $X dollars each month into this account for our emergency fund, life happens fund (vehicle repairs, vet bills, new roof, etc), and future large savings funds (saving for baby #2). Any extra money (tax refunds, bonuses, etc) also go into this account.

(4) Small Savings Account - This account holds money for our vacations $X dollars goes into this account each month.

(5) Major checking account - All the remaining money goes into this account. We use it to pay all our bills, groceries, gas, etc. I keep a strict budget for this account.

I handle all the finances. I love budgets, handling money, etc - and it just gives my husband a headache. He told me before we got married - you handle it and tell me each month how much money I can spend.

I'm curious - how much mad money do you get? Just curious if it is closer to $10 or $100. This sounds like a nice budget plan (my DH does tend to say "it was only $50" but then spends that same $50 over and over)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Between the two of us, we have 5 different accounts. Both our names are on each account

(1 and 2) We each have a mad money checking account. $X dollars is placed into this account each pay period. This account is our own account and we can use it however we want - no questions asked. It covers our lunch money and play money. I use most of my mad money for lunches, pedicures, shopping, etc. However, when I was on maternity leave I didn't use my money since I was home. At the end of the leave I had a tidy sum, and bought a flat screened TV for our bedroom. Hubby spends all his money on Starbucks, lunches, music, DVDs etc. I don't touch the money in hubby's mad money account and hubby doesn't touch and money in my account.

(3) ING Savings Account - we put $X dollars each month into this account for our emergency fund, life happens fund (vehicle repairs, vet bills, new roof, etc), and future large savings funds (saving for baby #2). Any extra money (tax refunds, bonuses, etc) also go into this account.

(4) Small Savings Account - This account holds money for our vacations $X dollars goes into this account each month.

(5) Major checking account - All the remaining money goes into this account. We use it to pay all our bills, groceries, gas, etc. I keep a strict budget for this account.

I handle all the finances. I love budgets, handling money, etc - and it just gives my husband a headache. He told me before we got married - you handle it and tell me each month how much money I can spend.

I'm curious - how much mad money do you get? Just curious if it is closer to $10 or $100. This sounds like a nice budget plan (my DH does tend to say "it was only $50" but then spends that same $50 over and over)

I agree - looks like a great plan. We currently have 2 joint checking (one's a relic) plus the savings, and I 'manage' the money, though we've discussed needing to get a better handle on things. (Dang inertia..) But I like the way you have this set up - might have to steal your setup!

[Anonymous]

We each have our own checking account, funded by our paychecks, and each pay certain bills from the money we put into them. It sounds complicated, but we've be doing this for 8 years and it have become very automatic. We manage money differently, so this way we each can do it the way that makes sense to us, without the other either becoming irritated or just being completely uninvolved in managing our finances.

I pay the mortgage and some larger bills, and DH pays our utilities and main joint credit card on which we put most expenses each month. We have four savings accounts - one for emergencies only (never to be touched, hopefully), one for life happens expenses (water heater breaks, vacations, car repairs, etc.), one for our real estate taxes, and one for saving for a major home renovations. We divide up who puts money into each account (and into DC's 529 account). We each fund our own IRAs and manage our retirement accounts separately, due to differences in opinion on investing. I also have my own savings account, attached to my checking, that I use if I have any shortfalls in my monthly payments. And I have my own credit card, so I don't have to worry about justifying a $50 Sephora expense, or something similar.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Between the two of us, we have 5 different accounts. Both our names are on each account

(1 and 2) We each have a mad money checking account. $X dollars is placed into this account each pay period. This account is our own account and we can use it however we want - no questions asked. It covers our lunch money and play money. I use most of my mad money for lunches, pedicures, shopping, etc. However, when I was on maternity leave I didn't use my money since I was home. At the end of the leave I had a tidy sum, and bought a flat screened TV for our bedroom. Hubby spends all his money on Starbucks, lunches, music, DVDs etc. I don't touch the money in hubby's mad money account and hubby doesn't touch and money in my account.

(3) ING Savings Account - we put $X dollars each month into this account for our emergency fund, life happens fund (vehicle repairs, vet bills, new roof, etc), and future large savings funds (saving for baby #2). Any extra money (tax refunds, bonuses, etc) also go into this account.

(4) Small Savings Account - This account holds money for our vacations $X dollars goes into this account each month.

(5) Major checking account - All the remaining money goes into this account. We use it to pay all our bills, groceries, gas, etc. I keep a strict budget for this account.

I handle all the finances. I love budgets, handling money, etc - and it just gives my husband a headache. He told me before we got married - you handle it and tell me each month how much money I can spend.

I'm curious - how much mad money do you get? Just curious if it is closer to $10 or $100. This sounds like a nice budget plan (my DH does tend to say "it was only $50" but then spends that same $50 over and over)

I agree - looks like a great plan. We currently have 2 joint checking (one's a relic) plus the savings, and I 'manage' the money, though we've discussed needing to get a better handle on things. (Dang inertia..) But I like the way you have this set up - might have to steal your setup!

I'm the 12:33 poster from yesterday. Actually, the mad money has sort of evolved over the years. First I make out a budget - all our cash in, and then all our cash out. I include everything in the budget - for example, at the end of the year we pay HOA fees - so each month I take out an amount for that (HOA fees divided by 12 months) and set aside. Groceries, gas, Roth IRA, amount going to emergency savings, savings for baby, etc - all of it is put into the budget. Anything extra was our mad money. When we first got married we each got $50 a paycheck. Before our daughter was born, we were up to $250 each per paycheck. Our economic situation has changed over the last year - so right now our mad money is on hold (DH is in the Army and is currently stationed in another state - so we're paying both a mortgage and an apartment rental). However, I'm hoping at the beginning of the year when he gets a raise we'll be able to get a little something extra - even if just $20. We just go by what is available.

The nicest thing about the mad money accounts - is we have never had an argument about what we spend our money on.

Once a year I make my husband sit down and I go over our budget and finances. It doesn't take long before his eyes glaze over, but I figure he should know where the money is going and what kind of shape we're in. State of the Family is what we call it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:some of these separate accounts sound more like a business arrangement or roomates rather than a marriage.

I never had sex or children with a roommate, and never had one nurse me through cancer, either. Bank accounts are just one aspect of a marriage.

[Anonymous]

it's interesting that the separate accounts seem to work ok when the spouses make similar amounts of money. but not when one is making way more than the other.