Homeschool "abuse"?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is there a way to anonymously report parents who may be doing their children a disservice with their "homeschooling" techniques?

We have a close acquaintance who homeschools, but the children are really suffering acedemically. One parent is in med school, the other works from home all day (and works on home renovations.) We have noticed for years, but had an interaction with them over the weekend, and their almost-8yo couldn't comprehend our 1st graders homework assignment, and he struggles to read. Their 1st grader struggles with 3-letter words still. I truly feel the children's schooling suffers because of the busy schedules of the parents. They have two more kids behind their youngest in "homeschool".

As homeschool parents yourself, tell me what we should do? I can't look the other way anymore. They claim they are bright because they know useless trivia about space and dinosaurs and Egyptian times, but it is really starting to show that they are really behind.

Do you have other examples, OP, because these reading level you describe are within the range of normal. Basically you are saying your first grader is smarter than their 7 year old. That is normal. And how have you "noticed for years" if their oldest is 7 and legally would only be required to be in school for 2 years now?

[Anonymous]

The elementary school my son attended was just passing him from one grade to the next although he was barely reading on a beginning K level. He had an IEP because he's dyslexic and has severe ADHD. I tried working with him at home after school and could not correct in the few hours I had available what they didn't do during the school day. I had to pull him out at the beginning of 3rd grade because I knew that if I did not, he wouldn't have a chance. He is now reading above his grade level, is above his grade level in all of his subjects, and will reenter public school with his class in 7th grade. So it is not true that kids do not graduate barely literate these days. It can, and does, happen.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, before you jump to calling CPS or something drastic, make sure you know the FULL story. My almost 9 year old barely reads, and can't do any math but he has some severe learning disabilities. I don't tell many people and usually spout off how smart he is because he knows history (and some other subjects) better than most middle schoolers. But it's because we talk to him about it and don't require him to read it.

We are fortunate to have him in a good school and he has a great IEP, but some parents may not think their schools can cater to the specific special needs of their kids and decide to homeschool. They may be "showing off" about their kids' smarts but are really struggling to work with their kids' LDs and don't want to share that personal information.

Obviously, that may or may not be the case, but just wanted to share my own personal struggles (anonymously) since I don't talk about my son's disabilities and to an outsider they may think I don't see it. If I homeschooled, I could see someone thinking I'm not teaching him when it would be furthest from the truth.

This was my thought as well.

My thought as well. You can have learning disabilities and have a gifted IQ, like my son, whom I nearly homeschooled before happening on a great little program in MCPS for gifted and learning disabled kids!

The question is, if LDs are in the picture, do the parents realize and are they properly training their kids? My son worked 5 times as hard as anyone else in elementary school, and I made sure he worked on all his weak points. He also had speech and social skills therapy.

If they're good friends, perhaps you could probe a bit.

[Anonymous]

I hate this indirect stuff. Put on your big girl pants and talk to them directly about your concerns.

[Anonymous]

There are 4 young adults in my family that were 'homeschooled' because their parents are religious and didn't want to contaminate their kids in the public schools. Each of them has an elementary school level education and never got GEDs. Now they are unemployable. A couple of them have been in jail for drugs. They are also behind socially because of their lack of interaction outside the fams.

The parents have huge regrets now. They will continue to support these kids because they can't support themselves. Homeschooling (un schooling) should be illegal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is there a way to anonymously report parents who may be doing their children a disservice with their "homeschooling" techniques?

We have a close acquaintance who homeschools, but the children are really suffering acedemically. One parent is in med school, the other works from home all day (and works on home renovations.) We have noticed for years, but had an interaction with them over the weekend, and their almost-8yo couldn't comprehend our 1st graders homework assignment, and he struggles to read. Their 1st grader struggles with 3-letter words still. I truly feel the children's schooling suffers because of the busy schedules of the parents. They have two more kids behind their youngest in "homeschool".

As homeschool parents yourself, tell me what we should do? I can't look the other way anymore. They claim they are bright because they know useless trivia about space and dinosaurs and Egyptian times, but it is really starting to show that they are really behind.

I can't believe someone who is educated (and in med school, no less) would do this to their children.

[Anonymous]

Thank you for being concerned about these students. In MS. years ago we started the MS Home School Association to help curb this type of problem. My husband worked with Youth Court at the time and we knew how to get some backing from them.

Our first intervention was to talk honestly with the parents and if they would not listen to take someone else with us in hopes that if they still would not listen there would be witnesses. This type of situation can make home school a problem for the rest of us.

Second, we would offer to help. This may or may not be rec'd in the right spirit but the education and well being of these children is at stake plus the reputation of homeschooling. I will pray for you as you seek the solution. Thanks for caring.

[Anonymous]

OP, if these are your friends I think you have to say something to them. You can say it kindly, but say you are concerned about their kids' education because it seems like they are falling behind, and neither of them has the time to devote to the children's education since they are working and in school. Yes this could mess up your relationship, but it's worth it if there is any chance that this will wake them up.

This is a good example of why homeschooling should be well-regulated.

[Anonymous]

If they're close friends, try to learn a little more. Ask them about what curriculum they're using, how much time they spend on different activities, etc. It's possible that a) they're child has learning difficulties, b) they're not aware of what they're kids should be capable of at this time, or c) that you're seeing differences based on the different educational methods your children are receiving vs theirs(e.g. your 1st grader is learning "new math" and they're 8 year old is learning a traditional approach making your child's homework difficult for them to understand). Also, there are some educational philosophies that don't begin teaching reading until 1st grade and some children who are not developmentally ready to learn to read until closer to age 7, so their 1st grader may not be as far behind as you think.

Basically, try not to rush to judgement until you've talked to them and have a better idea of what is going on. Then, you can more directly address your concerns with them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your expectations of their education may also be off base. Reading and math skills have been pushed earlier and earlier in the school systems in the last 40 years, but there is research that indicates the natural age for those skills to be developmentally appropriate is a couple years older. Just because we can skill and drill kids into learning a skill earlier doesn't mean that's when their brains are ready for it.

Not a homeschooler, but wanted to point this out -- we're not talking about an 11 or 12 year old who can't read, and comparing home-schooled kids at their young ages to your community-schooled kids is a bit premature.

This. The kids will probably turn out to be exceptionally bright kids with great problem solving skills and high emotional intelligence. They will ultimately be very well educated I'm sure.

Are you of lower educational level compared to your friends? It sounds like it. Also, if they noticed your 'judgy' 'attitude odds are they will not be visiting you again. You sound awful and ignorant yourself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Keep in mind that in many states, "unschooling" is perfectly legal. There is no education beyond what children learn simply by daily activities and being curious.

I homeschooled for a year in MOCO because I hated MOCO County Schools. I pulled my youngest out after three months and finished the year with him at home. Their requirements are very simple to meet. All they require is a yearly review. It took less than 10 minutes. The caseworker just looked at a few work samples. When we found a home in Fairfax County, I put my youngest back in public school.

Many states have no accountability requirements beyond registering the child as a homeschool student.

What was it that you disliked so much about Moco schools? How is fairfax better in your mind? I know people who don't like their kids in public school for a variety of reasons, but I am surprised to hear such a disparate opinion about what I would have thought are broadly similar school systems.

DP. But FCPS and MCPS have a very different focus right now. MCPS parents seem very frustrated with the "narrow the achievement gap" mentality in MCPS. If your kid isn't behind, they aren't getting attention. Gifted education is 2 years, and highly rationed (set slots). FCPS is swinging in the dead opposite direction. A large percentage of kids head in to the AAP program, and go to FT gifted Centers for 6 year (3rd-8th) and get excellent and highly accelerated learning that ultimately feeds to TJHSST. But the gap between AAP Centers and High SES Gen Ed Centers and high SES Gen Ed Centers and low SES Gen Feds Centers can be large.

There are other differences too like MCPS does immersion well and FCPS does not. And FCPS has a failing cluster of IB schools in the Easyrn part of the county that no can defend, but they refuse to convert to IB. But in ES/MS, if you have a bright but not brilliant kid, you want a guarantee of 6 years of AAP Center placement and not a set number of GT Center slots that you can only get for 2 years.