Beach house experiences--tips and 'best practices'

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Always buy triple the amount of chips and cookies you think you need. We have 10 adults and 6 kids and holy sh*t those things go INSANELY fast.

Also, you can never have too much white wine or beer. Especially with 6 kids in one house.

Yes, the beach and the sheer laziness of being at the beach makes me snack and graze. Chips and snack food go fast.

[Anonymous]

Op - are kids involved?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op is a guest.

Many of these suggestions (because we didn't know before) would only be appropriate in a different circumstance. What Op needs to do most, considering she is a guest - and these are ILs and family of ILs - is to adapt to whatever everyone else is doing and how they are doing it.

You have the least amount of power here, Op

I am so glad I am not in your "family."

In my family, ILs are family, and no one tries to pull rank or "host power" or any of that BS. Plus, OP wasn't asking about this kind of nonsense AT ALL, as she already clarified. She is looking for "don't forget to bring more sunscreen than you think you can possibly use."

Power? You can't be flipping serious.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op is a guest.

Many of these suggestions (because we didn't know before) would only be appropriate in a different circumstance. What Op needs to do most, considering she is a guest - and these are ILs and family of ILs - is to adapt to whatever everyone else is doing and how they are doing it.

You have the least amount of power here, Op

I am so glad I am not in your "family."

In my family, ILs are family, and no one tries to pull rank or "host power" or any of that BS. Plus, OP wasn't asking about this kind of nonsense AT ALL, as she already clarified. She is looking for "don't forget to bring more sunscreen than you think you can possibly use."

Power? You can't be flipping serious.

I am so looking forward to all these summer stories and vents

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op is a guest.

Many of these suggestions (because we didn't know before) would only be appropriate in a different circumstance. What Op needs to do most, considering she is a guest - and these are ILs and family of ILs - is to adapt to whatever everyone else is doing and how they are doing it.

You have the least amount of power here, Op

I am so glad I am not in your "family."

In my family, ILs are family, and no one tries to pull rank or "host power" or any of that BS. Plus, OP wasn't asking about this kind of nonsense AT ALL, as she already clarified. She is looking for "don't forget to bring more sunscreen than you think you can possibly use."

Power? You can't be flipping serious.

Seriously. It's a group vacation, and the ILs cannot dictate to the group everything, even if they paid. They do get to pick the nicest room, but otherwise the group dynamic prevails.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Lots of good tips here.

We always have a receipt jar/bowl in the kitchen, and people place their receipts (for shared expenses like food and drinks for the house) there throughout the week. They write their name on the receipt. At the end of the week, someone is responsible for taking the receipts home and adding them to other shared expenses (beach umbrella rentals etc.) and calculating who oews what (and to whom). We usually work it out so that each family pays an equal share, but we've also done more sophisticated calculations to account for families with more kids or more drinkers. etc.

This sounds petty and exhausting. I can see maybe if one family paid twice as much as everyone else, but Uncle Jim owes Aunt Karen $5 for ice cream...OK.

I'm the PP you are quoting, and I wouldn't call it petty at all. Some of the receipts are for $400 grocery runs, and $300 rentals (umbrellas, paddle boards, kayaks). That's real money. Since we are already collecting them, it's no extra effort to throw in the random $20 receipts from the grocery store. By doing it this way, we don't have to worry about keeping track about who is paying for what while we are at the beach; we sort it all out later. And yes, one family (a different one from year to year) always seems to end up being owed significant money from the other families. It usually depends on who does the initial grocery run at the beginning of the week. If a family takes their kids out for ice cream they don't submit a receipt becuase it's not a communal expense. It's pretty straightforward.

How else would you keep track of who is paying for the big ticket items?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Get there early so you can pick a decent room.

Pack some baby powder for ease of getting sand off of you after leaving the beach.

Like pp said, figure out a chore list and dinner menus at the onset.

A large group will have different schedules. Don't wait around for everyone to get ready before heading out to the beach. You'll lose a lot of time and get resentful. Instead, suggest some group activities for when everyone is available, but also carve out your own time. If you're going to Rehoboth, parking near the beach is free before 10am and we're early morning people so this works great for us. We'd get a couple of hours in while everyone is just waking up and getting ready back in the house.

Bring play cards and other group games for the evenings or down time.

Ugh. I'd like to hear how others have managed this. . . .should it truly be on a first dibs basis?

I have done this almost a dozen times with big groups of friends and family. The couple with the person who actually made the reservations/handled collecting the money/put their names on everything got first dibs in every case.

We always give the best room to my brother and SIL because she's more high maintenance than the rest of us (I say that with love; I really like her). So it makes it easier on everyone if SIL has the master bedroom with its own bathroom. Small gestures like that to keep the happiness level high are important. Otherwise, I always think that the oldest people get the best room.

We never do chore charts. The rule is that you pick up after yourself and your own family.

I agree with all the PPs who say that you need a mix of group time and alone time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Bring more phone chargers than you think you'll need! It's good to have one in the kitchen/public area so you aren't tied to the bedroom all the time for that.

Bring some extension cords and extra earbuds/headsets.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Get there early so you can pick a decent room.

Pack some baby powder for ease of getting sand off of you after leaving the beach.

Like pp said, figure out a chore list and dinner menus at the onset.

A large group will have different schedules. Don't wait around for everyone to get ready before heading out to the beach. You'll lose a lot of time and get resentful. Instead, suggest some group activities for when everyone is available, but also carve out your own time. If you're going to Rehoboth, parking near the beach is free before 10am and we're early morning people so this works great for us. We'd get a couple of hours in while everyone is just waking up and getting ready back in the house.

Bring play cards and other group games for the evenings or down time.

Ugh. I'd like to hear how others have managed this. . . .should it truly be on a first dibs basis?

I have done this almost a dozen times with big groups of friends and family. The couple with the person who actually made the reservations/handled collecting the money/put their names on everything got first dibs in every case.

We always give the best room to my brother and SIL because she's more high maintenance than the rest of us (I say that with love; I really like her). So it makes it easier on everyone if SIL has the master bedroom with its own bathroom. Small gestures like that to keep the happiness level high are important. Otherwise, I always think that the oldest people get the best room.

We never do chore charts. The rule is that you pick up after yourself and your own family.

I agree with all the PPs who say that you need a mix of group time and alone time.

We always had one couple in the group that would try to get to the house first and claim the master, or call everyone on the way to the house and plead why they should get the master. While DH and I always gave up the better rooms to others and took the room like the bunkbed room because we committed to the house last, etc. The same couple did things like bring a small bottle of Trader Joe's hotsauce for their family and take it back to their room after they were done with it so they didn't have to share it with others. We are no longer friends with that couple.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Like pp said, figure out a chore list and dinner menus at the onset

OMG don't obligate me to having dinner as a group if I don't want to. The best time to sit out on the beach may be late afternoon/eve. It's my vacation. I don't want my schedule "
planned". I'll pick up after myself and contribute. But if you have specific plans for my time, it's not happening.

Not PP, but I don't think this is as much about making people sit and eat together as it is about knowing who is in charge of food for that meal. On the few beach trips I've been to with groups of 12-16 adults (plus kids), we planned in advance who was in charge of meals for each day, so that group/person/couple left the beach early before that meal or did what prep work they needed to do in advance, put together the food, and then others eventually showed up. It wasn't ever an issue of waiting around for others to show up, as people just tended to congregate around the kitchen when food was being prepared. And if someone's not there, fine, they can eat leftovers or put together a sandwich if there isn't anything left.

You might try to plan some simple menus ahead of time. It's disheartening to make lasagna and salad for dinner when it's your turn and then get bologna sandwiches when it's someone else's.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Lots of good tips here.

We always have a receipt jar/bowl in the kitchen, and people place their receipts (for shared expenses like food and drinks for the house) there throughout the week. They write their name on the receipt. At the end of the week, someone is responsible for taking the receipts home and adding them to other shared expenses (beach umbrella rentals etc.) and calculating who oews what (and to whom). We usually work it out so that each family pays an equal share, but we've also done more sophisticated calculations to account for families with more kids or more drinkers. etc.

This sounds petty and exhausting. I can see maybe if one family paid twice as much as everyone else, but Uncle Jim owes Aunt Karen $5 for ice cream...OK.

I'm the PP you are quoting, and I wouldn't call it petty at all. Some of the receipts are for $400 grocery runs, and $300 rentals (umbrellas, paddle boards, kayaks). That's real money. Since we are already collecting them, it's no extra effort to throw in the random $20 receipts from the grocery store. By doing it this way, we don't have to worry about keeping track about who is paying for what while we are at the beach; we sort it all out later. And yes, one family (a different one from year to year) always seems to end up being owed significant money from the other families. It usually depends on who does the initial grocery run at the beginning of the week. If a family takes their kids out for ice cream they don't submit a receipt becuase it's not a communal expense. It's pretty straightforward.

How else would you keep track of who is paying for the big ticket items?

The main tactic for everyone to throw their receipts into a bin and split sounds fine. The piece about accounting for families with more kids or drinkers can get complicated, although we've done it for groups as long as people remain reasonable about it. Are you gonna have one person that says they don't want to pay for the meat because they don't eat meat, or someone that says they want to pay for the meat, but not the fish because they don't eat fish, but husband does. . . it really depends on the reasonableness of the group.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Lots of good tips here.

We always have a receipt jar/bowl in the kitchen, and people place their receipts (for shared expenses like food and drinks for the house) there throughout the week. They write their name on the receipt. At the end of the week, someone is responsible for taking the receipts home and adding them to other shared expenses (beach umbrella rentals etc.) and calculating who oews what (and to whom). We usually work it out so that each family pays an equal share, but we've also done more sophisticated calculations to account for families with more kids or more drinkers. etc.

This sounds petty and exhausting. I can see maybe if one family paid twice as much as everyone else, but Uncle Jim owes Aunt Karen $5 for ice cream...OK.

I'm the PP you are quoting, and I wouldn't call it petty at all. Some of the receipts are for $400 grocery runs, and $300 rentals (umbrellas, paddle boards, kayaks). That's real money. Since we are already collecting them, it's no extra effort to throw in the random $20 receipts from the grocery store. By doing it this way, we don't have to worry about keeping track about who is paying [/b[b]]for what while we are at the beach; we sort it all out later. And yes, one family (a different one from year to year) always seems to end up being owed significant money from the other families. It usually depends on who does the initial grocery run at the beginning of the week. If a family takes their kids out for ice cream they don't submit a receipt becuase it's not a communal expense. It's pretty straightforward.



I actually love this idea, but it would only work if everyone isn't petty and if the entire group has the same interests and integrity.

How else would you keep track of who is paying for the big ticket items?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Lots of good tips here.

We always have a receipt jar/bowl in the kitchen, and people place their receipts (for shared expenses like food and drinks for the house) there throughout the week. They write their name on the receipt. At the end of the week, someone is responsible for taking the receipts home and adding them to other shared expenses (beach umbrella rentals etc.) and calculating who oews what (and to whom). We usually work it out so that each family pays an equal share, but we've also done more sophisticated calculations to account for families with more kids or more drinkers. etc.

This sounds petty and exhausting. I can see maybe if one family paid twice as much as everyone else, but Uncle Jim owes Aunt Karen $5 for ice cream...OK.

I'm the PP you are quoting, and I wouldn't call it petty at all. Some of the receipts are for $400 grocery runs, and $300 rentals (umbrellas, paddle boards, kayaks). That's real money. Since we are already collecting them, it's no extra effort to throw in the random $20 receipts from the grocery store. By doing it this way, we don't have to worry about keeping track about who is paying for what while we are at the beach; we sort it all out later. And yes, one family (a different one from year to year) always seems to end up being owed significant money from the other families. It usually depends on who does the initial grocery run at the beginning of the week. If a family takes their kids out for ice cream they don't submit a receipt becuase it's not a communal expense. It's pretty straightforward.

How else would you keep track of who is paying for the big ticket items?

The main tactic for everyone to throw their receipts into a bin and split sounds fine. The piece about accounting for families with more kids or drinkers can get complicated, although we've done it for groups as long as people remain reasonable about it. Are you gonna have one person that says they don't want to pay for the meat because they don't eat meat, or someone that says they want to pay for the meat, but not the fish because they don't eat fish, but husband does. . . it really depends on the reasonableness of the group.

I'm the PP you are quoting, and I agree with you. DH is a data/analytics guy, so he does the calculations and always (unprompted) offers up a few alternative split scenarios (number of people in the family, number of adults only etc.) for the group. We always end up with the simple family split, though. We go with the same families every year, and we are all easy going about the expenses.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Always buy triple the amount of chips and cookies you think you need. We have 10 adults and 6 kids and holy sh*t those things go INSANELY fast.

Also, you can never have too much white wine or beer. Especially with 6 kids in one house.

Really? I swear, I end up bringing so much food home after a week, and this is with mostly adults. We even dedicate Friday to eating leftovers only, and nothing new is to be cooked, and food is still leftover (dried or refrigerated).

Other food will sit around. But chips and cookies? First things to get eaten .

My family must be the exception, because those are items I come home with.

[Anonymous]

Our meals are similar to 8:36 (OBX owner). We do our own thing for breakfast and lunch - cereal, eggs, bagels, sandwiches, salads and leftovers. If there's extra, you are welcome to it when you wake/arrive. Dinner is a little more scheduled. It works for us that each adult picks a night to make dinner (time to show off your signature dish) and the last night is either leftovers or pizza. One tradition that has passed on is playing Uno. It's a must in our family along with watching Christmas Vacation one of the nights. Reminds us that our family isn't so crazy after all!