Teen struggling with driving

[Anonymous]

Sign her up for racing school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:kids don't care about getting licences these days.

just get an uber account and live in a city.

Ridiculous. All five of our kids had permits at 15 and got their licenses literally the day they turned 16. DC is the only place we have ever lived where kids aren't counting the days till they get their license. And we have lived in huge cities all over the world. It has nothing to do with living in a city and everything to do with weirdly overprotective parents who simply do not know how to let kids grow up. Just look around at the number of 5 year olds in strollers.

OP, she will become a better driver when she has no choice. It's hard to let go and trust they they will get better, but they do. Experience driving without anyone else in the car builds confidence. My oldest is 27 and my youngest is 17. In all those years we have only had one accident and it was very minor. The kid I worried about the most turned out to be the best city driver. She lives in Old Town and drives all over DC and NoVA.

Diving encourages independence. There are so many places in the world without public transportation. She'll get it! She just needs the confidence that only comes with experience.

When did your teens get their licenses? I got my license at 19 in 1986-87 and I had no desire to learn earlier. We lived in Philly with expensive car insurance and only had one car. Philly has an excellent bus/train system so I was independent despite not knowing how to drive.

I still think 15-16 is too young for a driver's license especially now with the distracted driver and the angry people out there. A good friend of mine is over 50 and never learned or wanted to drive. She has a job and is quite independent so your theory about overprotective parents is not true for everyone.

Yes, I have teens but they aren't going to learn until at least 19 or older. Also have no desire to learn either!

When did they get their license? Like I said - The day they turned 16. Like literally on their 16th birthday. The had held their permits for a full year and were ready to drive independently when they turned 16.

You misunderstood the question. When I said when did they get their license I meant what YEAR did they get their licence? 1987? 1998? 2002? Do you have Quints? Otherwise they did not get their licence on the same day and the same year.

You may not believe this but, teens are no longer "looking forward" to driving at 16 especially if they live in a city like NY or DC. I'm not saying "all" but a good majority of teens don't see this as any expression of independence. They have uber, bikes, metro, buses, their feet, scooters etc. Soon they will have cars that drive you!

NP. She said they range in age from 17-27 so that gives you an idea.

My son just turned 16 and he and all of his friends are very eager to get their licenses. We're in the suburbs so there's no metro. That definitely makes a big difference. And I am eager for him to drive, as well. It's very difficult getting three kids to all their activities on weeknights in all directions. Having him drive himself would ease that situation.

Thanks, pp! I totally missed the age thing. My bad! Granted I think her youngest wants to drive because he saw the others getting their licenses at 16. Mine is 18 and really doesn't care if she ever drives. So, when her oldest got the licence I would agree with the pp but, if her youngest was her oldest than she would understand and not put people down who choose differently ( hence the "helicopter comment"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:kids don't care about getting licences these days.

just get an uber account and live in a city.

Ridiculous. All five of our kids had permits at 15 and got their licenses literally the day they turned 16. DC is the only place we have ever lived where kids aren't counting the days till they get their license. And we have lived in huge cities all over the world. It has nothing to do with living in a city and everything to do with weirdly overprotective parents who simply do not know how to let kids grow up. Just look around at the number of 5 year olds in strollers.

OP, she will become a better driver when she has no choice. It's hard to let go and trust they they will get better, but they do. Experience driving without anyone else in the car builds confidence. My oldest is 27 and my youngest is 17. In all those years we have only had one accident and it was very minor. The kid I worried about the most turned out to be the best city driver. She lives in Old Town and drives all over DC and NoVA.

Diving encourages independence. There are so many places in the world without public transportation. She'll get it! She just needs the confidence that only comes with experience.

When did your teens get their licenses? I got my license at 19 in 1986-87 and I had no desire to learn earlier. We lived in Philly with expensive car insurance and only had one car. Philly has an excellent bus/train system so I was independent despite not knowing how to drive.

I still think 15-16 is too young for a driver's license especially now with the distracted driver and the angry people out there. A good friend of mine is over 50 and never learned or wanted to drive. She has a job and is quite independent so your theory about overprotective parents is not true for everyone.

Yes, I have teens but they aren't going to learn until at least 19 or older. Also have no desire to learn either!

When did they get their license? Like I said - The day they turned 16. Like literally on their 16th birthday. The had held their permits for a full year and were ready to drive independently when they turned 16.

You misunderstood the question. When I said when did they get their license I meant what YEAR did they get their licence? 1987? 1998? 2002? Do you have Quints? Otherwise they did not get their licence on the same day and the same year.

You may not believe this but, teens are no longer "looking forward" to driving at 16 especially if they live in a city like NY or DC. I'm not saying "all" but a good majority of teens don't see this as any expression of independence. They have uber, bikes, metro, buses, their feet, scooters etc. Soon they will have cars that drive you!

NP. She said they range in age from 17-27 so that gives you an idea.

My son just turned 16 and he and all of his friends are very eager to get their licenses. We're in the suburbs so there's no metro. That definitely makes a big difference. And I am eager for him to drive, as well. It's very difficult getting three kids to all their activities on weeknights in all directions. Having him drive himself would ease that situation.

Thanks, pp! I totally missed the age thing. My bad! Granted I think her youngest wants to drive because he saw the others getting their licenses at 16. Mine is 18 and really doesn't care if she ever drives. So, when her oldest got the licence I would agree with the pp but, if her youngest was her oldest than she would understand and not put people down who choose differently ( hence the "helicopter comment"

Yeah, I don't know if that's necessarily true. I suppose it depends on the child and even more on the family. My son whom I said just turned 16 is my firstborn and he is very eager to drive. Many of his friends are also firstborns and they, too, are ready. They all got their permits within the month they were eligible. There is just one in his group of friends who is eligible but has not, and he is the outlier. It's very likely that the peer group has a big influence.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:kids don't care about getting licences these days.

just get an uber account and live in a city.

I wish our situation made that possible! We are counting on her being a full-on driver by September. That means driving herself to work and driving her siblings to school. Of ciyrse we won't force it if she's not ready by then, but I am really starting to wonder if she will ever be ready. She really is that bad!

Driving siblings to school?! Isn't there a prohibition on her license for that? Mine said no minors in my car until I was 18.

What about driving school? Are there driving classes at her high school?

Obviously you are way out of touch with the current system. Drivers ed has not been offered in the school system since 1988. Teenagers on their provisional licenses can drive siblings but no other teenagers during the first five months. why are you commenting if you don't know the law?

[Anonymous]

I put a lot of the blame on the OP whose fear of losing control of her daughters life is causing the daughter to fear driving with mom. The friction in the car only makes a new driver worse because the lack of confidence by mother transfers to the daughter and what you end up with is a nervous and unskilled driver.

Mom you need to chill and stop second guessing the daughter every ten seconds.

[Anonymous]

Just get her an instructor. She will jeopardise not only her life but the lives of other people. I see a lot of youngsters doing stupid stuff in the traffic - like discovering at the last second that they must turn left, but they happen to be 3 lanes away on the right, and then they think they can just jump over those 3 lanes, putting everybody around them in danger.
In the US, it seems children are expected to acquire the driving skills with mothers milk. It actually takes a lot of practice for some people.

[Anonymous]

I second the suggestion for I Drive Smart, the program using the police officers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Obviously you are way out of touch with the current system. Drivers ed has not been offered in my school system since 1988.

Fixed that for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My 37 year old sister is stilllike this.

My sister too. Her car ended up full of dents and she has paid so much in insurance and outside insurance pay outs. She got the Subaru eyesight and to her that was a god sent because it always jam brake and stops before she could realize it. And saved her from nearly
10 Accidents so far!!But she still does go over curbs when she turns etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:kids don't care about getting licences these days.

just get an uber account and live in a city.

I wish our situation made that possible! We are counting on her being a full-on driver by September. That means driving herself to work and driving her siblings to school. Of ciyrse we won't force it if she's not ready by then, but I am really starting to wonder if she will ever be ready. She really is that bad!

Driving siblings to school?! Isn't there a prohibition on her license for that? Mine said no minors in my car until I was 18.

What about driving school? Are there driving classes at her high school?

Obviously you are way out of touch with the current system. Drivers ed has not been offered in the school system since 1988. Teenagers on their provisional licenses can drive siblings but no other teenagers during the first five months. why are you commenting if you don't know the law?

This is the strangest post. Totally self-righteous and yet so oblivious. Do you not realize this is a matter of state law and/or what school district you live in and/or what school you go to (if private)?

[Anonymous]

OP - yeah, it is tough with some of them. My A student cant seem to pass the permit test. And yeah, they have to learn.

I'd hire an instructor because that person would not be you. Check in after a few hours and ask the instructor what he or she thinks the trouble is.

Kudos to you for keeping fighting the good fight to give your daughter this essential skill.

And, if I could learn, anyone can. I had no aptitude at all and really tough parents (one was too nervous to let go and the other was a yeller).

[Anonymous]

Yes, people will think I'm crazy, but we have a vacation house in the mountains (very rural) and started teaching our kids to drive at the age of 10. Bu the time they were 16 and could legally hit urban roads, they were confident behind the wheel. Rheybonly had to focus on other cars and what other cars where doing because they already knew how to operate a vehicle.

[Anonymous]

My father was a professional bus driver and I can still hear him in my head almost 35 years later since this was the kind of stuff he would tell me:

"I needed concrete indicators of when I was supposed to do something. Like being told to leave 3 car lengths between me and the car ahead of me. And to shift (manual) when the speedometer hit a certain MPH. I know that's not the intuitive way to drive, but I needed these concrete indicators before it "became" intuitive. Maybe she needs something similar."

Dad only practiced with me because he sent me to a professional driving school where I was able to ask my instructor all kinds of questions or he instructed me to leave space, keep my eyes two cars ahead, etc.

[Anonymous]

I know several kids who have either ADHD or non-verbal learning disability who have had a really hard time learning to drive. I have heard that two or three times the required number of practice hours is more realistic when they are learning to compensate for something like that.

Also ditto the recommendation for I Drive Smart.

[Anonymous]

My DD is a very nervous driver. She's almost 17.5 and hasn't tested yet. I'm not pushing it. We don't have a dedicated car she'd drive anyway so none of us are pushing it. I figure each day she waits saves us some insurance money!