Wife's extreme uptalk and vocal fry

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:People have the right to use uptalk and vocal fry, and who am I to say they can't? That said, I can't take anyone seriously who talks like this, because they sound stupid. I once had opposing counsel do this; crushed them at every turn. Don't talk like a baby unless you want to get treated like one.

There is a woman in my office who talks like this. I makes me so crazy, I can't even work with her. I have assigned a staff member to handle all meetings with her just so I don't have to listen to her talk.

[Anonymous]

I sympathize, OP. While I still can't figure out what vocal fry is, I am familiar with uptalk and find it so annoying.
Funny story: a few years ago my son (then 7 I think) started with uptalk all of a sudden. I was feeling self-conscious thinking he was getting it from me. At its worst he had his annual check-up. Our long-term ped talked to him for a few minutes and then turned to me and asked "Where did THIS come from?" There was no need to ask what THIS meant. She said "I don't think he's getting it from you." I was so relieved to hear someone say that! He must have been getting it at school. It was like one of those people who gets a concussion and wakes up speaking with a British accent. My son went to school one day as a normal kid and came home talking like a valley girl. Anyway, good news is it didn't become permanent. His speech returned to normal after the school year ended.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes definitely decide what is and is not an appropriate way for a woman to talk...

Look, if she says "honey I can't seem to get anyone to take me seriously during my presentations - what am I doing wrong?" then sure, mention you've noticed it. Otherwise shut up and think about how often people tell you what tone of voice to use (probably never unless you have a habit of yelling).

Oh please! Men do the up talk thing too, and it is so so so annoying. You're the one making this a women-only thing. When my husband talks that way, I find it obnoxious, condescending. My response is "are you asking me, or telling me?"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Monkey see monkey do. Monkey gets run over. So do you.

Another irritating thing, starting off saying so. EX. I saw you at the park. Where were you headed after ? So I was like going shopping. What did you buy ? So I bought a bag of rocks. Why did you buy a bag of rocks ? So like I could look smarter.

I hate followers. Don't be a follower.

What does this even mean?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes definitely decide what is and is not an appropriate way for a woman to talk...

Look, if she says "honey I can't seem to get anyone to take me seriously during my presentations - what am I doing wrong?" then sure, mention you've noticed it. Otherwise shut up and think about how often people tell you what tone of voice to use (probably never unless you have a habit of yelling).

Oh please! Men do the up talk thing too, and it is so so so annoying. You're the one making this a women-only thing. When my husband talks that way, I find it obnoxious, condescending. My response is "are you asking me, or telling me?"

You are correct that members of both sexes may speak this way, but both OP and society have made it about women.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My wife recently returned to the workforce at a small nonprofit which is staffed with mostly 20-somethings. Over the past three months she has really embraced the uptalk and vocal fry thing when talking, I guess to fit in with the younger women. When she first started doing it, I thought it was a joke or something but it's really how she talks now. It is so extreme that it is almost like a parody but in the few times I dared to mention it to her, she got really upset and said she was talking normally.

Now my two daughters are trying to adapt that speech pattern.

She values the opinions of her coworkers more than she values yours.

[Anonymous]

Whatever the sex of the perpetrator they deserve to be slapped for talking like that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband is always calling me out on vocal fry. I can't help it and it drives me insane.

try to help it

I don't need anyone to dictate my speech habits thank you very much.

Of course you don't. But you must know, it makes you sound dumb.

Yeah well tell that to my 6 figure salary.

[Anonymous]

Your wife may just be unconsciously mimicking those around her. I know that I picked up accents really easily. If I work amongst really heavy southern speaking people I develop a southern accent, if I speak with people from New England , Ipick up that accent. I actually have to make a point of not picking it up, because if I relax it just happens.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. My intent was not to judge or police her speaking, but the change was so sudden and extreme that it seemed bizarre she was not aware.

I would find this weird too, OP. I don't know what to do about it, but hopefully she'll grow out of it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My wife recently returned to the workforce at a small nonprofit which is staffed with mostly 20-somethings. Over the past three months she has really embraced the uptalk and vocal fry thing when talking, I guess to fit in with the younger women. When she first started doing it, I thought it was a joke or something but it's really how she talks now. It is so extreme that it is almost like a parody but in the few times I dared to mention it to her, she got really upset and said she was talking normally.

Now my two daughters are trying to adapt that speech pattern.

Uptalk and vocal fry would seem to be mutually exclusive defects... I don't really understand this.

[Anonymous]

Vocal fry is actually classified as a speech disorder. If your wife is doing this, she needs to see a speech therapist.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thanks, women's voice police!

"the biggest users of vocal fry traditionally have been men, and it still is; men in the U.K, for instance. And it's considered kind of a sign of hyper-masculinity ... and by the same token, uptalk, it's clear that in some people's voices that has really become a style, but it has been around forever, and people use it stylistically in a variety of ways — both men and women."

http://www.npr.org/2015/07/23/425608745/from-upspeak-to-vocal-fry-are-we-policing-young-womens-voices

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Monkey see monkey do. Monkey gets run over. So do you.

Another irritating thing, starting off saying so. EX. I saw you at the park. Where were you headed after ? So I was like going shopping. What did you buy ? So I bought a bag of rocks. Why did you buy a bag of rocks ? So like I could look smarter.

I hate followers. Don't be a follower.

What does this even mean?

You can't figure that out? I have a cliff for you that everyone's jumping off.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Monkey see monkey do. Monkey gets run over. So do you.

Another irritating thing, starting off saying so. EX. I saw you at the park. Where were you headed after ? So I was like going shopping. What did you buy ? So I bought a bag of rocks. Why did you buy a bag of rocks ? So like I could look smarter.

I hate followers. Don't be a follower.

What does this even mean?

You can't figure that out? I have a cliff for you that everyone's jumping off.

No, it's just a weird metaphor. "Monkey see, monkey do" is a cliche, so no problem. But then the monkey is getting run over? Where did the road come from? Are they in the city -- escaped from the zoo, maybe? Or was the traffic just bad luck? I mean, it's probably not the jungle where monkeys tend to live, because there aren't a lot of cars. A cliff would have made more sense, but monkeys are pretty good climbers. I would have gone with lemmings if you wanted to throw a cliff into the conversation.